While friends with benefits relationships are often viewed as purely physical and devoid of emotional intimacy, the reality is much more complex.
Despite the lack of emotional commitment, many people in these types of relationships find themselves developing romantic feelings for their partners, and there are several factors that can contribute to this process.
If you are wondering can friends with benefits fall in love, in this blog post, we will explore some of the factors that can contribute to friends with benefits falling in love.
While there are many different factors that can play a role in this process, we will focus on five factors that are often overlooked or not fully understood by experts in the field.
By gaining a deeper understanding of these factors, we can better understand the dynamics of FWB relationships and the potential for these relationships to develop into something more.
Can friends with benefits fall in love?
Many people enter into FWB relationships with the intention of keeping things casual and not developing any romantic feelings. However, it is important to understand that humans are emotional beings, and it is not uncommon for feelings to develop over time.
From a psychological perspective, it is important to note that there are several factors that can contribute to the development of romantic feelings in FWB relationships.
One such factor is the release of oxytocin during sexual activity. Oxytocin is a hormone that is associated with social bonding and is released during orgasm.
This can create a sense of emotional closeness and intimacy between two people, which can then lead to the development of romantic feelings.
Another factor that can contribute to the development of romantic feelings in FWB relationships is the formation of attachment styles.
Attachment styles are developed early in life and are based on the quality of our relationships with our primary caregivers.
People with a secure attachment style tend to have more stable and fulfilling relationships, whereas people with an insecure attachment style may struggle with intimacy and emotional closeness.
In FWB relationships, attachment styles can influence how we perceive and respond to our partners, which can then affect the development of romantic feelings.
Research also suggests that the nature of the relationship prior to entering into a FWB arrangement can play a role in the development of romantic feelings.
For example, people who were friends before becoming FWB may be more likely to develop romantic feelings than those who were strangers.
In 2020, a longitudinal study was conducted among 191 people aged 30 on average to investigate “friends with benefits” relationships.
Participants were predominantly female (70%), white (74%), and heterosexual (72%), and had known their friend with benefits for three years prior to the study. The first survey asked what they wanted from the FWB relationship, their level of satisfaction, and the amount of communication they had about the rules.
After a year, the second survey gauged how the relationships had evolved.
Surprisingly, the participants’ wishes were in alignment with the outcomes of the relationship only 17% of the time. 25% still had a friends with benefits relationship, 15% had become romantic, 28% remained friends without the benefits, and 31% had ended the relationship.
Those who wanted to stay friends were the most successful in achieving their goal (59%), while those wanting to enter a romantic relationship were the least successful (15%).
Garcia and Reiber (2008) conducted a study to investigate the motivations behind hookups. 89% of the female participants reported wanting physical pleasure, while 54% desired emotional connection and 51% hoped to start a romantic relationship.
Thus, in reality friends with benefits fall in love and it can be concluded that many young people desire hookups for physical pleasure, but some also want an emotional connection and are looking to begin a romantic relationship.
Also read: Statistics of friends with benefits turning into a relationship (As per research, survey, study)
5 Factors that influence friends with benefits fall in love
Many people in these types of FWB relationships find themselves developing romantic feelings for their partners, and there are several factors that can contribute to this process.
These include the impact of hormones and brain chemistry, the development of a shared history and memories, attachment styles, physical and emotional compatibility, and changes in life circumstances.
By understanding these factors, we can gain a deeper understanding of the nuances of FWB relationships and how they can evolve over time. Here are 5 majors that influence friends with benefits develop feelings and fall in love:
1. Shared experiences and intimate activities:
Spending time together doing things that you both enjoy can create a sense of connection and shared intimacy.
When you share experiences and intimate activities with someone, it can deepen your emotional bond and make you feel closer to them.
This can be particularly true in FWB relationships, where the focus is often on physical intimacy rather than emotional intimacy.
