10 Steps guide to improve your active listening skills for effective communication

10 Steps guide to improve your active listening skills for effective communication

Last updated on May 5th, 2021 at 07:37 am

The key to being an effective communicator is that you have to know how to listen. Active listening is crucial in our day to day to life. Many of us may not think much about the sheer amount of words we hear each day. A particular study found that an average person hears between 20,000 and 30,000 words over the course of a 24-hour period.

However, just listening is entirely different from active listening. In personal development – like another skill, active listening skills are essential to enhance one’s personality, build healthy relationships and understand the message of the speaker clearly without any misinterpretations.

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So, let’s dive deep into the concept of active listening and close the gap between the speaker and listener by improving effecting listening skills. 

A step-by-step guide for the strong communication. Pay attention while reading and digest these list of acting listening techniques, strategies, tips, benefits and rules.

Before jumping into the main examples of active listening, firstly, let’s understand – 

What is listening?

Listening is the ability to listen accurately by understanding what is being communicated and accurately interpret messages coming from other people in the communication process.

If you got the clarity in the definition of listening and basing understanding about the communication. Let’s see what is active listening and who is an active listener?

If you got the clarity in the definition of listening and basing understanding about the communication. Let’s see what is active listening and who is an active listener?

What is active listening?

Definition of active listening: The act of active listening is a mental process that requires concentrating on sound, finding meaning within it and interacting with it.

Definition of active listener

An active listener is a person who is either naturally mastered an effective communication or developed an extreme listening skills through making points and paying attention to every feature of the speaker, for example, body language, facial expressions, by mutual understanding etc.,

Why is active listening important?

Importance of active listening: Studies suggest that effective listening and strong communication have been shown to exert a positive influence on the development of the healthcare industry, therapy, in personal relationships and fostering improved understanding of oneself in the process. 

The ability to listen with complete attention shows empathy, compassion, caring and loving nature. Since it entails accurately receiving, as well as accurately interpreting messages.

Therefore, active listening is really an important skill one must practice in order to excel in any business, professional or personal life.

Causes of poor listening

It is not an easy task to communicate. Having conversations with others is a complex process, requiring people to switch between speaking and listening rapidly. That’s why many of us have poor listening skills. Here is the list of reasons for poor listening.

  • We think faster than the we speak. 
  • Listening concentration is more difficult for an average person. 
  • In addition to this, we also tend not to ask any questions when we are not interested. Therefore, our critical faculties tend to be distracted by our emotions.
  • People generally listen just to gather the facts and avoid paying attention to the overall conversation.
  • Another factor that affects active listening ability includes the re-construction of information that is spoken orally after it has been received by the listener.
  • The way we listen is affected by our emotions to varying degrees, and in many different ways. Thinking in terms of a metaphor, we mentally turn off what we don’t want to hear.

 

How to improve active listening skills?

Improving active listening skills is more than just paying attention. It requires deliberate practice. So, how to practice active listening? 

Become aware of factors affecting your listening ability. By merely discussing listening factors, a certain degree of awareness is developed. Learn what it takes to develop good listening habits. A good listening habit is acquired by sound experience.

For more tips to improve your listening skills follow these below steps.

Steps for active listening

A person with strong listening skills will be able to communicate effectively with the other party, and will thus be in a better position to reach their goals. Here are the 10 steps to active listening. Follow them and apply in your life.

Step 1: Give your complete attention to the speaker

An effecting listening involves maintaining the appropriate posture and avoid distracting mannerisms; focus on what the speaker is saying. Maintain eye contact; nod and smile when appropriate.

Step 2: Understand before you want to be understood

Get to know the speaker better: “That’s a great idea, but can you elaborate on it?” When you seek meaningful understanding, you will be understood better and the person speaking will provide more information that will add value to the conversation. 

Step 3: Control your personal judgements

If you are able to remember some of the crucial points mentioned by the speaker at the end of the discussion, it indicates you are a good attentive listener.

Step 4: Don't interrupt the speaker until the point is being made

The communication flows smoothly only because of the involvement of the active listener. Make sure to stay silent while the speaker making his mind-altering perspectives.  Then interrupt only when you are not sure of a particular point that has been made.

Step 5: Ask questions to avoid the conflicts

Keeping active listening is also possible by asking questions. Active listeners will always inquire about something from the speaker.

