There are a lot of valid reasons that someone would want to have s#x with you—but wanting a casual, no-strings-attached affair is not one of them. That’s just asinine. Most people will go into a FWB situation thinking it’s something harmless and easy.
In reality, however, things get complicated really quickly and you may find yourself getting hurt if your emotions get involved. If you’re looking for some fun and excitement, by all means—go right ahead.
But remember that there’s a reason these relationships often don’t work out in favor of long-term dating or even true love: It can be very hard to separate emotions from s#x when they share such close quarters.
Just make sure that you know what you’re getting into before pursuing such an arrangement (it should never happen randomly or impulsively). Consider discussing your goals, attitudes toward monogamy versus polyamory, and expectations around safer s#x with your partner before doing anything physical together.
Make sure both of you agree on expectations about exclusivity (what does each of you think?) and how serious any kind of relationship between the two of you might become. Once those points are settled, enjoy yourself! Just use caution because feelings sometimes do creep up unexpectedly after a while. Here is a list of friends with benefits questions to ask yourself and your potential FWB partner.
Related: Your complete guide to friends with benefits relationship
Friends with benefits questions
1. What does friends with benefits mean to a guy?
2. How to be friends with benefits?
3. do friends with benefits talk everyday?
4. how long can a friends with benefits relationship last?
5. do guys fall in love with friends with benefits?
6. do guys care about their fwb?
7. how to find friends with benefits?
8. what to text your friend with benefits?
9. how to get friends with benefits?
10. how to ask a guy to be friends with benefits?
11. does my fwb care about me?
12. how to make your friend with benefits fall in love with you?
13. how to keep your fwb interested?
14. how to ask for friends with benefits?
15. how to ask a girl to be friends with benefits over text?
16. is friends with benefits bad?
17. how to tell a guy you don’t want to be friends with benefits anymore?
18. how to know if you’re more than friends with benefits?
19. what do friends with benefits do together?
20. how to ask someone to be friends with benefits?
21. what does fwb mean?
22. what does fwb mean on tinder?
23. what does fwb mean on snapchat?
24. what does friends with benefits mean to a girl?
25. how to end friends with benefits and stay friends?
26. how to go back to being friends after sleeping together?
27. do friends with benefits cuddle?
28. do fwb usually come back?
29. what to do when your friends with benefits ignores you?
30. why do guys only want to be friends with benefits with me?
31. how to stop having feelings for a friend with benefits?
32. can friends with benefits fall.in love?
33. how to walk away from a friend with benefits?
34. how to tell if your friends with benefits wants more?
35. why do guys want friends with benefits?
36. what do you do when your fwb stops texting you?
37. how to tell if it’s more than friends with benefits?
Questions to ask your friends with benefits
1. How soon do you think a relationship can develop?
2. How are we going to define s#x? I’m not sure I want full on intercourse, but I also don’t want to put out just for oral and hand jobs. What’s my line in the sand?
3. How will we keep it from getting weird/awkward between us when one of us wants more than just casual s#x?
4. If either of us is dating someone else, how will that affect our FWB arrangement? (and vice versa?)
5. Are there any rules about who we each see outside of our FWB agreement (e.g., if I go on a date, does that mean you’re off limits for at least X days)?
6. Can we talk about our FWB arrangement if either of us changes our mind later on?
7. Can we talk about how you want more, or if I want less, even though we both agreed on an FWB situation?
8. Do we have an expiration date for how long our FWB agreement lasts? If so, what is it and when can it be renegotiated (if ever)?
9. What will each of us do after we part ways as a result of our FWB agreement ending? Will there be any hurt feelings or awkwardness around seeing each other again in social situations like work/school/activities? If so, what can we do about that going forward to keep things pleasant for everyone involved?
10. What will each of us do if we start to develop feelings for one another, or vice versa? What if we have already?
11. If you’re in a relationship that has ended, is your ex okay with you having a FWB arrangement with me? (i.e., would it be awkward around them?)
12. If I’m in a relationship that has ended, is my ex okay with me having a FWB arrangement with you? (i.e., would it be awkward around us?)
13. If I feel like I’m losing interest in you because we aren’t having s#x as often as we used to, how can we fix that? What will you do if I lose interest in you and don’t want anything more?
14. What would be too much of a time commitment for either of us?
15. What kind of weird/awkward situation have you heard about that people have gotten themselves into while being FWB? How can we avoid it happening to us?
