Friends with benefits (FWB) relationships can be both thrilling and complicated, especially when it comes to the texting aspect of the arrangement.
Texting can be a powerful tool for building intimacy and maintaining a connection with your FWB, but it can also be a source of confusion and miscommunication.
In this blog post, I will share 50 FWB texting rules that are grounded in research and practical insights. These rules will help you navigate the complex world of FWB texting while avoiding common pitfalls and maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner.
Whether you’re new to the FWB scene or have been in this type of arrangement for a while, these rules will help you communicate effectively and build a fulfilling physical relationship.
50 Fwb texting rules
The following is a list of fwb texting rules you must follow to maintain a healthy and successful friends with benefits relationship:
1. Don’t be too available, maintain some mystery.
Maintaining some mystery is essential in any relationship, but it is especially important in FWB relationships.
When partners are too available to each other, they become predictable and boring. Don’t approach your fwb daily, stop texting everyday, and it’s not necessary to reply to each text they send to you.
To maintain some mystery in an FWB relationship, partners should not always be available to each other.
You should take some time to pursue your own interests and hobbies and to spend time with other friends and family members.
This will make them more interesting and desirable to their FWB partner, and it will keep the relationship fresh and exciting.
Here are some example statements you can use to set fwb texting rules while you are communicating:
- Let’s limit our texting to a certain time of day to avoid distractions.
- We should avoid texting about personal problems and focus on enjoying each other’s company.
- Let’s take turns initiating conversations to avoid feeling overwhelmed or ignored.
- Let’s use suggestive language to build anticipation and excitement for future encounters.
- We should avoid using texting as a substitute for in-person interactions, as it can lead to a loss of emotional connection.
Here are a few questions to ask your fwb and yourself while establishing FWB texting rules:
- What are our expectations for the frequency and content of our texting conversations?
- How can we maintain some mystery and excitement in our FWB relationship through texting?
- What are our boundaries around discussing other sexual partners or personal issues?
- How can we use texting to build anticipation and excitement for future sexual encounters?
- What are our goals for this FWB relationship, and how can texting support those goals?
2. Avoid talking about your personal life problems.
Sharing personal problems with your FWB can send mixed signals and may blur the lines of the relationship.
Your FWB might interpret your sharing as a sign that you want to develop a more serious relationship or that you are emotionally dependent on them.
This can lead to misunderstandings and make things awkward between you.
Moreover, discussing your personal life problems with your FWB can create unnecessary drama and complicate the relationship.
If you have a problem that needs to be addressed, it is best to seek support from your family, friends, or a professional therapist, rather than relying on your FWB.
Keeping your personal life separate from your FWB relationship can help maintain a healthy and enjoyable FWB dynamic.
To set FWB texting rules, you can use the following example statements:
- Let’s keep our texting conversations casual and light-hearted.
- We should avoid discussing our personal problems and keep our relationship purely physical.
- If one of us starts to catch feelings, we need to communicate about it openly and honestly.
- Let’s agree to keep our FWB relationship discreet and not share intimate details with others.
- Let’s set boundaries around our texting frequency and the times we communicate.
- We should both be upfront about our expectations and desires for the relationship.
- Let’s not use texting as a way to check in on each other’s whereabouts or daily activities.
- We should both agree to respect each other’s privacy and not share any intimate photos or messages with others.
To further clarify FWB texting rules, I suggest asking yourself and your FWB the following questions:
- What are our expectations for the FWB relationship, and are they aligned?
- How often do we want to communicate via text, and what are the boundaries around our texting frequency?
- What topics are off-limits for texting, and how should we address them if they come up?
- What are our boundaries around communication outside of texting, such as phone calls or in-person interactions?
- How will we handle situations where one of us starts to develop feelings or wants to end the FWB relationship?
3. Keep your messages private and avoid sharing them with others.
I strongly believe that the most crucial aspect of any relationship, including friends with benefits (FWB), is privacy.
It is important to keep your messages private and avoid sharing them with others, especially when it comes to FWB texting.
The reason being is that FWB relationships are often based on mutual trust, discretion, and respect for each other’s boundaries.
Sharing private messages with others can breach that trust and cause unwanted consequences.
In today’s digital age, it is all too easy to screenshot, share, and spread private messages without consent.
