Your complete guide to Friends with benefits with an Ex

By: Naveen B

As a human, it’s only natural to crave physical intimacy and emotional connection with another person.

Sometimes, this desire can lead to a “friends with benefits” (FWB) arrangement, where two people engage in a sexual relationship without any romantic commitment.

However, what happens when the FWB in question is with an ex-partner? Is it a good idea to be friends with benefits with an ex?

The answer to that question is not so simple, as it depends on a variety of factors unique to each individual situation. In this blog post, we will explore the motivations behind why an ex-partner may want to pursue a FWB relationship with their former flame.

We will also examine the potential risks and benefits of engaging in such a relationship, and provide tips and examples for navigating this potentially tricky situation.

If you find yourself wondering if your ex FWB misses you or if it’s possible to maintain a platonic relationship with benefits, this article is for you.

We will delve into the psychological factors that may be driving your ex’s desire to maintain this type of arrangement with you, and offer insights into how to handle it in a way that is healthy and respectful for all parties involved.

So, whether you’re considering reigniting a physical relationship with an ex or trying to make sense of your current FWB arrangement, keep reading to learn more about the complex world of friends with benefits with an ex.

Your complete guide to be Friends with benefits with an ex

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Is friends with benefits a good idea with an ex?

Is being friends with benefits with your ex bad? Firstly, it is important for you to consider the reasons for ending the previous fwb relationship with him or her.

If the breakup was amicable and both of you have clearly communicated your desire to maintain a friendship without any expectations of getting back together, then a friends with benefits arrangement may be a good option.

However, if the breakup was emotionally charged and either of you still harbors feelings of resentment or hope for reconciliation, a friends with benefits relationship can lead to confusion, hurt feelings, and further complications.

It is crucial to be honest with yourself and your ex about your intentions and emotional state.

Furthermore, entering into a friends with benefits relationship with an ex requires a high level of emotional maturity and clear communication.

It is important to establish boundaries and expectations upfront to avoid misunderstandings or feelings of being used.

It is also essential to be aware of the potential consequences, such as jealousy, insecurity, and the risk of developing feelings again.

In conclusion, while engaging in a friends with benefits relationship with an ex may seem appealing in theory, it is a complex and potentially challenging situation that requires careful consideration, honesty, and clear communication.

It is important to assess the emotional state of both parties and establish boundaries to avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

Ultimately, the decision to pursue a friends with benefits relationship with an ex should be made with careful consideration and an understanding of the potential risks involved.

Why would an ex want to be friends with benefits?

One reason an ex may be interested in a friends with benefits relationship again is the comfort, familiarity and satisfaction that comes with an established connection.

Out of all the fwb relations they had, you might be the best of them. So, he or she may desire the same physical intimacy without the emotional commitment of a romantic relationship.

Another reason could be the convenience and practicality of the arrangement. They may not be ready or interested in pursuing a committed relationship at the moment but still desire sexual gratification without the effort of seeking out new partners.

It is also possible that an ex may feel a sense of regret over the ending of the previous relationship.

Engaging in a friends with benefits relationship again may provide an opportunity to reconnect and potentially rekindle the romance.

Another reason an ex may want to be friends with benefits is for validation and attention.

If the breakup was difficult and there are lingering feelings of rejection or inadequacy, a friends with benefits arrangement can provide a sense of closeness and affirmation without the pressure of a traditional relationship.

However, it is important to note that a desire for a friends with benefits relationship with an ex can also stem from unhealthy motivations, such as a desire for control or a fear of being alone.

Additionally, some people may see a friends with benefits relationship as a way to gradually transition back into a romantic relationship.

By maintaining a physical connection and emotional closeness, they may hope to rebuild the intimacy and trust necessary for a successful romantic relationship.

However, it is important to note that these reasons are not mutually exclusive and that there may be other motivations for wanting a friends with benefits relationship with an ex.

It is also essential to consider the potential emotional risks and complications that can arise from this type of arrangement.