16. Are you cool with being called your first name rather than by some ridiculous pet name that no one uses other than when they’re having s#x (e.g., Baby, Darling, Sweetie)? If so, what is your first name?
Related: 100+ Questions to ask your friends with benefits
Friends with benefits questions to ask
1) Do you have an STI? If yes, then how long since you were tested for STIs and did you get treated for it?
2) How do you want us to handle our exes and other people from past who may want a shot at getting back together?
3) What level of commitment do we each have towards each other?
4) Where do we see our friendship going?
5) What is your favorite thing about me?
6) How would you describe our friendship right now…just friends or something more.
7) What if one day you realize that I’m not everything that you’ve wanted. Would you still like to continue being my FWB?
8) Will anyone else know about our status as FWB?
9) Would we go out on dates?
10) Are your parents aware of my presence in your life and vice versa?
11) How would you react if I break up with someone to pursue a serious romantic relationship with you?
12) What changes would occur should we become exclusive (e.g., whether or not we will tell others that we are going steady/boyfriend-girlfriend, introduce ourselves as boyfriend/girlfriend, meet family members, etc.)?
13) When should I expect us to end our friendship for good if things don’t work out romantically between us?
14) Who has dibs on initiating s#x, typically?
15) How often does physical intimacy happen between us?
16) Am I capable of having another FWB outside of you or do you intend on monopolizing all my free time and s#x drive exclusively for yourself?
17) What happens when either one of us decides he/she wants to move forward to a new level; e.g., be exclusive, start dating others seriously while continuing our original arrangement, move in together, get married?
18) Is there anything else that we haven’t talked about but should discuss before we enter into such a lifestyle so no hard feelings arise later on because one person did not disclose information needed by his/her partner?
19) Can I use protection during intercourse with you?
20) Would we engage in oral s#x?
21) Can we ever get drunk together and just hang out rather than hooking up or making out?
22) Are you OK if I take pictures of us during intimate moments -whether its kissing, holding hands, hugging and cuddling, exchanging bodily fluids-and keeping them private so that neither one of us will leave loose ends or feel betrayed by each other in future?
23) What would you do if I cheated on you?
24) How much make out can we do with each other and where?
25) How many times a week can we make out with each other and where?
26) How many times a week can we have s#x and where?
27) How far down your body can I go with my tongue?
28) What positions do you enjoy most in bed, any turn offs, likes/dislikes related to positions/placement of legs or arms/body parts in general?
29) What method of birth control do you prefer while having unprotected intercourse?
30) How do you define unsafe s#x?
31) Are you willing to try other types of birth control methods?
32) What, if any type of activities will we not do together under any circumstances or are a definite deal breaker for you?
33) What s#xual activities are you interested in trying with me and what s#xual activities would be a total deal breaker for you?
34) Is there a particular kind of foreplay that we both should stick to when we’re going to have s#x with each other (kissing only, petting only, oral s#x only)?
35) Would your friends object if they found out about our relationship and what would their objections be according to you or is it none of their business anyway?
Questions for friends with benefits
1. How soon do you think a relationship can develop?
2. How are we going to define s#x? I’m not sure I want full on intercourse, but I also don’t want to put out just for oral and hand jobs. What’s my line in the sand?
3. How will we keep it from getting weird/awkward between us when one of us wants more than just casual s#x?
4. If either of us is dating someone else, how will that affect our FWB arrangement? (and vice versa?)
5. Are there any rules about who we each see outside of our FWB agreement (e.g., if I go on a date, does that mean you’re off limits for at least X days)?
6. Can we talk about our FWB arrangement if either of us changes our mind later on?
7. Can we talk about how you want more, or if I want less, even though we both agreed on an FWB situation?
8. Do we have an expiration date for how long our FWB agreement lasts? If so, what is it and when can it be renegotiated (if ever)?
9. What will each of us do after we part ways as a result of our FWB agreement ending? Will there be any hurt feelings or awkwardness around seeing each other again in social situations like work/school/activities? If so, what can we do about that going forward to keep things pleasant for everyone involved?
10. What will each of us do if we start to develop feelings for one another, or vice versa? What if we have already?
11. If you’re in a relationship that has ended, is your ex okay with you having a FWB arrangement with me? (i.e., would it be awkward around them?)