As such, on the one hand you need to question the speaker to demonstrate that you are actively listening to what they are saying, on the other you can also be questioned by the speaker about what they are discussing to determine whether you are actively listening to them or not.

Step 6: Make sure you are receiving the exact message

Keep your attention still, and ask right questions such as,” This is what you mean? Did I receive your perspective as you are intended to deliver?”

Step 7: Remember the details for future reference

If you are able to remember some of the crucial points mentioned by the speaker at the end of the discussion, it indicates you are a good attentive listener.

Step 8: Evaluate the information you gathered before reflecting

Just actively listening is not the job of a listener. A good listener always evaluate the information and relates the topic by making multiple analyses then reflect back to sync with the story.

Step 9: Take time to prepare yourself for responding

Don’t just ask unnecassary questions for the sake of asking. No need to prove the speaker that you are caring and actively listening. Your actions speak more than your words. So, just listen with an undivided attention. Take time to prepare yourself for responding at the right moment.

Step 10: Share your genuine feedback

Interpersonal skills are way beyond just listening or speaking. In order to come to a mutual conclusion. The listener has to respond and share his genuine feedback with utmost honesty and truthfully comprehend his message in return to the speaker. So, that the speaker improves further communication.

Examples of active listening skills

  • Looking the speaker in the eyes while he is in action.
  • Paraphrasing your own words to the speaker’s meaning to show that you understand and actively listening.
  • Thinking deep about the emotions behind the speaker’s words. For instance, your colleague may be complaining about her boss because she feels unappreciated. This shows your empathetic skills.
  • Predicting and visualizing what the speaker is trying to convey. 
  • Showing patience and allowing the speaker to finish his point.

Types of active listening

Paraphrasing

Reflecting feelings

Reflecting meaning

Summative reflection

Signs of active listening

  • An active listener takes the responsibility to think ahead of the speaker, anticipating what he or she is said to say next and what conclusion will be drawn from the words spoken once they are delivered.
 
  • Another sign of active listening is when we have a genuine interest in a topic, we ask a few questions about what we hear and embody the information into our long term memory.

 
  • The listener looks at the evidence the speaker uses to support his positions. “Is this support correct?” the listener asks himself. “Is it enough to show that he was right?”
 
  • In the course of the active listening, the listener reviews the points discussed so far and mentally summarizes them.
 
  • Throughout the talk, the listener “listens between the lines” in search of meaning that is not necessarily put into spoken words. 
 
  • Taking note of nonverbal pieces of communication such as facial expressions, gestures, tone of voice, the active listener analyzes whether its significance depends on the spoken words. To see if it adds meaning to their spoken words. He asks himself, “Is the speaker deliberately avoiding something?”

5 Active listening components

  • Interest: Any active listening skills involves, at first that the listener should be interested in the discussion or the topic. Only then there will be chances of effective communication.
 
  • Body language: Body language such as facial expressions, behavior and attitude shows the attributes of the listening skills.
 
  • Concern: Not just be interested in the topic but the listener has to show concern on the speaker and what he or she is trying to convey. This is the essential component of active listening skills.
 
  • Openness: A good listener always keeps his options open and opinions to himself and actively participate in the conversation to gather the new information. This the trick behind any type of listening.
 
  • Response: The response of the active listener help to ensure that we: seek to understand and clarify what is communicated. Thus, helps to come to a conclusion with mutual understanding.

Characteristics of active listening

  • Non-verbal behavior: Establish the trustworthiness of the relationship by using the body language to create goodwill.
 
  • Focus: Keep focus on the comments of the speaker to understand and to feel effectively participated in the communication.
 
  • Acceptance: Accept ideas and feelings of the person who is speaking: “That’s an interesting idea, how did you come to that conclusion?” These kinds of interactive questions help to develop the communication process.
 
  • Empathy: Empathize in a genuine human way to clearly understand from the speaker’s point of view: “So when that happened, you felt angry.” Helps.
 
  • Probing: Probe in an informative but non-interrogative way: “Can you elaborate on that? Why did you feel that way?”
 
  • Paraphrasing: Paraphrase to clarify her understanding and reassure the speaker it is correct.
 