Also read: Why does my fwb keeps coming back? (meaning, 25 reasons, tips with examples to deal with the situation)

Does my ex fwb miss me?

It is difficult to say for certain whether or not your ex FWB misses you. Everyone copes with breakups in different ways, and it is possible that your ex FWB is not missing you at all.

That being said, it is also possible that they are experiencing some degree of longing or sadness as a result of the breakup. Friends with benefits relationships can be intense and often leave people feeling vulnerable, so it would not be unusual for someone to miss their FWB after a breakup. 

The best way to determine whether or not your ex FWB is missing you is to take the time to reflect on your relationship and the breakup.

Consider the feelings and emotions that your ex FWB likely experienced during your relationship and in the aftermath of the breakup.

If you think that they may be missing you, it can be helpful to reach out to them and check in with them. This could be a simple text message or phone call, and it could give you some insight into how your ex FWB is feeling. 

Ultimately, the only way to know for sure whether or not your ex friends with benefits misses you is to have an open and honest conversation with them. Your best bet is to take the time to reflect on your relationship and the breakup and then reach out to your ex

Can exes be friends with benefits?

Yes, exes can be friends with benefits and depend on the unique dynamics of the relationship and the individuals involved. This type of relationship can be beneficial for both parties, especially if the former couple had a good relationship before the breakup.

The first step is to make sure both parties are ready to move on and that they don’t still have feelings for each other. If there is still some lingering emotion, then this isn’t a good idea as it could lead to more complicated issues. 

Once both parties have agreed to the arrangement, it can be a great way to stay close without the complications of a relationship.

It can help to strengthen the friendship between the two individuals, as they can still spend time together and have fun.

Friends with benefits relationship with an ex can be problematic, as it can blur the lines between friendship, romance, and sexual desire.

It may be difficult to establish clear boundaries and maintain a healthy level of emotional detachment, particularly if one or both parties still have feelings for each other.

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Signs your ex wants to be friends with benefits?

Here are some subtle signs your ex wants to be friends with benefits:

1. They initiate contact frequently: If your ex is always reaching out to you, whether it’s through text, social media, or in person, it may be a sign that they want to maintain a connection with you.

2. They bring up sexual topics: If your ex often brings up sexual topics in your conversations or makes suggestive comments, they may be hinting at their interest in a friends with benefits relationship.

3. They flirt with you: Flirting is a common way to indicate sexual interest, so if your ex is flirting with you, it could be a sign that they want more than just a friendship.

4. They compliment you physically: If your ex frequently compliments your appearance or physical attributes, they may be trying to signal their attraction to you.

5. They try to make plans with you alone: If your ex is always trying to spend time with you alone, it could be a sign that they want to pursue a physical relationship.

6. They are touchy-feely: If your ex touches you in a way that goes beyond normal friendly behavior, such as lingering hugs or light touches on your arm, it could be a sign that they are interested in a physical relationship.

7. They invite you to their place: If your ex invites you over to their place, especially at night, it could be a sign that they are hoping for something more than just hanging out.

8. They talk about their sexual experiences: If your ex talks about their sexual experiences with you or asks about yours, it could be a sign that they are interested in pursuing a physical relationship.

9. They are jealous of your other partners: If your ex gets jealous or upset when you mention other partners or dates, it could be a sign that they want to be more than just friends.

10. They make advances towards you: If your ex makes physical advances towards you, such as kissing or touching you inappropriately, it is a clear indication that they want a physical relationship with you.

Also read: My ex wants to be friends with benefits: 20 reasons and tips to handle the situation

Should I ask my ex to be friends with benefits?

Firstly, it is important to consider why you want to be friends with benefits with your ex. Are you hoping to rekindle your romantic relationship, or do you just miss the physical aspect of your relationship? It is important to be honest with yourself about your intentions and motivations.

Secondly, it is crucial to consider your ex’s feelings and intentions. Do they want to be friends with benefits, or are they hoping for something more? If your ex is not interested in this type of arrangement, it could lead to hurt feelings and further complications.