This can lead to embarrassment, humiliation, and even legal consequences. Therefore, it is essential to establish clear boundaries around privacy in FWB texting.
It is important to ensure that both parties are comfortable with the level of privacy and agree to keep all messages confidential.
To help establish clear boundaries, here are some example statements to set FWB texting rules:
We agree to keep all messages between us and not share them with anyone else.
We will not screenshot or record any messages without explicit consent.
If either of us feels uncomfortable with the content of a message, we will discuss it openly and honestly.
We will respect each other’s privacy and not ask for access to each other’s phones or social media accounts.
We agree to delete any explicit messages or images after we have viewed them.
We will use discretion when texting and avoid sending explicit messages in public or around others.
We will not use our FWB texting conversations as a topic of conversation with other friends or acquaintances.
We will not use our FWB texting conversations to manipulate or control each other.
We will be mindful of each other’s schedules and not send messages at inappropriate times (e.g., during work hours or late at night).
We will communicate openly and honestly about any concerns or issues that may arise around privacy or confidentiality.
In addition to setting clear boundaries around privacy, it is important to ask yourself and your FWB partner the following questions when setting FWB texting rules:
How important is privacy to you in this FWB relationship?
Are there any specific types of messages or images that you are uncomfortable receiving or sending?
How will we handle any breaches of privacy or confidentiality?
Are there any specific times or situations where we should avoid texting each other?
How can we ensure that we are both comfortable with the level of privacy in our FWB texting relationship?
4. Use humor and sarcasm to keep things interesting.
Humor and sarcasm are important elements in any relationship, including a friends-with-benefits (FWB) arrangement.
When used appropriately, humor and sarcasm can help to break the ice, reduce tension, and create a fun, lighthearted atmosphere that is conducive to sexual intimacy.
Additionally, humor and sarcasm can serve as a way to express affection and bond with your partner, even if the relationship is not strictly romantic.
When setting FWB texting rules, it is important to establish guidelines for how humor and sarcasm will be used in your communication.
Some possible rules might include: avoiding sarcasm when discussing serious topics, using humor to lighten the mood during moments of tension or awkwardness, and refraining from making jokes at your partner’s expense.
By establishing these rules and sticking to them, you can ensure that your use of humor and sarcasm is healthy and beneficial to your relationship.
Here are some example statements to set FWB texting rules that incorporate humor and sarcasm:
“If we’re ever fighting, we have to send each other a picture of a cute animal to diffuse the tension.”
“We can use the 😜 emoji to signal when we’re being sarcastic, so the other person knows not to take us too seriously.”
“If we ever start taking ourselves too seriously, we have to watch a silly movie together to remind ourselves to lighten up.”
“We can’t make fun of each other’s insecurities or vulnerabilities, but everything else is fair game.”
“If one of us says something unintentionally funny, the other person has to send back a laughing GIF.”
“We can use humor to flirt with each other, but we have to be careful not to lead each other on.”
“If we’re ever feeling stressed or overwhelmed, we can send each other a stupid joke to help us relax.”
“We have to promise to never use humor or sarcasm to hurt each other, even if we’re upset.”
When setting FWB texting rules, it is also important to ask yourself and your partner some important questions to ensure that you are both on the same page.
Here are some questions to ask:
“What kind of humor do you find most appealing or attractive in a partner?”
“How do you typically use humor to cope with stress or difficult situations?”
“What are some topics that you feel are off-limits for joking or sarcasm?”
“How do you think we can use humor and sarcasm to enhance our sexual intimacy?”
“What boundaries do we need to establish around our use of humor and sarcasm to ensure that we don’t accidentally hurt each other?”
5. Send flirty texts, but don’t overdo it.
When it comes to FWB texting rules, sending flirty texts is an essential part of maintaining the fun and excitement of the relationship.
However, it’s important not to overdo it, as this can lead to misunderstandings and expectations that may not be met.
Flirty texts can range from playful banter to explicit suggestions, and they can help keep the sexual tension between partners high.
However, it’s important to be mindful of the frequency and tone of these messages. If one partner is sending too many flirty texts or if they are becoming too aggressive or pushy, it can make the other partner uncomfortable and may even lead to the end of the FWB relationship.