12. If I’m in a relationship that has ended, is my ex okay with me having a FWB arrangement with you? (i.e., would it be awkward around us?)
13. If I feel like I’m losing interest in you because we aren’t having s#x as often as we used to, how can we fix that? What will you do if I lose interest in you and don’t want anything more?
14. What would be too much of a time commitment for either of us?
15. What kind of weird/awkward situation have you heard about that people have gotten themselves into while being FWB? How can we avoid it happening to us?
16. Are you cool with being called your first name rather than by some ridiculous pet name that no one uses other than when they’re having s#x (e.g., Baby, Darling, Sweetie)? If so, what is your first name?
truth or drink friends with benefits questions
1. What are you doing after these three minutes are up? (truth or drink)
2. When did you first notice that you had feelings for me? (truth or drink)
3. What is your most embarrassing moment of all time? (truth or drink)
4. Tell me about a time when something went wrong for no reason at all and what caused it. (truth or drink)
5. If I didn’t ask, would you tell me why we’re only friends with benefits and not dating already? (truth or drink)
6. Who do you go to when everything is great in your life and when everything seems horrible? Why that person?(truth or drink)
7. Who do you have a crush on right now? (truth or drink)
8. Why haven’t we slept together yet? (truth or drink)
9. Who was your first love and how old were you when it happened? (truth or drink)
10. What do you think I’m going to be doing in 5 years? (truth or drink)
11. Do you like me just as a friend, more than a friend, less than a friend, something else entirely, what?(truth or drink)
12. How much alcohol have you consumed over the past three months? (in cups if possible). (truth or drink)
13. What is your definition of love? (truth or drink)
14. When are you happiest? (truth or drink)
15. Tell me something that no one knows about you: (truth or drink) 16. What are your pet peeves? (truth or drink)
17. If you could only do 1 thing in life what would it be?(truth or drink)
18. What is your favorite pastime activity to do with someone else?(truth or drink)
19. Where would you like to go on a date and why there?(truth or drink)
20. How many people have touched/kissed your genitals in total so far? (truth or drink)
Questions to ask before becoming friends with benefits
Here is a list of questions to consider before getting into a friends with benefits relationship.
1. What do you want? Why do you want it? How important is it to you? What will happen if you don’t get it?
2. What are your must haves? Do any of them overlap with your friend’s must haves? If so, how can that be managed in a way that works for both of you? If not, how can that be managed without sacrificing one or both of your needs?
3. What will happen if things don’t work out between you two? Are there plans to make sure everyone is protected and cared for (both emotionally and physically)? How will you break up with each other? Is that plan clearly communicated in advance so neither person has false expectations about future contact or lack thereof after things end between you two?
4. Do either one of you have significant others (or exes) who may try to interfere and disrupt what’s going on between you two due to jealousy or hurt feelings about what happened between them and/or their significant others? How will that be managed in a way that works for both of you? What is your plan if those outside individuals threaten to violate your boundaries as defined above?
What will happen if those people fail to respect those boundaries, even after being clearly told that they are unwelcome by both parties involved in your relationship? Who will help enforce those rules if needed, including situations where outside individuals feel entitled to decide what is and isn’t okay for someone else without getting permission from said person(s)?
5. How do each of you think a typical day might go during your time together under these new circumstances? What would be boring and what would be exciting? What would be routine and what would require some spontaneity or flexibility? Where and when might it get difficult for either one of you, if at all?
What type of boundaries do each of you have in place around contact outside of your arranged time together (which may include phone calls, texts, Facebook messages, etc.) that are not okay? How will those rules (if any) help protect both people involved so they can focus on enjoying their private time without undue stress or anxiety about things going on in their lives beyond your scheduled arrangement—or vice versa?
6. Do each of you have kids who need child care while you’re out being intimate with one another? How will they be accommodated? Will there be someone local who can babysit? Are there child care arrangements far enough in advance so no one is left scrambling when plans change unexpectedly? If someone has young children living elsewhere away from them, how does that affect scheduling and where visits occur between adult partner(s)?
7. How will you make sure that no one is leading anyone on or causing them to think something more serious may be going on when it’s not? Are both people clear about each other’s expectations for exclusivity and/or a future together? If either person wants there to be a future but isn’t sure whether that can happen, what does he or she plan to do about it?