Thirdly, it is important to consider the potential risks and drawbacks of a friends with benefits relationship with your ex. This type of relationship can be emotionally complex and may lead to feelings of jealousy, hurt, or confusion.

Here are some questions to consider before asking your ex to be friends with benefits with you:

1. How do you feel about the idea of a friends with benefits relationship with your ex? Are you open to it, or do you have reservations or concerns about it?

2. What were the reasons for your breakup? Are those issues likely to resurface in a friends with benefits relationship, and how would you deal with them?

3. How do you think your ex would respond to your request? Are they likely to be open to the idea, or would it make things awkward or uncomfortable between you?

4. Are you both on the same page regarding the expectations and boundaries of a friends with benefits relationship? Have you discussed things like exclusivity, communication, and emotional involvement?

5. Are you prepared for the possibility that a friends with benefits relationship with your ex could complicate things emotionally and potentially make it harder to move on?

What does it mean when your ex wants to be friends with benefits?

When your ex wants to be friends with benefits with you again, it typically means that they are interested in pursuing a physical relationship with you without the emotional commitment of a romantic relationship.

It is important to communicate openly and honestly with your ex about your intentions and expectations if you decide to pursue a friends with benefits relationship with them.

You should also consider whether this type of arrangement is what you truly want and if it is emotionally healthy for you.

It is okay to decline their offer and pursue other options that feel more comfortable for you.

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How to ask your ex to be friends with benefits?

How to convince your your ex to be friends with benefits? If you are considering asking your ex to be friends with benefits, Start by expressing your feelings and intentions, and ask your ex how they feel about the idea.

Make sure to have a plan in place for how you will handle any potential emotional complexities that may arise.

It’s important to remember that your ex may not be interested in a friends with benefits relationship, and it’s okay to respect their decision if that’s the case.

Here are some tips to consider to ask your ex to be friends with benefits

1. Be honest and direct: It is important to be upfront with your ex about your intentions and what you want out of the relationship. Make sure to communicate clearly and avoid any confusion or misinterpretation.

2. Choose the right time and place: It is best to have this conversation in person, where you both can talk and listen to each other. Choose a private location where you can have an honest and open conversation without distractions.

3. Be respectful: It is important to be respectful of your ex’s feelings and boundaries. Avoid pressuring them into a friends with benefits relationship if they are not comfortable with it.

4. Discuss expectations and boundaries: Make sure to have a conversation about what you both expect from the relationship and set clear boundaries. Discuss what is and isn’t acceptable behavior, and make sure you are both on the same page.

5. Consider the potential consequences: It is important to consider the potential emotional consequences of a friends with benefits relationship with your ex. Be prepared for the possibility that it may not end well and that it could potentially complicate your relationship further.

How to get your ex fwb back?

If you want to get your ex FWB back, it starts with communicating openly and honestly. Talk to them about what went wrong in the past and make sure that you both understand each other’s feelings.

Once you have done this, you should then try to find common ground and see if there is a way to reconnect. 

If you have both grown and changed since the end of the relationship, you may be able to come to a new understanding and create a new, healthy relationship.

Here are some tips for Friends with benefits with ex to get them back:

1. Start by reaching out to your ex and expressing your interest in seeing them again as friends. Be open and honest about your intentions and let them know that you are interested in a friends with benefits arrangement.

2. Respect your ex’s boundaries and preferences. If they are not interested in pursuing this type of relationship with you, it’s important to accept their decision and move on.

3. Focus on rebuilding a friendship with your ex first. Spend time together in a platonic setting, such as going out for coffee or catching up over the phone. As you rebuild your friendship, you can gauge your ex’s interest in a friends with benefits relationship.

4. Be clear about your expectations and boundaries. Make sure you are both on the same page about what a friends with benefits relationship entails, such as the frequency of your meetings and the level of emotional intimacy involved.