To maintain a healthy balance, it’s important to communicate openly and honestly about what each partner is comfortable with.
Some people may prefer more frequent or explicit messages, while others may prefer a more reserved approach.
By discussing these preferences, both partners can feel more confident and secure in their FWB relationship.
Here are a few example statements to help set FWB texting rules:
Let’s establish a baseline for how often we want to text each other.
Flirty texts can be fun, but let’s make sure we’re both comfortable with the level of intensity.
If one of us is ever feeling uncomfortable with the content of a text, we should feel free to speak up.
It’s important to be clear about our expectations for the FWB relationship, so let’s discuss what we want out of it.
It’s important to respect each other’s privacy, so let’s agree not to share any intimate photos or messages with others.
Let’s make sure we’re both on the same page about what our boundaries are when it comes to texting.
If one of us needs to take a break from texting for any reason, we should communicate that openly and honestly.
Let’s make sure we’re both having fun and enjoying the FWB relationship.
When setting FWB texting rules, it’s also important to ask some key questions to ensure that both partners are comfortable and happy with the arrangement.
Here are five example questions:
What are your expectations for the frequency and tone of our text messages?
Are there any specific boundaries you want to establish around texting?
How comfortable are you with receiving explicit or suggestive messages?
How do you feel about sharing intimate photos or messages with each other?
Are there any other concerns or issues you want to discuss regarding our FWB texting rules?
6. Avoid being too needy or clingy.
When it comes to FWB texting rules, it’s essential to avoid being too needy or clingy, as this behavior can be a turn-off for your FWB, and it can also make things awkward and uncomfortable.
One of the reasons why being too needy or clingy is a problem in FWB relationships is that it can create unrealistic expectations.
When you start to text your FWB too often, or you become too dependent on their attention, you may start to expect more from the relationship than what it actually is.
This can lead to disappointment and frustration, and it can also put a strain on the relationship.
Another reason why being too needy or clingy is a problem is that it can make your FWB feel uncomfortable.
They may feel like you are trying to control the relationship or that you are trying to make it more serious than it actually is. This can be a turn-off, and it can also lead to resentment and frustration on both sides.
To avoid being too needy or clingy, it’s important to set clear boundaries and expectations from the beginning.
Here are a few example statements that you can use to set FWB texting rules:
Let’s keep our texting casual and fun.
I don’t want to text too often and make things awkward.
Let’s avoid talking about serious or emotional topics over text.
If we’re going to text late at night, let’s keep it flirty and fun.
I don’t want to text too much during the day, as I have other things going on.
Let’s not text when we’re with other people.
Let’s avoid sending too many selfies or photos.
Let’s be respectful of each other’s time and schedules.
Let’s avoid getting too attached or emotional over text.
Here are a few questions to consider:
What are your expectations for our texting communication?
How often do you think we should text each other?
What kind of content should we avoid discussing over text?
How do you feel about sending photos or videos over text?
What boundaries do we need to establish to ensure that our texting relationship stays healthy and fun?
7. Respect your partner’s boundaries and preferences.
Respecting your partner’s boundaries and preferences is crucial in any kind of relationship, especially in a friends with benefits (FWB) situation.
It means that you have to understand and accept the limits that your partner has set for themselves, both in terms of physical and emotional intimacy.
It also means that you have to communicate and make sure that you are not pushing your partner to do something that they are not comfortable with.
In an FWB relationship, it can be easy to blur the lines between being just friends and being romantically involved.
This is why respecting boundaries is important, as it can prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings. It also shows that you care about your partner’s well-being and that you are willing to prioritize their needs.
To set FWB texting rules while communicating, here are a few examples:
Let’s not text past a certain time of night.
We should check in with each other before sending any explicit messages.
Let’s avoid talking about our dating lives outside of this arrangement.
We should both agree to be open and honest about our feelings.
We should avoid making plans too far in advance to keep things casual.
Let’s not text every day, but check in with each other every once in a while.
We should be clear about what we want and don’t want in terms of physical intimacy.
Let’s avoid talking about our past relationships.
We should respect each other’s privacy and not share personal information with others.
To further set FWB texting rules, here are five questions to ask your FWB and yourself:
What are your expectations for this arrangement?