What will he or she do if someone doesn’t share his or her interest in getting involved any further because they are not interested in a romantic commitment and would rather focus only on s#x and nothing else at all?
8. How will you and your friend(s) make sure that what happens between you two stays between you two? Can either person be trusted not to share details about what happens together in a way that violates or compromises someone else’s boundaries and/or expectations for privacy?
How will you work through potential problems if trust is broken by accident or on purpose, including who will handle those situations when they happen (and how)? If trust is broken intentionally, how does it get rebuilt so there is room for personal growth as well as healthy relationships moving forward?
9. What are your feelings about friendship outside of your arrangement? Will you still be friends after things end between you two or will one person walk away without looking back? What if that’s not what someone wants? How will those problems be handled in a way that’s respectful and accountable for both parties involved, including who initiates contact and what expectations are communicated in advance so neither person is left feeling unwanted or rejected if they don’t hear from their friend as much as they had hoped to?
10. How will you handle cheating and what happens if someone breaks up but can’t seem to get his or her emotions in check around him/her? Or, conversely, what happens if someone feels left behind and tries to intrude on your private time together even though you asked him or her not to?
How does each person take responsibility for their behavior so neither person finds himself or herself becoming a pest by repeatedly texting someone who just wants some space after he or she already made it clear s/he doesn’t want any contact at all? What will either of you do if someone isn’t happy after arrangements are made and things don’t go as planned because expectations weren’t set realistically in advance, leading one person to feel disappointed and abandoned as a result?
11. What happens if someone finds his or her feelings growing so intense that he or she can’t continue, but doesn’t want to be that guy who blows up your arrangement?
What happens if someone stops wanting s#x altogether while continuing to want a deeper emotional connection and wants out of what was originally intended as nothing more than casual s#x?
What do you plan to do about these situations so neither person gets hurt in ways that are avoidable in order for everyone involved to feel respected and valued? How will either person handle these situations so things can move forward in a way that’s healthy for all involved, including each other?
12. What happens if you change your mind about someone or about s#x altogether? What do you each plan to do if you realize that he or she is no longer what you want and/or aren’t enjoying casual s#x anymore?
13. How will either of you handle things if one person doesn’t believe his or her needs are being met in a healthy way, including who plans to approach his or her friend(s) when it’s time for them to talk, how will they go about doing so, and what will be said in those discussions moving forward? What happens if their friend(s) push back instead of hearing him/her out like they should?
14. How will either of you handle things if one person’s feelings change and he or she wants more than what was initially agreed upon? What happens if he or she finds someone else who makes him or her feel that way, whether it’s because someone else is being more affectionate and/or making him/her feel special in some way?
Or, conversely, what happens if s/he just can’t get his or her needs met by a friend in a healthy way any longer? How does each person handle these situations without trying to control his or her friend(s) emotionally?
15. How will either of you handle things if one person doesn’t like something that happens between them that wasn’t agreed upon or planned? What if something is said or done without consent as a result? How does each person handle these situations so neither person finds himself or herself getting upset at his/her friend for doing something he/she didn’t agree to but can learn from and appreciate in some way?
16. What happens if something goes wrong and one person ends up feeling like he or she is being cheated, manipulated, taken advantage of, etc.? How does each person feel what he or she feels without making it about his/her friend in ways that are avoidable? What do you plan to do about it if your feelings are hurt as a result of something your friend did?
17. What happens if someone finds himself or herself falling in love with his/her friend? What do they do if they can’t get over him/her after he/she makes it clear s/he wants nothing more than friendship moving forward?
18. What happens if someone’s feelings aren’t reciprocated? How does each person handle a friendship that isn’t what either person wants it to be, including situations where he or she is doing his/her best to get out of there in a way that respects him/her and all involved parties?
19. What happens if one or both people end up getting hurt as a result of one or both of you wanting out at some point? How do you plan on feeling and acting when it comes time for either person(s) to let each other go without taking it personally, lashing out, etc.? How do you plan on getting out of your friend’s life in a healthy way so as not to ruin anything more than absolutely necessary?
20. What happens if you two want out of your friendship at some point but only one person is willing and able to move on? How do you handle things so neither person finds him/herself feeling isolated and without a support system as a result? What do you do about it if either or both of you wants more than just a friendship but no one’s interested in anything more at that time?
Related: 250 Questions to ask right now to understand anyone