5. Keep communication open and honest. It’s important to communicate openly about your feelings and expectations as the relationship progresses. This will help you both to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings.

6. Be prepared for the possibility that your ex may not want to pursue a friends with benefits relationship with you again. It’s important to respect their decision and move on if this is the case.

How to be friends with benefits with an ex?

how to make friends with benefits work with an ex? Engaging in a friends with benefits (FWB) relationship with an ex-partner can be complicated and potentially emotionally challenging.

It is important to consider the reasons for wanting to pursue such a relationship and to communicate openly and honestly with your ex about your intentions.

Assuming both parties are on the same page and have agreed to pursue a FWB relationship, it is essential to establish clear boundaries and expectations.

Without any rules or boundaries, it can be difficult to maintain a healthy and respectful relationship.

These boundaries could include limiting the frequency of physical encounters, avoiding romantic gestures or behaviors, and being upfront about any emotional attachment that may arise.

Ultimately, the key to making a FWB relationship with an ex work is communication, honesty, and mutual respect.

It is important to regularly check in with your ex to ensure that both parties are still comfortable with the arrangement and to address any concerns or issues that may arise.

Additionally, it may be helpful to maintain some distance from your ex outside of the FWB relationship to prevent confusion or emotional complications.

How to make your ex fwb jealous?

Here are some tips to make your ex fwb jealous:

1. Remind him of good times you had together:

If you had a good relationship with your ex-FWB, then remind him of the good times you both shared.

Talk about the funny moments, the trips you took together, and the inside jokes you shared.

You can also post old photos of you both on social media to show him what he is missing.

2. Show off your new life:

If you have moved on since your breakup, show off your new life and the exciting things you are doing.

Post pictures of your new adventures, your new hobbies, and any new friends you have made. Make sure your ex-FWB sees these posts so he knows you are doing just fine without him.

3. Ignore him or her:

One of the best ways to make someone jealous is to show them that you don’t care about them anymore. Ignore his calls, texts, and social media posts.

If you see him out at a bar or club, try to avoid him. Pretending he doesn’t exist will make him realize that you have moved on and he can’t get you back.

4. Flirt with someone else in front of them:

If your ex-FWB happens to be in the same place as you, try flirting with someone else.

This will make him jealous and make him realize that he has lost you and that there is no chance of getting you back.

5. Avoid talking about your relationship:

Make sure you don’t talk about your relationship with your ex-FWB.

If he brings it up, try to stay positive and keep the conversation short. Don’t give him anything to cling on to, or else he will think that you still want to get back together.

How to make your ex fwb miss you?

1. First, it is important to consider the past relationship you had with your ex FWB. Think about what he or she generally enjoyed doing and what made them happy.

Take note of the things that made the relationship special and think of ways to recreate those experiences. 

2. Try to find activities that you both enjoy doing and make plans to do them together.

Showing your ex FWB that you still care and want to spend time with them is a great way to make them miss you.

It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate, it can be as simple as taking a walk together or going to a movie. 

3. Take the initiative to stay in touch with your ex FWB and be open about your feelings.

Let them know that you still care and are thinking of them. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and express your feelings.

If your ex FWB is a person who appreciates honesty, then this might be the perfect way to make them miss you. 

4. Finally, it is important to remember to give your ex space. Don’t be too clingy or expect too much from your ex.

Let them know that you are available when they need you and give them the freedom to come to you.

By doing this, you will show them that you still care and that you respect their autonomy.

Why do I miss my ex fwb?

It’s common to miss someone after a relationship has ended, even if it was a casual or friends with benefits arrangement. Our brains are wired to form attachments, and it can take time to adjust to the loss of that connection.

Some reasons why you may be missing your ex FWB could include:

1. Emotional connection: Even if the relationship was casual, it’s possible that you formed an emotional connection with your ex FWB. Losing that connection can be difficult and may leave you feeling a sense of loss or loneliness.

