What to do when your friends with benefits ignores you? (11 things to do + 10 tips to handle the situation)

Friends with benefits relationships can be a fun and exciting way to explore your sexuality and enjoy the company of another person without the pressure of a traditional romantic relationship. 

However, even in casual arrangements, it’s important to establish clear communication and boundaries to avoid hurt feelings and confusion.

Unfortunately, even with clear expectations, it’s possible for one person in a friends with benefits relationship to begin ignoring the other. This can be a frustrating and confusing experience, leaving you wondering what you did wrong or how to fix the situation.

In this post, we’ll explore some tips and strategies to handle and what to do when your friends with benefits ignores you.

We’ll cover everything from assessing the situation to communicating your needs and establishing boundaries with examples. With a fresh perspective you’ll be better equipped to navigate this tricky situation and come out feeling empowered and confident. So let’s dive in!

What to do when your friends with benefits ignores you?

There are several important psychological and emotional aspects to consider when dealing with an FWB who is ignoring you. FWB relationships can be particularly challenging, as they often lack the emotional connection and commitment found in traditional romantic relationships.

One important factor to consider is the psychological impact of being ignored by an FWB. Research has shown that social rejection, including being ignored by someone we care about, can lead to negative emotional and physical outcomes, including depression, anxiety, and even physical pain.

Therefore, it is important to take care of yourself and prioritize your mental and physical health during this difficult time.

Another important aspect to consider is the power dynamic in FWB relationships. Because these relationships often lack the commitment and emotional intimacy of traditional relationships, one partner may hold more power or control over the other.

This power dynamic can be particularly problematic when one partner is being ignored, as it can leave them feeling powerless and vulnerable.

In addition, it is important to consider the role of attachment styles in FWB relationships. Research has shown that individuals with anxious attachment styles may be more likely to engage in FWB relationships and may be particularly vulnerable to the negative emotional impact of being ignored by an FWB. 

Therefore, it is important to be aware of your own attachment style and how it may be impacting your emotional response to the situation.

Also read: What does friends with benefits mean to a woman? (research based)

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11 Things to do when your friends with benefits ignores you

Here are some things to do when your friends with benefits ignores you

1. Understand the power dynamics in the relationship.

In a friends with benefits relationship, it’s essential to understand the power dynamics at play. Often, one person may feel more invested than the other, which can lead to unequal power dynamics. This can make it challenging to navigate when one person is ignoring the other.

Example communication tips:

You: “I think we should talk about the power dynamics in our relationship. I feel like I might be more invested than you are, and that’s making it hard for me when you ignore me. Can we discuss how we can balance things out?”

Questions to ask:

How do you feel about the power dynamics in our relationship?

Do you think we have equal investment in this relationship?

How can we work together to create a more balanced dynamic?

2. Reflect on your own attachment style and triggers.

It’s essential to understand your own attachment style and triggers in any relationship, but it’s especially crucial in a friends with benefits situation.

If you have an anxious attachment style, for example, you may be more likely to feel insecure or anxious when your partner is ignoring you.

Example communication tips:

You: “I’ve been reflecting on my attachment style and triggers, and I think that might be playing a role in how I’m feeling. Can we talk about it?”

Questions to ask:

What do you think about attachment styles, and how do you think they impact relationships?

Can you share your own attachment style with me?

How can we work together to support each other’s attachment needs in this relationship?

Also read: How to keep your fwb interested? (10 Steps and tips to follow)

3. Consider the long-term impact of the relationship.

Friends with benefits relationships can be fun and exciting, but it’s important to consider the long-term impact on your emotional wellbeing.

If your partner is ignoring you, it may be a sign that this relationship isn’t meeting your needs in the long run.

Example communication tips:

You: “I’m starting to feel like this relationship isn’t meeting my needs in the long run. Can we discuss our long-term goals and whether we’re on the same page?”

Questions to ask:

What are your long-term goals for this relationship?

Do you think this relationship is meeting your emotional needs in the long run?

How can we work together to create a relationship that supports both of our long-term goals?

4. Consider the potential underlying reasons for the ignoring.

If your friend with benefits is ignoring you, there may be underlying reasons that have nothing to do with you.

They could be dealing with personal issues, family problems, or work stress that is taking up their attention.

