20 Signs he only wants to be friends with benefits

When it comes to dating and relationships, it’s important to know what you want and what you’re looking for.

Whether you’re looking for a serious commitment or just a casual fling, it’s important to be clear about your intentions and to communicate them with your partner.

However, sometimes it can be difficult to know where you stand with someone, especially if you’re not sure what they’re looking for.

One common situation is when someone only wants to be friends with benefits.

While there’s nothing inherently wrong with a casual hookup or friends with benefits arrangement, it’s important to be aware of the signs that this is all your partner wants.

In this blog post, we’ll be discussing 20 signs he only wants to be friends with benefits. By understanding these signs, you can avoid wasting your time and emotional energy on a relationship that isn’t going anywhere.

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20 Signs he only wants to be friends with benefits

The following are some hidden and confusing signs he only wants to be friends with benefits:

1. He only texts you for sexual favors or to “hook up.”

One of the biggest signs that a guy only wants to be friends with benefits is if he only contacts you for sex.

This means that he is not interested in getting to know you on a deeper level or building a meaningful relationship.

Instead, he sees you as someone to fulfill his sexual desires, and that is all.

Examples:

He only texts you late at night, asking if you’re free to come over.

He never asks about your day or how you’re feeling, only making suggestive comments.

He sends you explicit photos or messages without any context or conversation.

He only contacts you when he’s feeling horny, and then disappears for days or weeks.

He doesn’t engage in any non-sexual conversation, always steering the topic back to sex.

2. He avoids going out in public with you or introducing you to his friends.

Another sign he only wants a friends with benefits relationship is if he avoids going out in public with you or introducing you to his friends.

This indicates that he doesn’t want to be seen with you in public or integrate you into his social circle.

Instead, he wants to keep your relationship private and limited to just the two of you.

Examples:

He only wants to meet up at his place or yours, and never suggests going out somewhere.

He avoids holding hands or any public displays of affection.

He doesn’t invite you to any social events or parties he attends.

He always wants to keep your interactions in private, away from prying eyes.

Also read: 25 Hidden signs your fwb is catching feelings for you

3. He constantly talks about other women or makes comments about their physical appearance in front of you.

If a guy only wants a friends with benefits relationship, he may constantly talk about other women or make comments about their physical appearance in front of you.

This shows that he is not interested in a meaningful connection with you, and instead is using you for sex while keeping his options open with other women.

Examples:

He talks about other women he finds attractive, either in real life or on social media.

He comments on other women’s bodies or appearance, even when it’s not relevant to the conversation.

He compares you to other women in a way that makes you feel insecure or uncomfortable.

He talks about past sexual encounters with other women in front of you.

He makes jokes or crude comments about women in general.

4. He never talks about his personal life or asks about yours.

If a guy only wants a friends with benefits relationship, he may never talk about his personal life or ask about yours.

This indicates that he is not interested in getting to know you as a person, and only wants to keep your interactions limited to sex.

Examples:

He never shares any personal stories or details about his life.

He never asks about your interests, hobbies, or goals.

He doesn’t show any curiosity about your life outside of the bedroom.

He never talks about his family, friends, or work life.

He doesn’t seem to care about what’s going on in your life, and only focuses on sexual encounters.

5. He only talks about sex or sexual topics when you’re together.

When a man is only interested in being friends with benefits, he will often steer the conversation towards sexual topics.

This is because he sees you as a sexual object rather than a person with thoughts and feelings. 

He is not interested in getting to know you on a deeper level and is only using you for physical pleasure.

If you find that your conversations always seem to revolve around sex, it is a clear sign that he is not looking for a serious relationship.

Examples:

He sends you explicit messages or photos, even if you have not initiated the conversation.

He always tries to turn innocent conversations into sexual ones.

He never talks about his own feelings or experiences outside of the bedroom.

He seems disinterested or bored when you try to talk about anything other than sex.

6. He avoids any talk of exclusivity or commitment.

One of the main signs he only wants to be friends with benefits is that he avoids any talk of exclusivity or commitment.

He will make it clear that he is not interested in a serious relationship and will not make any promises about the future.

He may even be open about seeing other people and will make it clear that you are not the only person he is seeing.

If you are looking for a committed relationship, it is important to recognize this sign and move on to someone who is interested in the same thing.

Examples:

He says things like “I’m not really looking for anything serious right now” or “I just want to keep things casual.”

He never talks about his future plans or goals, especially if they involve a serious relationship.

He avoids using terms like “boyfriend” or “girlfriend.”

He makes it clear that he is seeing other people or is open to seeing other people.

7. He doesn’t want to celebrate important events or milestones together.

If a man only wants to be friends with benefits, he will avoid any type of emotional intimacy outside of sex.

This includes celebrating important events or milestones together.

He will not want to be a part of your life outside of the bedroom and will not want to share meaningful experiences with you.

If you find that he is not interested in celebrating birthdays, holidays, or other important events together, it is a clear sign that he is not interested in a serious relationship.

Examples:

He doesn’t want to go out for your birthday or buy you a gift.

He doesn’t want to spend holidays together or participate in any holiday traditions.

