How to build an emotional connection? (Step-by-step Guide)

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By: Naveen B

There is a science to connecting with people.

But more than that, there is a mystery behind – “Why we connect only to certain people but not to others?”

Although, studies prove that the more emotional connection you have with a person, the more likely you to be happy and healthy –

Our very own intuition reveals that we connect only to those who are connected to us. We fall in love with those people who are already in love with us. And lead a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life.

Sadly, this is not true for many people. Because not all listen to their guts. And fall prey to external validation, physical appearance, or to their own ignorance.

It requires a great effort, self-awareness, and confidence to know who they really are; so that they can be involuntarily guided by their intuition and connect to those who are dear to their souls.

Today, I will guide you to consciously develop deep and healthy relationships. And how to build an emotional connection with people you like and feel connected with. 

Stay with me till the end to discover something new about the human condition and apply on your personal life.

Suggested read to you: When you feel a connection with someone do they feel it too?

What is an emotional connection?

What does it mean to have an emotional connection with someone?

You know you have an emotional connection with someone when you are able to express your feelings around them. You can tell them things that make you unhappy, and they listen without judging you. 

They do not try to fix the problem or dismiss your feelings as unimportant. Rather, they validate your emotions by relating their own experiences and telling you how they felt in those situations.

When there is a lack of an emotional connection in relationships, people end up feeling lonely even when they are spending time with other people. 

The major cause of this lack is that both individuals are not opening up to each other and sharing their thoughts and emotions openly. 

Sometimes it can be because one person has had bad experiences in the past, while at other times, it might be because of some personality traits such as low self-esteem or narcissism.

How to build an emotional connection?

Being emotionally present and open with your partner is a great way to lay the foundation for emotional bonding.

When you are in a relationship, having emotional intimacy can be equally or even more important than physical intimacy.

Emotional intimacy involves understanding each other on a deeper level and being able to share feelings with each other.

It means having trust and faith in each other when you are in a relationship, without which it is not possible to develop an emotional connection between two people.

If you want to have an emotionally intimate relationship with another person, then there are some things that will help you achieve this goal, namely:

  • Be emotionally vulnerable in your interactions. If you want someone to feel comfortable opening up to you and allowing themselves to be vulnerable around you, then you should be willing to do the same around them.
  • Listen attentively to what your partner has to say. The best way for someone else to know that they can confide in us is by listening actively when they talk about something that matters deeply or intimately for them (like their passion or beliefs).

5 Steps to build an emotional connection with anyone.

1. Be emotionally vulnerable in your interactions.

Vulnerability is key when building an emotional connection. That doesn’t make it easy, but it’s necessary.

Sharing your fears, worries and concerns with someone else allows them to understand you better and to build a deeper relationship with you. 

When you are vulnerable with your partner in a relationship, they will find it easier to be open and honest about their feelings as well.

As you continue to share with one another, an emotional connection will grow stronger between the two of you. 

A strong emotional connection that has been built on openness and honesty leads to healthier relationships in the long run.

This type of connection helps couples feel safe being themselves around each other without fear of judgment or rejection from the other person.

If sharing your emotions feels difficult at first, try using statements like “I feel…” or “I think…” instead of making blanket statements such as “you always do this!” 

These statements can help reduce defensiveness in others because there is no accusation behind them – only how one feels or thinks about something specific in that moment. 

It also starts conversations up more easily than if someone were just going off about what they did wrong again today!To start expressing yourself more openly and honestly with people close to you:

  • Be present when talking about things that matter most – put away distractions so that both parties are fully engaged in conversation
  • Listen actively instead of passively – ask questions about what’s being said rather than waiting for your turn to speak next time around

2. Listening attentively to what your partner has to say

Listening attentively to what your partner has to say is a great way to build emotional intimacy. When you are in a relationship with someone, you may often be sharing your feelings and thoughts. 

It can be tempting to try and convince your partner that they are wrong or not understanding an issue correctly. Instead, try listening with the intent of truly understanding what your partner is saying and how they feel about it. 

Listening shows that you care about their thoughts and opinions as well as their feelings.