Example communication tips:

You: “I noticed that you’ve been ignoring me lately. Is everything okay? Can I help in any way?”

Questions to ask:

Do you think there could be underlying reasons why they’re ignoring you?

How can you support them if they’re going through a tough time?

What boundaries do you need to set to take care of yourself while still being there for them?

Also read: Why my fwb is confusing me? (20+ reasons, signs, tips to handle the situation)

5. Don’t be afraid to walk away if needed:

Sometimes, no matter how much you care about someone or how much fun you have together, the best thing you can do is walk away.

If you find that your friends with benefits is consistently ignoring you and you’ve tried to communicate and understand why, it may be time to cut ties.

It’s important to prioritize your own well-being and mental health.

Example communication tips:

You: “I’ve noticed that you’ve been ignoring me lately and I’ve tried to talk to you about it, but I’m not getting any answers. I care about you, but I think it’s best if we go our separate ways.”

Questions to ask:

How can I prioritize my well-being in this situation?

What can I do to make sure I’m making the right decision?

How can I communicate my decision in a respectful way?

How can I make sure I don’t fall back into this type of relationship in the future?

6. Give them space and time to come back around if they wish:

If you’ve tried to communicate with your friends with benefits and they are not responsive, it may be best to give them some space and time to sort out their feelings.

Sometimes people need time to reflect on their own emotions and thoughts before they can communicate effectively.

Example communication tips:

You: “I’ve noticed that you’ve been distant lately and I don’t want to push you, but I care about you and want to make sure we’re on the same page. I’m here for you if you want to talk, but I understand if you need some space.”

Questions to ask:

How can I respect their need for space while also maintaining my own boundaries?

How long should I give them before reaching out again?

How can I make sure I’m not putting too much pressure on them to come back around?

How can I take care of my own emotions during this time?

Also read: Do fwb usually come back? (20 Reasons your fwb might keep coming back)

7. Reach out to them and ask what’s wrong:

Sometimes the best way to address the issue of being ignored is to directly ask your friends with benefits what’s going on.

It’s important to approach the conversation with curiosity and an open mind, rather than blame or accusations.

Example communication tips:

You: “I’ve noticed that you’ve been ignoring me lately and I want to check in and see if everything is okay. Is there something you want to talk about or work through?”

Questions to ask:

How can I approach this conversation with curiosity and openness?

How can I make sure I’m not coming across as blaming or accusing?

How can I be prepared for a range of responses, including ones I may not want to hear?

How can I create a safe space for them to share their thoughts and feelings?

8. Don’t take it personally, it may not be about you:

When someone is ignoring you, it’s easy to take it personally and assume that you did something wrong.

However, it’s important to remember that their behavior may not be a reflection of you, but rather their own issues or emotions.

Example communication tips:

You: “I’ve noticed that you’ve been ignoring me lately and I’m feeling really hurt and confused. Can you help me understand what’s going on?”

Perhaps, he/she might say: “It’s not about you, I’ve just been dealing with some personal issues and needed some space.”

Questions to ask:

How can I shift my perspective to not take their behavior personally?

How can I support them through their personal issues while also prioritizing my own well-being?

How can I communicate my own feelings in a way that doesn’t place blame on them?

How can I set boundaries moving forward to make sure I’m not negatively affected by their behavior?

Also read: 50 Signs your fwb doesn’t like you

9. Consider it an opportunity to focus on yourself and your own goals:

One positive aspect of being ignored by your FWB is that it gives you an opportunity to focus on yourself and your own goals. Instead of constantly worrying about why your FWB is not responding, take the time to invest in yourself.

Focus on your hobbies, your work, your friends, and your personal growth. Use this as an opportunity to become the best version of yourself, and to work on your own goals and aspirations.

Examples:

Join a new fitness class or try a new hobby that you’ve been interested in.

Spend time with your friends and family and strengthen those relationships.

Focus on your career or educational goals.

Take some time for self-care, whether that means taking a relaxing bath, meditating, or treating yourself to something you enjoy.

Questions to consider asking:

“What are some goals or aspirations that I’ve been putting on the back burner that I can focus on now?”

“How can I make the most of this situation and turn it into a positive experience for myself?”

“What are some ways I can practice self-care and take care of myself during this time?”

“What are some new experiences or hobbies I’ve been interested in trying but haven’t had the time for?”