Are there any topics that are off-limits for discussion?
How often do you want to communicate?
What are your boundaries when it comes to physical intimacy?
What happens if one of us develops feelings for the other?
8. Don’t engage in sexting unless both parties are comfortable.
The point about not engaging in sexting unless both parties are comfortable is essential in establishing clear and healthy FWB texting rules.
Sexting involves exchanging sexually explicit messages and images, which can be a sensitive and personal topic for many individuals.
It’s important to ensure that both parties are comfortable with engaging in sexting before initiating it.
Unwanted or unsolicited sexting can lead to feelings of discomfort, anxiety, and even trauma, particularly if one party feels pressured or coerced into participating.
This can negatively impact the FWB relationship and can also have lasting effects on one’s mental and emotional well-being.
Setting clear boundaries around sexting can help to ensure that both parties feel respected and valued in the relationship.
These boundaries can include guidelines around the types of messages or images that are appropriate, the frequency of sexting, and the times and places where sexting is acceptable.
To establish effective FWB texting rules, consider the following statements:
We should establish clear boundaries around sexting to ensure that both parties feel comfortable and respected.
Let’s discuss what types of messages or images are acceptable before engaging in sexting.
We should establish a “safe word” to use if either party feels uncomfortable during sexting.
We should limit the frequency of sexting to ensure that it doesn’t become the primary focus of our relationship.
Let’s agree on times and places where sexting is acceptable and when it is not.
We should prioritize clear and open communication around sexting to avoid misunderstandings or misinterpretations.
We should respect each other’s boundaries and be willing to adjust our behaviors if necessary.
Let’s make sure that we both feel comfortable with engaging in sexting before initiating it.
We should be willing to discuss any concerns or discomfort around sexting openly and honestly.
When setting FWB texting rules, it’s important to ask both yourself and your FWB the following questions:
How do you feel about engaging in sexting?
What types of messages or images do you feel comfortable receiving or sending?
What are your boundaries around sexting, and how can we respect them?
How do you feel about discussing concerns or discomfort around sexting?
How can we prioritize each other’s well-being in our FWB relationship?
9. Keep your private life separate from your FWB arrangement.
One of the key points to consider while engaging in a FWB relationship is to keep your private life separate from the arrangement.
This is crucial to maintain the boundaries of the arrangement and avoid complications that may arise due to personal emotions or conflicting interests.
When it comes to FWB arrangements, it is important to understand that the arrangement is based on a mutual agreement to engage in sexual activity without any commitment.
It is not an invitation to share your personal life or involve your FWB partner in your private matters.
Sharing personal details or inviting your FWB partner into your personal life can create an emotional bond that can complicate the arrangement and blur the lines between friendship and a committed relationship.
Here are ten example statements to set FWB texting rules while communicating:
Let’s only communicate about our arrangement and avoid discussing our personal lives.
We will only text when we want to arrange a meetup.
Let’s not text outside of our scheduled meetups.
If we’re not available to meet up, we won’t text just to chat.
Let’s keep our texts brief and to the point.
We won’t text during work hours or when either of us is busy.
If one of us is not interested in continuing the arrangement, we will communicate it directly.
We will respect each other’s boundaries and personal lives.
Asking questions is crucial to ensure that both parties are on the same page regarding the FWB arrangement.
Here are some questions to ask yourself and your FWB partner while setting FWB texting rules:
What are your boundaries regarding communication outside of meetups?
How often do you expect to communicate over text?
Are there any topics that are off-limits when texting?
How will we handle conflicts or misunderstandings that may arise over text?
What is your understanding of the arrangement, and are there any concerns or expectations you have regarding texting?
10. Avoid talking about your ex or past relationships.
I have seen many friends with benefits (FWB) relationships that ended up failing due to the partners discussing their past relationships.
It is crucial to avoid talking about your ex or past relationships when in an FWB relationship because it can lead to emotional attachment and confusion, which can lead to the end of the relationship.
When partners in an FWB relationship talk about their exes, they might end up comparing their current partner with their past partners.
This can cause emotional distress to the current partner, and they might feel insecure, jealous, or even insignificant.
Additionally, discussing past relationships can create a false sense of intimacy that is not present in the current FWB relationship.