He doesn’t want to celebrate any milestones in your relationship, like anniversaries or firsts (e.g. first time you met, first date, etc.).

He never mentions important events or milestones in his own life.

He seems disinterested or bored when you bring up important events or milestones.

8. He avoids any physical or emotional intimacy outside of sex.

One of the main differences between a friends with benefits relationship and a serious relationship is the level of physical and emotional intimacy involved.

If a man only wants to be friends with benefits, he will avoid any type of intimacy outside of sex. 

This includes holding hands, cuddling, or having deep conversations about your feelings or emotions.

He is only interested in the physical pleasure that sex provides and is not interested in building an emotional connection.

Examples:

He never holds your hand or engages in any type of physical touch outside of sexual activity.

He avoids any conversations that involve deep emotions or feelings.

He never asks about your day or shows any interest in your life outside of the bedroom.

He doesn’t want to spend any time together that doesn’t involve sex.

He is quick to leave after sex and doesn’t want to engage in any post-sexual intimacy.

9. He has multiple “friends with benefits” and openly talks about them in front of you.

If a man is only interested in being friends with benefits, he will likely have multiple sexual partners at the same time.

He may even be open about seeing other people and will not be concerned about how it makes you feel.

This is a clear sign that he is not interested in a serious relationship and is only interested in using you for physical pleasure.

Examples:

He talks about his other sexual partners or flings in front of you.

He seems more interested in talking about his other sexual partners than he is in spending time with you.

He is open about seeing other people and doesn’t try to hide it from you.

He doesn’t seem concerned about how his behavior makes you feel.

10. He shows no concern for your sexual health and doesn’t use protection during sexual activity.

If your FWB partner is not showing any concern for your sexual health and is not using protection during sexual activity, this is a clear sign that he only wants a casual physical relationship with you.

A Serious and committed partner should prioritize their partner’s well-being and make sure that both parties are protected from sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancies.

If your partner is not taking these necessary precautions, it may be time to re-evaluate your arrangement.

Examples:

He refuses to use condoms during sexual activity and doesn’t take any steps to prevent STIs.

He doesn’t want to discuss STIs or sexual health and dismisses any concerns you may have.

He avoids the topic of protection altogether and assumes that you are okay with not using it.

He never offers to get tested for STIs or encourages you to do so.

He shows a lack of concern for your sexual health and assumes that you will take care of it on your own.

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11. He only wants to communicate through social media or texting, and never wants to talk on the phone or in person.

Communication is a key aspect of any relationship, even a friends with benefits one.

If your partner is only willing to communicate through social media or texting and is reluctant to talk on the phone or in person, it’s a clear indication that he is not interested in building a deeper emotional connection with you.

A genuine partner would be willing to communicate through various means and make an effort to connect with you on a personal level.

Examples:

He never initiates phone calls or video chats and only communicates through social media or texting.

He takes a long time to respond to your messages or ignores them altogether.

He shows little interest in getting to know you on a personal level and only wants to discuss sexual topics.

He avoids any conversations that do not pertain to sex or physical intimacy.

He seems disinterested or bored during conversations that do not involve sexual topics.

12. He doesn’t seem interested in getting to know you as a person.

In a friends with benefits relationship, it’s important to establish a baseline of friendship and mutual respect.

If your partner doesn’t seem interested in getting to know you as a person and only focuses on the physical aspects of the relationship, it’s a clear sign that he only wants a casual physical relationship with you.

A true friends with benefits partner would be willing to invest time and effort into building a deeper emotional connection with you and establishing a genuine friendship.

Examples:

He never asks you personal questions or shows curiosity about your life outside of the relationship.

He never remembers important details about your life, such as your favorite food or movie.

He seems disinterested or bored when you talk about your interests or hobbies.

He avoids any conversations that do not pertain to sex or physical intimacy.

He never wants to engage in activities or hobbies that you enjoy outside of the bedroom.

13. He never talks about the future or makes plans that extend beyond the next hookup.

One of the most significant signs that a guy only wants to be friends with benefits is that he never talks about the future or makes plans beyond the next hookup.

This behavior suggests that he isn’t interested in forming a long-term relationship with you and is only looking for a casual fling.

He may be content with the current arrangement, but he doesn’t see it developing into something more significant.

If you’re looking for something more meaningful, it’s essential to recognize this sign and adjust your expectations accordingly.

For instance, if you ask him about his plans for next month, he may be evasive or dismissive.

He may also avoid making plans for the future, such as a vacation or a weekend getaway, even if it’s something you’ve expressed an interest in.

If this is the case, it’s crucial to communicate your needs and wants in the relationship and decide if you’re both on the same page.

Examples:

You suggest planning a weekend trip together, but he brushes off the idea and changes the subject.

You ask him if he wants to attend a friend’s wedding with you, but he hesitates and doesn’t commit.

You bring up the idea of moving in together, but he becomes distant and avoids the topic.

You suggest meeting each other’s families, but he declines and changes the subject.

You mention wanting to have children someday, but he doesn’t engage in the conversation and seems uninterested.