10. Offer to be a listening ear if they ever need to talk:

Even if your FWB is ignoring you, it’s important to show that you are still there for them as a friend.

Let them know that you are willing to listen if they ever need to talk, even if it’s not related to your FWB relationship.

By showing empathy and compassion, you can maintain a positive and supportive dynamic, even if the romantic aspect of your relationship is on hold.

Examples:

“I know we haven’t been talking much lately, but I want you to know that I’m here for you if you ever need someone to talk to.”

“Even though we’re not as close as we used to be, I still value our friendship and I want to be there for you if you need me.”

“I know we’ve had some issues in our relationship, but I still care about you and want to support you however I can.”

Questions to consider asking:

“What are some ways I can support you as a friend, even if we’re not in a romantic relationship right now?”

“Is there anything you want to talk about or share with me?”

“How can I be there for you during this time?”

Also read: How to text friends with benefits? (20 tips and 50+ fwb text messages with examples)

11. Think positively and believe that it will all work out in the end:

Finally, it’s important to maintain a positive attitude and believe that everything will work out in the end.

While it’s natural to feel anxious or upset when someone you care about is ignoring you, it’s important to trust in the strength of your relationship and your ability to work through any issues that arise.

By focusing on the positive aspects of your relationship and maintaining a hopeful outlook, you can weather any storm that comes your way.

Examples:

“I’m confident that we’ll be able to work through this and come out stronger in the end.”

“I trust that our relationship is strong enough to withstand any challenges we face.”

“Even though things are tough right now, I believe that we have a bright future together.”

Questions to consider asking:

“What are some positive aspects of our relationship that we can focus on during this difficult time?”

“What are some things we can do to strengthen our relationship and overcome any challenges we’re facing?”

“How can we maintain a positive outlook and work towards a better future together?”

10 Tips on what to do when your friends with benefits ignores you

These are few tips on what to do when your fwb ignores you:

1. Consider attachment styles

Consider the impact of attachment styles on your FWB relationship. If you have an anxious attachment style, you may be more likely to feel hurt and rejected when your FWB ignores you. 

Take time to reflect on your attachment style and how it may be impacting your emotional response to the situation.

2. Avoid assumptions

Recognize that your FWB may be dealing with their own issues and struggles that have nothing to do with you. Avoid making assumptions about their motivations or intentions without talking to them directly.

3. Communicate clearly

Pay attention to the language and communication style that you use when talking to your FWB. 

Are you being clear and direct in your communication, or are you using passive-aggressive language?

Consider seeking guidance from a therapist or mental health professional on how to communicate more effectively in your relationship.

Also read: Do guys care about their FWB? (As per research study)

4. Reevaluate needs

Take time to reflect on your own needs and desires in the relationship.

Are you getting what you want out of the relationship, or are you settling for less because you don’t want to be alone?

Use this experience as an opportunity to reevaluate what you want and need in a relationship.

5. Avoid social media

Avoid using social media as a way to communicate with your FWB. This can lead to misunderstandings and exacerbate feelings of hurt and rejection.

6. Align with goals

Consider whether your FWB relationship aligns with your long-term goals and values.

Is this relationship ultimately serving you, or is it holding you back from achieving your goals and finding deeper fulfillment?

7. Practice self-care

Practice self-compassion and self-care. This can involve engaging in activities that bring you joy, spending time with loved ones, or seeking support from a therapist or mental health professional.

Also read: Do friends with benefits talk everyday?

8. Seek support

Recognize that you are not alone in your experience.

Many people struggle with the complexities of FWB relationships, and seeking support from others can be a valuable way to navigate this situation.

9. Embrace growth

Embrace the possibility of change and growth. Sometimes, difficult experiences can lead to personal growth and increased resilience.

Final thoughts:

In conclusion, there could be several reasons for this behavior. Perhaps the other person is busy with work or other commitments, or maybe they’re dealing with personal issues that they don’t feel comfortable discussing with you.

Alternatively, it could be a sign that they’re not as invested in the relationship as you are and are trying to distance themselves.

Whatever the reason, it’s important to approach the situation with an open mind and a willingness to communicate in order to resolve the issue.

Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and care, both in and outside of romantic relationships.

Don’t settle for less than what you want and need in a relationship, and don’t be afraid to set boundaries and communicate your needs clearly.

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