Valentine’s Day is upon us yet again, and with it comes the promise of love, romance, and of course, a few snarky remarks!
If you’re the type of person who likes to add a bit of sarcasm to the holiday, then this blog post is for you.
We’ve put together a collection of hilarious, sarcastic Valentines Day quotes that are sure to make your loved ones laugh—and maybe even make you reconsider giving that special someone a card this year!
So, if you’re looking for a bit of levity to brighten up the day, then you’ve come to the right place. From the witty to the downright outrageous, these 50+ Most funny and sarcastic Valentine’s Day quotes are sure to make your holiday memorable!
50+ Sarcastic valentines day quotes
The following are a list of Sarcastic valentines day quotes:
1. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I love you, now can I borrow a few bucks?”
2. “Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.”
3. “If you were a tear in my eye, I would not cry for fear of losing you.”
4. “You’re like snow – you’re beautiful but you’re cold.”
5. “Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you… but the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head.”
6. “My love for you is like the universe… never ending.”
7. “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.”
8. “Happy Valentines Day! We’re going to need a lot of wine for this one.”
9. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m out of chocolate, how about you?”
10. “I love you more than pizza, and that’s saying a lot.”
11. “My love for you is like diarrhea – I just can’t hold it in.”
12. “I love you more than my phone, and that’s saying something.”
13. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a crush on you, and you probably have one on someone else too.”
14. “Love is like a fart – if you have to force it, it’s probably not a good thing.”
15. “I love you more than words can say… and less than my ex.”
Also read: 100 Cute Valentine’s day quotes for everyone – 2024 edition
Best Sarcastic valentines day quotes funny edition
Here are some of the best sarcastic valentine’s day quotes funny edition for all:
16. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m not that into you, but happy Valentine’s Day anyway!”
17. “Love is like a booger – you keep picking at it until you get it, then you wonder what to do with it.”
18. “You’re my everything… except for my money.”
19. “Happy Valentine’s Day! I’ve got you a box of chocolates… and a restraining order.”
20. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I don’t have a valentine, but at least I have you.”
21. “Love is like a drug, and I’m addicted to you.”
22. “If I had a rose for every thought I had of you, I’d be walking through an eternal garden.”
23. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m feigning interest in this Valentine’s Day stuff, just like you.”
24. “Love is like a rollercoaster – it has its ups and downs, but it’s always a good time.”
25. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I don’t care about Valentines Day, how about you?”
Also read: 100 Naughty valentines day quotes for him or her – 2024 edition
Funny Valentine’s Day Quotes
Here is a list of funny valentine’s day quotes:
26. “Happy Valentine’s Day! Now let’s get out of here before Cupid shoots an arrow at us.”
27. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m not into you, and you’re not into me.”
28. “Love is like a game of chess – one false move and you’re toast.”
29. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I don’t need a valentine, I need tequila and you.”
30. “Love is like a virus – it can take over your whole body and you don’t even realize it’s happening.”
31. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m allergic to flowers, but I’ll suffer for you.”
32. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m in love with someone, who’s probably in love with you.”
33. “You’re the reason God created the middle finger.”
34. “I love you like a fat kid loves cake.”
35. “You’re the apple of my eye, but if you turn into a fruit fly, I’ll swat you.”
Cute and Sarcastic valentine quotes
Here are a few sarcastic valentines quotes:
36. “You’re my everything, except for when you’re being annoying, then you’re just mostly everything.”
37. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a lot of dirt on you, so I think we’re through.”
38. “You’re the best thing since sliced bread, but let’s face it, sliced bread is pretty great.”
39. “I love you more than words can say, but not as much as actions can show.”
40. “You’re the cheese to my macaroni, the peanut butter to my jelly, the toilet paper to my poo.”
41. “I love you more than a unicorn loves sparkles and rainbows.”
42. “You’re the only person I want to annoy for the rest of my life.”
43. “I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me choose.”
44. “You’re the only thing that makes my life bearable.”
45. “I love you more than words can say, but not as much as my therapist charges.”
46. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, except for the time I won a lifetime supply of chocolate.”
Also read: 30 Heart touching valentines day quotes for him
Hilarious and Funny Valentine day quotes
These are a few Funny sarcastic valentines day quotes:
47. “I love you more than my dog, but please don’t tell him that.”
48. “You’re the only person I want to spend eternity with, as long as eternity is less than 10 years.”
49. “I love you more than a cat loves catnip, but not as much as a cat loves to scratch furniture.”
50. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, except for the time I discovered Nutella.”
51. “I love you more than a bird loves to fly, but not as much as a bird loves to poop on cars.”
52. “You’re the only person I want to be stuck in an elevator with, as long as there’s wifi and snacks.”
53. “I love you more than a dog loves a bone, but not as much as a dog loves to roll in stinky things.”
54. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, except for the time I discovered Netflix.”
55. “I love you more than a fish loves water, but not as much as a fish loves to pee in it.”
56. “You’re the only person I want to spend the apocalypse with, as long as we have enough toilet paper.”