However, if you find that you enjoy spending time with your FWB outside of the bedroom, it can be a sign that you are developing feelings for them.
2. Personal growth and development:
When we enter into relationships, we often do so with the intention of growing and learning together.
In FWB relationships, personal growth and development can be an unexpected byproduct. As you spend time with your FWB, you may find that you are learning more about yourself and what you want from a relationship.
This can lead to a deeper understanding of your own feelings and desires, and can make it easier for you to identify when you are developing romantic feelings for your FWB.
Additionally, if you and your FWB are both invested in personal growth and development, it can create a sense of mutual respect and admiration that can deepen your emotional connection.
Also read: Do friends with benefits cuddle and hold hands? complete guide with rules for cuddling in fwb
3. Influence of attachment styles:
Attachment styles are patterns of behavior and emotions that are developed early in life and are based on the quality of our relationships with our primary caregivers.
People with different attachment styles tend to have different patterns of behavior in relationships.
For example, people with a secure attachment style tend to have more stable and fulfilling relationships, while people with an insecure attachment style may struggle with intimacy and emotional closeness.
In the context of friends with benefits relationships, attachment styles can influence how we perceive and respond to our partners, which can then affect the development of romantic feelings.
People with a secure attachment style tend to be more comfortable with emotional intimacy and are better able to communicate their feelings and needs to their partners.
This can make it easier for them to recognize and express their romantic feelings if they develop them.
On the other hand, people with an insecure attachment style may struggle with emotional intimacy and may have difficulty recognizing and expressing their feelings.
This can make it harder for them to identify when they are developing romantic feelings for their FWB.
Additionally, people with an insecure attachment style may be more likely to cling to their FWB as a source of emotional support, even if they know that the relationship is not meant to be romantic.
This can make it difficult for them to move on from the relationship if their FWB does not reciprocate their feelings.
It is worth noting that attachment styles are not fixed and can change over time.
Through therapy or other interventions, people with an insecure attachment style can learn to develop more secure attachment styles and improve their ability to form and maintain healthy relationships.
If you find that your attachment style is interfering with your ability to form romantic relationships with your FWB, it may be helpful to seek out professional support to work on these issues.
Also read: How to stop having feelings for a friend with benefits? (10 tips and strategies)
4. Physical and emotional compatibility:
In FWB relationships, physical compatibility is often the primary focus. However, emotional compatibility can also play a role in the development of romantic feelings.
If you and your FWB share similar values, goals, and interests, it can create a sense of emotional connection that can deepen over time.
Additionally, if you find that you have a strong emotional connection with your FWB outside of the bedroom, it can be a sign that you are developing romantic feelings for them.
5. Changes in life circumstances:
Life circumstances can also play a role in the development of romantic feelings in FWB relationships.
If you and your FWB are going through similar life changes or challenges, it can create a sense of shared experience and intimacy that can lead to the development of romantic feelings.
For example, if you and your FWB are both going through a difficult time at work or with family, it can create a sense of emotional support and connection that can lead to deeper feelings.
Additionally, changes in life circumstances such as moving to a new city or starting a new job can create feelings of uncertainty and instability, which can make people more likely to seek out emotional support and intimacy from their FWB.
Also read: Your guide to ending fwb because of feelings (signs, reasons, tips)
Final thoughts:
In conclusion, while friends with benefits relationships are often viewed as a casual and commitment-free alternative to traditional romantic relationships, they can also be a source of unexpected romantic feelings.
Factors such as physical and emotional compatibility, changes in life circumstances, attachment styles, shared experiences, and oxytocin release can all contribute to the development of romantic feelings in FWB relationships.
While these relationships can be enjoyable and fulfilling in the short-term, it is important to be aware of the potential for emotional attachment and to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your feelings and intentions.
By being mindful of these factors and taking a proactive approach to communication and emotional regulation, you can create a healthy and fulfilling FWB relationship or transition into a more traditional romantic relationship if that is what you desire.