It might give the impression that the partners are developing a deeper connection when, in reality, they are not.
Moreover, discussing past relationships can lead to feelings of jealousy and possessiveness, which is not appropriate in an FWB relationship.
When partners discuss their exes, they might start asking questions about their current partner’s romantic life, which might lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
To ensure that the FWB relationship remains casual and stress-free, it is crucial to set some ground rules.
Here are a few example statements that partners can use to set FWB texting rules:
We will keep our conversations casual and not discuss personal issues.
We will not talk about our past relationships.
We will not use pet names or anything that might suggest that we are more than FWB.
We will respect each other’s privacy and not demand answers to personal questions.
We will be honest about our intentions and our feelings.
We will not send messages when we are drunk or under the influence of any substance.
We will not pressure each other to do anything we are not comfortable with.
We will not talk about our FWB relationship with mutual friends or acquaintances.
Here are a few questions that partners can ask yourself and your FWB:
What are our intentions for this FWB relationship, and are we both on the same page?
What are our boundaries, and how can we communicate them effectively?
What happens if one of us starts developing romantic feelings?
What happens if one of us wants to end the FWB relationship?
How often will we communicate, and what kind of messages are appropriate?
Here are some more fwb texting rules you should follow to maintain a healthy and successful friends with benefits relationship.
Important Friends with benefits texting rules
Here are some of the crucial friends with benefits texting rules you must establish in fwb relationship:
11. Avoid sending messages late at night or early in the morning.
12. Don’t send too many messages in a row without a response.
13. Don’t send explicit photos or messages without prior consent.
14. Keep your messages focused on scheduling meetups and activities.
15. Be mindful of your tone and avoid sounding demanding.
16. Avoid sending multiple messages if your partner doesn’t respond.
17. Don’t use texting as a way to control or manipulate your partner.
18. Respect your partner’s time and don’t text during work hours.
19. Don’t make assumptions about your partner’s feelings or thoughts.
20. Avoid using emojis excessively or inappropriately.
21. Keep your texts concise and to the point.
22. Don’t send texts that are too explicit or graphic.
23. Don’t bring up sensitive or controversial topics over text.
24. Avoid texting when you’re under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
25. Don’t send messages that could be misinterpreted or taken out of context.
FWB texting rules for guys and girls (women or men)
26. Don’t use texting as a way to avoid face-to-face conversations.
27. Avoid using texting as the primary means of communication.
28. Don’t be too formal or rigid in your texting style.
29. Use texting as a way to enhance your physical relationship, not replace it.
30. Avoid sending texts that could be considered disrespectful or offensive.
31. Avoid texting too frequently, give your partner some space.
32. Keep your texts positive and uplifting, avoid negativity.
33. Don’t overanalyze your partner’s texts or read into them too much.
34. Avoid sending texts when you’re feeling emotional or upset.
35. Don’t use texting to make important decisions.
36. Avoid texting when you’re in a rush or distracted.
37. Don’t send texts that could be seen as desperate or needy.
38. Avoid sending texts that could make your partner feel uncomfortable.
39. Use proper grammar and spelling in your texts.
40. Don’t send texts that could be considered boring or uninteresting.
41. Avoid texting during social situations or events.
42. Don’t use texting to make your partner jealous or insecure.
43. Avoid sending texts that are too formal or stiff.
44. Use texting to build intimacy and connection, not to create distance.
45. Don’t use texting as a way to avoid intimacy or vulnerability.
46. Avoid sending texts that could be seen as passive-aggressive.
47. Don’t send texts that could be perceived as rude or disrespectful.
48. Use texting to show appreciation and gratitude towards your partner.
49. Avoid sending texts that could be seen as manipulative or controlling.
50. Don’t use texting as a way to play mind games with your partner.
In conclusion, navigating the texting aspect of FWB relationships can be challenging, but with the right mindset and communication strategies, it can also be rewarding.
By following the above 50 FWB texting rules, you can avoid common mistakes, build intimacy and connection with your partner, and maintain a healthy and fulfilling physical relationship.
Remember to be respectful, honest, and open with your partner, while also keeping things light, fun, and casual.
With these principles in mind, you can enjoy the excitement and thrill of FWB relationships while avoiding the potential pitfalls that can come with them.