2. Physical attraction: If you had a physical relationship with your ex FWB, you may be missing the intimacy and connection that came with it.

3. Nostalgia: It’s possible that you are remembering the positive aspects of the relationship and feeling nostalgic for those times.

4. Fear of being alone: If you’re not used to being single or haven’t found someone else to fill that void yet, you may be missing the comfort and familiarity of your ex FWB.

5. Shared experiences: If you and your ex FWB shared a lot of experiences together, such as travel or hobbies, you may miss the companionship and memories associated with those activities.

Pros and cons of friends with benefits with your ex?

While friends with benefits relationships can be appealing for their lack of commitment, engaging in this type of relationship with an ex can come with both pros and cons. Here are some things to consider:

Pros:

1. Familiarity: Since you have already been intimate with your ex, there is a level of familiarity and comfort that can make it easier to engage in a friends with benefits relationship.

2. No pressure: With no commitment involved, you can enjoy a physical relationship with your ex without feeling pressure to make it more serious.

3. Convenience: Since you already know each other, it can be more convenient to engage in a friends with benefits relationship than to try to meet new people.

4. Shared history: You and your ex may have a lot of shared history and experiences, which can make the physical relationship feel more meaningful.

5. Emotional connection: If you and your ex still have an emotional connection, a friends with benefits relationship can allow you to maintain that connection while also enjoying a physical relationship.

Cons:

1. Emotional baggage: If the relationship with your ex ended poorly, there may be emotional baggage that can impact the friends with benefits relationship.

2. Difficulty moving on: Engaging in a physical relationship with your ex can make it harder to move on and find a new relationship.

3. Risk of attachment: Even if you agree to keep things casual, there is always a risk of developing attachment and feelings for your ex.

4. Jealousy: If one or both of you start seeing other people, jealousy can become a factor and create tension in the friends with benefits relationship.

5. Lack of clarity: Without clear boundaries and communication, the friends with benefits relationship can become confusing and emotionally complicated.

How to end fwb with ex?

Ending a friends with benefits relationship with an ex can be a challenging and sensitive situation. It’s important to approach the situation with empathy and respect for both yourself and your ex’s feelings.

Consider your ex’s personality and how they may react to the news. If they tend to be emotional or sensitive, it may be best to choose a private and calm setting to have the conversation.

When communicating with your ex, be honest and direct about your feelings and intentions. Let them know that while you value the time you spent together, you no longer want to continue the FWB arrangement.

It’s important to avoid leading them on or giving false hope that the relationship may continue in the future.

It’s also important to consider how you will maintain boundaries after the FWB arrangement ends. This may involve limiting contact or setting clear expectations for future interactions.

If you feel that it’s necessary, you may also choose to take a break from communication altogether to allow both parties to move on.

Remember that ending a FWB arrangement with an ex can be difficult, but it’s important to prioritize your own well-being and emotional health.

By communicating with kindness and honesty, setting clear boundaries, and allowing time to heal, you can move forward with the confidence that you made the right decision for yourself.

Final thoughts:

In conclusion, the decision to engage in a friends with benefits relationship with an ex is not one to be taken lightly.

While it can offer a sense of comfort and familiarity, it can also bring up unresolved feelings and lead to further hurt or confusion.

It is important to carefully consider your motivations and intentions before pursuing this type of arrangement.

If you do decide to engage in a FWB relationship with an ex, communication and boundary-setting are key. 

Be honest about your feelings and expectations, and be willing to have difficult conversations when necessary. Additionally, make sure to prioritize self-care and respect for yourself and your ex-partner.

Ultimately, every situation is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another. It’s important to trust your instincts and make decisions that are in line with your values and goals.

With the right mindset and approach, a friends with benefits relationship with an ex can be a positive and fulfilling experience for both parties involved.

Author

  • Naveen B

    Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry. His expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few. To be updated with his latest work, connect with him by following his social media accounts.

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Author
Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry. His expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few. To be updated with his latest work, connect with him by following his social media accounts.

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