75+ Funny valentines day quotes for singles, friends and couples (sarcastic edition -2024)

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By: Naveen B

Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to show your special someone how much you care.

Whether you are celebrating with your partner, friends or just yourself, there is no better way to express your love than with some funny Valentines Day quotes.

From clever puns to heartfelt messages, these funny Valentine’s Day quotes will make your significant other, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, or single friends smile.

So, if you are looking for a way to make your Valentine’s Day extra special this year, look no further than these funny Valentine’s Day quotes!


75+ Funny valentines day quotes

The following is a list of funny valentines day quotes:

1. “Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.”

2. “Relationships are like fat people, most of them don’t work out.” – Happy valentines day

3. “If I had a dollar for every time I thought of you, I’d be in the poor house”

4. “Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably not a good idea.”

5. “Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.” – Happy valentine’s day.

6. “The worst relationships are the ones you never saw coming.”

7. “Love is like a roller coaster. It has its ups and downs, but it’s your choice to scream or enjoy the ride.”

8. “A successful relationship requires falling in love multiple times, but always with the same person.”

9. “The best way to mend a broken heart is time and girlfriends.”

10. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Also read: 50+ Sarcastic valentines day quotes funny edition


Funny anti valentines day quotes for singles

Here is a list of some Funny single valentines day quotes for anti-valentine’s day:

1. “I’m not a fan of this Hallmark holiday, but I am a fan of pizza and wine.”

2. “Why buy someone a box of chocolates when you can buy yourself a whole cake?”

3. “I don’t need a significant other to be happy, I have Netflix and ice cream.”

4. “I’m not single, I’m just romantically challenged.”

5. “I don’t need a lover, I have my cat and my bed.”

6. “Why settle for one person when you can have multiple Netflix accounts?”

7. “I’m not celebrating this holiday, I’m just celebrating the end of winter.”

8. “I don’t need a date, I have my dog and a good book.”

9. “Why be in a relationship when you can be in a long-term relationship with your couch?”

10. “I don’t need a partner, I have my bank account and my freedom.”

11. “I don’t need a bouquet of flowers, I have my garden and my green thumb.”

12. “I’m not alone, I have my friends and my phone.”

13. “I don’t need a heart-shaped box of chocolates, I have my own box of chocolates and my own heart.”

14. “I don’t need a love story, I have my own adventure.”

15. “I don’t need a romantic dinner, I have my own kitchen and my own cooking skills.”

Also read: 100+ Valentines day quotes for singles (single ladies, men, moms, dads) funny to inspiring


Funny valentines day quotes for friends

These are a few Funny quotes about valentines day for friends:

1. “Roses are red, violets are blue, let’s be friends forever, and make each other’s day less blue.”

2. “The only thing better than having you as a friend, is having you as my best friend.” -Happy valentine’s day

3. “You’re the peanut butter to my jelly, the mac to my cheese, the best friend a person could ask for.” – Happy valentine’s day my bestest friend

4. “I may not have a significant other, but I have a significant friend, and that’s all that matters.” -Happy valentine’s day

5. “Friendship is like a good wine, it only gets better with age, here’s to many more years of friendship.”

6. “Valentine’s Day is a reminder that love comes in all forms, including the love between friends.”

7. “I don’t need a romantic Valentine’s Day, I have you as my best friend and that’s all I need.”

8. “Being friends with you is like having a permanent Valentine’s Day.”

9. “I love you more than chocolate and that’s saying a lot.” -Happy valentine’s day

10. “Valentine’s Day is just another excuse to tell you how much I appreciate our friendship.”

Also read: 100+ Valentines day quotes for friends and best friends


Valentines day quotes for him funny

Here is a list of Funny valentines day quotes for him or her:

1. “I’m like a rubik’s cube; the harder you play with me the harder I get.”

2. “You must be a magician, because every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.”

3. “I know why they call it a beaver, because I’m dying for some wood.”

4. “I must be a snowflake, because I’ve fallen for you.”

5. “I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.”

6. “Are you a campfire? Because you are hot and I want to be near you.”

7. “Are you a bank loan? Because you got my interest.”

8. “If you were a vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber.”

9. “If you were a fruit you’d be a fineapple.”

10. “Are you a dictionary? ’cause you add meaning to my life.”

11. “If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable.”

12. “If you were a flower, you’d be a damnnn-delion.”

13. “Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.”

14. “You must be a snickers bar, because you satisfy me.”

15. “If you were an element, you’d be francium, because you’re the most attractive.”

Also read: 70+ Dirty valentine’s day quotes (naughty, nasty, sexy and horny edition)

Sarcastic and Funny valentine’s day quotes

Here is a list of Sarcastic Valentine’s day quotes funny edition:

1. “Love is blind. But marriage is an eye-opener.” 

2. “Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end.” 

3. “Love is like a game of chess: One false move and you’re mated.” 

4. “Love is like a butterfly: It goes where it pleases and it pleases wherever it goes.” 

5. “True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.”

6. “Being single is like being on a diet, it’s hard at first but eventually you learn to love it.”

7. “Love is like a traffic jam, it can be frustrating but eventually you get where you’re going.”

8. “Love is like a game of musical chairs, you just hope you’re sitting in the right one when the music stops.”

9. “The course of true love never did run smooth.” 

10. “Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.”

Also read: 150+ Sad valentines day quotes (for singles and broken heart couples)


Happy Funny valentines day quotes for married couples (for husband or wife)

These are a few Happy Funny valentine day quotes for husband or wife:

1. Roses are red, violets are blue, I never wanted to be in love, until I met you.

2. You are my favorite work of art. Happy Valentine’s Day! 

3. I’m so lucky to have you by my side. Happy Valentine’s Day! 

4. Love is too weak a word for what I feel for you. 

5. Being with you is the only way I could have a full and happy life. 

6. I love you more and more each day.

7. “You’re the peanut butter to my jelly, the mac to my cheese, the ketchup to my fries.”

8. “I love you more than all the memes on the internet combined.”

9. “You’re my favorite person to laugh with, cry with, and everything in between.”

10. “Being married to you is like having a permanent sidekick.” -Happy valentine’s day

Also read: 100 Long distance valentine’s day quotes for boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife or loved ones

Valentine’s day funny quotes for boyfriend or girlfriend (long distance or live-in relationship edition)

Here is a list of some funny valentines quotes for boyfriend or girlfriend:

1. “I knew I was in love with you when I couldn’t stop thinking about you, even when I was eating pizza.”

2. “You’re my everything, my reason to wake up in the morning and my reason to go to sleep at night.”

3. “I love you more than all the coffee in the world, and that’s saying a lot.”

4. “Together, we’re like a three-legged race, we can’t go anywhere without each other.”

5. “I’m so lucky to have you as my partner in crime, and in life.”

6. “You’re my favorite person to be silly with, to dance with, and to love.”

7. “I love you more than all the sushi in Japan, and that’s a lot of sushi.”

8. “Being married to you is like having a permanent partner in adventure.”

9. “You’re the yin to my yang, the chocolate to my peanut butter, and the karaoke to my singing.”

10. “I couldn’t imagine my life without you, you’re my everything, my forever.”

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Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry. His expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few. To be updated with his latest work, connect with him by following his social media accounts.

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