Some ways to listen actively are:

  • Make eye contact
  • Don’t interrupt
  • Ask questions, such as clarifying questions if something is unclear or open-ended questions so that the speaker can keep talking if they need more time to think through their thoughts or emotions
  • Repeat back some of what the speaker said so that they know you were paying attention

3. Make eye contact when you’re talking to someone

One way to build an emotional connection with someone is by making eye contact when you’re talking to them.

Eye contact is a form of body language that can communicate a lot about what someone is feeling. It’s also a way to connect with others on an emotional level, which is why it’s so important.

The easiest way to make sure your eyes are looking at the other person more often than not during conversations is by practicing attentive listening skills (see above). 

This will help you focus your attention on their words and facial expressions instead of wandering off into space or checking your phone for new notifications every few minutes!

4. Practice self-awareness and mindfulness in all of your interactions.

To develop more self-awareness and mindfulness in your own life, you can:

  • Observe your emotions without judgment. This means not trying to change the way you feel but instead accepting that it’s a natural reaction to whatever is happening around you.
  • Focus on one task at a time instead of multi-tasking. This will help you be fully present and engaged in the moment, not thinking about something that happened earlier or planning out an activity for later on.
  • Take 5 minutes each day to meditate or do deep breathing exercises.

Putting in the work to improve your self-awareness and mindfulness will pay off in many areas of your life, including helping you build emotional connections with others.

5. Be yourself and accept others for who they are.

  • Be yourself.
  • If you want others to accept you as a well-rounded person that they can emotionally connect with, be your authentic self. Everyone has their quirks; embrace them! Others will too.
  • Accept others for who they are.

Accepting people for who they are is a great way to build an emotional connection because it fosters trust and shows that you’re willing to accept their flaws as much as the positive things about them.

This helps them feel safe with you and connected in a deeper way.

How long does it take to build an emotional connection?

The time it takes to build an emotional connection depends on individual circumstances, but there are a few common factors to consider.

Some people are naturally reserved and need more time, while others have experienced a lot of past heartbreak and may take even longer.

If you’re trying to build an emotional connection with a guy or girl that you just met, then the process may be slower than someone you’ve known for years.

To connect emotionally with your girlfriend requires a long-term investment in getting to know her deeply. You’ll need to show that you want her in your life every day, not just when it suits your needs or interests.

If you show up only when things are going well enough at home or work, she might feel neglected and withdraw emotionally from the relationship.

  • A man may develop an emotional connection with you instantly. He may need to spend some time getting to know you first. It depends on the individual and how comfortable he feels around you.
  • If a guy isn’t looking for a serious relationship, he won’t invest a lot of time in developing an emotional connection with you. He’ll only have shallow feelings for you, which won’t last long.
  • It’s hard to define how long it takes until a woman develops an emotional connection with you because women tend to look at things differently than men do.
  • They don’t get emotionally attached as quickly as men do and they take longer to build strong feelings for someone they date or are in a relationship with.

As mentioned earlier, it’s not easy to answer this question because each person is different and there are many factors involved: personality traits, past experiences, needs, and expectations from the relationship, etc.

How to build an emotional connection with a man?

So, How to create an emotional bond with a man?

Well, first off, you’re going to have to talk about your feelings. Yup. You’re going to have to actually verbalize the fact that you’re feeling something and what it is you’re feeling. 

Also, since he doesn’t know everything there is to know about you already (what?!), you’re going to need to share things about yourself that are more than skin deep — we’re talking about your hopes, dreams, fears, and secrets — or what some might refer to as “your life story.” 

The good news is that your life story isn’t really all that long at this point (probably).

If a guy is truly interested in getting to know *you*, then he’s also interested in sharing himself with *you* too. But don’t take it personally if he’s not able or willing or comfortable enough just yet. 

A friend of mine who met her now-husband online said she spent almost a year chatting with him before they ever met face-to-face.

As their relationship progressed so did the depth of their conversations and the level of their intimacy. 

It was only once they were married and living together that my friend learned her husband had never told his previous girlfriend any details about his upbringing because “she never asked.”