  • Summarizing: You ought to briefly summarize the conversation often, especially in conflicting circumstances.
 
  • Advice: Provide a variety of alternatives by proposing (or asking) for some by the speaker

Active listening techniques

Techniques of active listening:

Prediction:

Attention:

Interpretation:

Adaptation:

Response:

Active listening strategies

Strategies for effective listening 

Listen

Be open

Keep eye contact

Be empathetic

Use silence effectively

 

Active listening skills in the workplace

In the workplace, active listening helps in recognizing other’s thoughts, interpretations and feelings that enable us to appreciate them. This not only facilitates conflict resolution but also cultivates a culture of respect. In order to create a healthy workplace environment –  Try to understand others’ perspectives before reacting quickly.

Active listening exercises

Exercise on summarizing the conversation:

You should attend every conversation with a summary at least for 5 to 7 days. The goal is to follow up consistently on decisions that are reached during conversations with summarizing.

Group activity exploring specific topics: a game and an exercise

  •  Be open-minded: disengage your biases, search for things to agree with as well as things to challenge.
  •  Learn by being curious: rather than trying to “fix” anything, try to find out more.  
  • Listen without interrupting the speaker: write down your questions or leave them until later. 
  •  Pay attention to patterns and things you do not hear being said. 
  • Understand what you intend to learn when you listen: What do you intend to do with the information you receive?

 One rule is that each person must have a chance to speak once before anyone else is allowed to speak again.

The second rule is for someone to answer any question they ask before anyone else may reply. 

Make sure the rules are followed by identifying a captain.

 

Benefits of active listening

A number of studies have shown active listening to be associated with positive outcomes in many industries, fields, relations and personally. Here the list of benefits of being an active listener.

  • Studies of romantic couples’ argumentation have demonstrated that active listening leads to more effective problem solving, relationship stability and perceived resolvability of problems.
  • In Business, customers’ ratings of a salesperson listening abilities were positively correlated with their salespeople’s reported engagements in active listening.
  • Researchers in Japan found that supervisors performing active listening exercises with employees increase employees’ productivity and satisfaction.
  • Federal Bureau of Investigation hostage negotiators who possess expertise in negotiation use paraphrase, reflect, and other active listening behaviors during role play exercises much more than novice negotiators.
  • On active empathetic listening scale studies show that the measures of social influence, social expression, emotional sensitivity, and social control appear to be linked to a wide array of positive outcomes, including the ability to interact effectively and maintain meaningful relationships.

Barriers to active listening

  •  Inadequate language base: Despite one’s best efforts to fully understand a speaker, an insufficient language background will hinder learning a new subject. Poor language proficiency, a lack of technical vocabulary, and fear of confrontation can prove a hardship.
 
  •  Partial Listening: Multitasking and being distracted easily are symptoms of partial listening.  For instance, many people fail to pay full attention to what is being said during a phone conversation because their minds are distracted. They may flip through a book or surf the internet, thus wasting time.
 
  • Disinterestedness: The listener may feel disinterested in the subject, so during a conversation, the listener may speak about other topics that are of interest to him. Students, for example, may remember a pop song more easily than an author’s name.
 
  • Pre-judging the Speaker/the Speech: The listener can be influenced either positively or negatively by looking at the speaker’s appearance, dress and mannerism. An affront can be sustained by the listener’s preferences for gender and color. The status of the speaker might also affect one’s thinking.
 
  • Negativity towards the Speaker : Poor listening is a consequence of emotionally, mentally and psychologically-numb listeners. If the listeners dislike the speaker and do not approve of his/her ideas, distorted and negative messages will be reconstructed.
 
  • Diffidence : A demoralized listener tends to underestimate his/her own abilities to comprehend what’s being said. Therefore, they focus solely on the speech and miss the point. New students and participants at conferences tend to fall into this kind of self-diffidence.
 
  • Over-enthusiasm/Intolerance: Listeners sometimes take the speaker too literally and overly enthusiastic and supplant his/her ideas with their own. This generally results from the listener becoming impatient with the speaker for his/her slowness in communicating. 
 
  • Deep-rooted beliefs: Often, people become closed minded because of deep rooted beliefs and convictions instilled in them by society and culture. These socio- culturally embedded beliefs and convictions act as barriers against new thoughts and fresh ideas

 

 

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