14. He seems distant or uninterested when you’re not engaging in sexual activity.

If you notice that your guy friend seems distant or uninterested when you’re not engaging in sexual activity, it’s one of the sure signs he only wants to be friends with benefits.

A friends with benefits relationship is typically characterized by a lack of emotional intimacy and a focus on physical pleasure.

If you find that your partner is only interested in being around you when there’s a possibility of sex, it’s time to re-evaluate the relationship and decide if it’s meeting your needs.

Examples:

You suggest watching a movie together, but he declines and suggests something more physical.

You try to engage in a conversation, but he seems uninterested and distracted.

You plan a date that doesn’t involve sex, but he cancels at the last minute.

You try to cuddle or hold hands, but he pulls away or becomes uncomfortable.

You express your desire to spend more time together, but he brushes off your concerns and changes the subject.

15. He doesn’t want to talk about your relationship or define the terms of your arrangement.

This could mean that he’s avoiding the conversation because he doesn’t want to give you the wrong idea or because he doesn’t want to commit to anything more serious.

This lack of communication can be a major red flag, especially if you’re looking for something more serious.

Examples:

Every time you try to bring up the topic of your relationship, he changes the subject or avoids the conversation altogether.

He hasn’t discussed the terms of your arrangement or what you’re both looking for in this type of relationship.

He doesn’t ask you about your feelings or what you want out of the relationship.

When you bring up the idea of being exclusive or having a more serious relationship, he gets uncomfortable or defensive.

He avoids any discussions about the future of your relationship or where it’s headed.

16. He doesn’t make an effort to impress you or make you feel special.

Another sign that he only wants a friends with benefits relationship is that he doesn’t make an effort to make you feel special.

When a guy is really into you, he’ll go out of his way to make you feel good and to show you that he’s interested in more than just a physical relationship.

If he’s not doing these things, then it’s likely that he’s not looking for anything more than a casual hookup.

Examples:

He never brings you small gifts or surprises to show that he’s thinking of you.

He doesn’t compliment you or make you feel good about yourself.

He doesn’t plan any special dates or outings for the two of you.

He doesn’t text or call you just to chat or see how you’re doing.

He only contacts you when he wants to hook up.

17. He doesn’t show any interest in meeting your family or friends.

This is one of the obvious signs he only wants a friends with benefits relationship is that he doesn’t show any interest in meeting your family or friends.

If he’s not interested in getting to know the people who are important to you, then it’s a good indication that he’s not interested in anything serious with you.

Examples:

He’s never asked to meet your family or friends.

He doesn’t show any interest in hearing about your social life or the people you spend time with.

He doesn’t ask you about your family or friends or show any concern for their well-being.

18. He doesn’t introduce you to his family or mention you to his friends.

Another sign that he only wants a friends with benefits relationship is that he doesn’t introduce you to his family or mention you to his friends.

If he’s not interested in integrating you into his social life, then it’s a good indication that he’s not looking for anything more than a casual hookup.

Examples:

He’s never mentioned you to his family or friends.

He doesn’t invite you to any social events or gatherings with his friends.

He doesn’t make an effort to include you in his social life.

He doesn’t want to be seen in public with you.

19. He seems to prioritize his own needs over yours and doesn’t make an effort to meet your needs or desires.

One of the sure signs he only wants a friends with benefits relationship is that he seems to prioritize his own needs over yours and doesn’t make an effort to meet your needs or desires.

In a healthy relationship, both partners should be focused on meeting each other’s needs and making each other happy.

If he’s not doing this, then it’s a good indication that he’s not interested in anything more than a casual hookup.

Examples:

He only contacts you when he wants to hook up, without regard for your schedule or availability.

He doesn’t take your feelings or desires into account when making plans

He doesn’t show any interest in your life outside of your physical relationship.

He doesn’t make an effort to learn about your interests or hobbies.

20. He gets defensive or angry when you bring up the topic of a relationship or commitment.

If he’s not interested in anything serious with you, then he’s likely to get uncomfortable or upset when you try to talk about taking your relationship to the next level.

This is a clear indication that he’s not interested in anything more than a casual hookup.

Examples:

He becomes defensive or changes the subject when you bring up the topic of your relationship.

He gets angry or upset when you try to talk about being exclusive or having a more serious commitment.

He accuses you of being clingy or needy when you express your feelings or desires.

He avoids you altogether after you bring up the topic of commitment or a serious relationship.

He makes it clear that he’s not looking for anything serious or committed with you.

Final thoughts:

In conclusion, identifying the signs that someone only wants a friends with benefits relationship can save you a lot of time and heartache in the long run.

It’s important to remember that there’s nothing inherently wrong with a casual hookup or friends with benefits arrangement, as long as both parties are on the same page and are happy with the situation.

However, if you’re looking for something more serious or committed, it’s important to be aware of these signs and to communicate your desires and expectations with your partner.

Don’t settle for less than what you want and deserve in a relationship, and always prioritize your own needs and well-being.

Remember that relationships should be based on mutual respect, trust, and communication.

If you’re not getting these things from your partner, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship and move on to find someone who can give you what you need and want.

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