So go ahead girlfriend: ask away!

Signs of emotional connection with a guy

  • He listens to what you say and remembers it.
  • He trusts you and respects your opinions.
  • He wants to spend time with you and really enjoys being around you.
  • You feel safe talking to him about anything—stressful work situations, childhood memories, your relationship with your mum.

How to build an emotional connection with a woman?

Being the first person to initiate a conversation with a girl is hard, but it’s important to remember that she’s probably just as nervous as you are. 

So what should you do? The best thing is to be yourself and have a real conversation as opposed to asking her boring questions like “where are you from” or “what do you study.”

Instead, start by being really curious about her. 

Take your time and ask her questions that bring out interesting aspects of her personality and don’t be afraid to share yourself in return.

If the conversation is going well, which it will if you make an effort, then ask for her number at the end of it. 

This way, if for some reason she doesn’t want to spend more time with you then night, an alternative will be available.

In this way, there’s no pressure to either talk all night or get rejected by asking for her number straight away. As long as you’re both having fun talking together then things are going in the right direction!

How to build an emotional connection with your girlfriend?

So, How to build an emotional connection with a girl

Here are some things you can try if you want to strengthen your girlfriend:

  • Make time for each other. This may seem obvious, but it is still worth mentioning. If you want to be close with someone, then you need to dedicate time to being with them. 

You don’t have to spend every waking hour together in order for it to count as quality time; just make sure that the time spent together isn’t rushed or hurried.

A good way of making sure this happens is by scheduling regular dates together: whether that’s going out for dinner once a week or watching movies on Friday nights when both of your schedules aren’t too busy!

1. Listen attentively while she talks about her day (or anything else). This doesn’t mean just listening when she needs something from you.

Or asking questions so she knows what’s going on in your life too–it means truly hearing what she says without interrupting or thinking about ways you might respond instead of focusing on what she has already shared with.

2. Get to know her better. One way of building up an emotional connection with someone is by getting closer in general, which means learning more about them and gaining a deeper understanding of who they are as individuals and how they view the world around them! 

Think about things like, their hobbies, interests, passions: ask questions that get into specifics so you’ll understand more fully why these things matter so much for them personally rather than just knowing basic information like what their favorite movie might be because everyone likes different genres/types of films anyway.

How to build emotional connection through text?

Texting is one of the most popular ways to communicate with people around the world. You can have a conversation with your friend in another city or chat with someone you are truly interested in.

In any case, it is important to know how to build an emotional connection through text messages. Let’s see if we can help you out a bit…

  • Be honest and open with your partner.

No doubt, honesty is one of the most important things when dating someone over text messaging.  If you do not want to hurt each other’s feelings, tell your partner what exactly you are thinking about this relationship and/or future together. 

Also, do not be afraid of talking about your previous relationships or telling what makes you happy. All these things will definitely help you create a strong bond between two people who were strangers before.

  • Be consistent in communication.

When building an emotional connection through texting, it is very important that both partners understand each other’s feelings towards them.

How much importance do they put into their relationship together?

How serious those two people are about it for real life (not just on paper)? It means that there should never be any doubts: only pure love!

  • Ask questions about your partner’s day: Asking questions about your partner’s feelings or experience can help you build a strong emotional connection.
  • Don’t overanalyze every text: You should not read too much into your texts.
  • Don’t use too many emoticons: It is important not to use emoticons in excess.
  • Don’t use text to resolve problems in the relationship: Do not rely on text messages to resolve conflicts in the relationship. For example, if you have a fight with your partner, it may be better to talk face-to-face instead of only texting back and forth.

How to know if you have an emotional connection with someone?

You might have an emotional connection with someone if:

  • You experience eye contact. Eye contact doesn’t necessarily indicate love, but it is definitely a way to establish deeper feelings for someone.
  • There’s physical touch. It could be just touching your hand or giving you a hug when you’re feeling down, but even these small gestures are indications that there is a deeper level of intimacy between people. 

If a man can’t keep his hands to himself in public, this would be an indication that he’s attracted to you physically and emotionally—and he’s not afraid to show it!

1. You communicate well. You feel like the two of you can talk about anything without worrying about being judged or misunderstood.

It’s the kind where there’s no need for talking at all because everything important has already been said through actions rather than words.

2. You feel safe around them. When there’s an emotional connection with someone new in your life.

They make you feel comfortable enough to open up and share things that haven’t been easy for others before them.

They will also never judge nor ridicule what comes out of your mouth because they know how hard it has been on yourself already.

This makes room for more honesty between partners which strengthens their bond even further over time as trust builds upon each other over shared experiences together – it can only go up from here!

Lack of emotional connection in a relationship

In order to build an emotional connection, it is crucial that you learn the basics of how to develop this important element in a relationship.

There are many signs that indicate a lack of emotional connection in your marriage or relationship. These include:

  • You feel that your partner doesn’t understand you anymore.
  • Your partner doesn’t seem to care about what you’re feeling or experiencing.
  • Your partner has little interest in participating in activities together with you.

If either (or both) of these factors are present in your relationship, then it’s entirely possible that the two of you have developed serious problems with your emotional connection and need some help overcoming them as soon as possible.

So, what to do if you’re in the position of having a poor connection with your partner? Well, firstly it’s worth pointing out that this is not unusual. In fact, it is more common than most people realize.

Every relationship hits rough patches, and every relationship experiences them differently.

However, there are some common misconceptions that need to be cleared up, before you move forward and try to rebuild the emotional connection.

Myth: My partner doesn’t love me anymore

It is possible for two people who love each other deeply, to lose their emotional connection.

It may be that you have taken each other for granted over time or perhaps one or both of you has been going through a hard time and haven’t been as attentive as normal.

This does not mean your partner doesn’t love you, just that they aren’t able to show it right now.

Myth: The only solution is marriage counseling

Marriage counseling can certainly help many couples who have hit a bump in the road but there are plenty of things that can be done before resorting so drastic measures such as this.

Now let’s take a look at three ways of increasing your emotional connection with your partner and rebuilding an intimate bond between yourselves:

How to build emotional intimacy?

Learn to listen without judgment.

If you’re willing to listen to your partner and help solve the problems, your relationship will grow stronger.

Talking about emotions can be difficult or uncomfortable at times, so practice active listening to gain trust.

Quit complaining. Sometimes it seems easier to complain than talk about what you need in your relationship.

Set aside time for good conversation that doesn’t revolve around complaints, and you’ll learn more about each other than ever before.

Seek out a trusted counselor together if needed. If you are having trouble with communication in the relationship, seek help from a counselor who can provide professional advice on how to rebuild an emotional connection in troubled relationships.

Look for a therapist specializing in relationship counseling and take advantage of free marriage counseling programs (if available) if money is tight.

Intellectual connection vs emotional connection

You may have read a lot about intellectual connection and its importance but does it really matter? Well, you will be happy to know that the answer is no.

What connection is better, emotional or intellectual? Emotional connection is more important than an intellectual one. Now you must be wondering why.

How does actually building an emotional connection help? Let’s go through what it means for you and your partner to have an emotional connection in your relationship.

Why should you focus on building an emotional connection:

  • It makes your relationship stronger
  • It makes your communication better
  • It helps both of you understand each other better

How to build an emotional connection with your partner?

  • Take time out of your day to be grateful for each other
  • Learn how to listen without interrupting or judging the other person
  • Practice putting yourself in their shoes and show compassion
  • Celebrate each other’s accomplishments, big or small
  • Pay extra attention when they open up emotionally
  • Plan date nights where both of you can interact face-to-face

Emotional connection vs physical connection

When it comes to relationships, a lot of people think that emotional connections are more important than physical connections. But really, you need both in order to have a happy and healthy relationship.

The reason why an emotional connection is so important is that the bond that you share with your partner becomes more meaningful when there’s not just passion and excitement but also shared experiences of deep emotions.

A strong emotional connection means that you and your partner can share your thoughts, feelings, and desires without being judged or misunderstood by each other. 

This kind of connection allows people to feel safe in the relationship because they know their needs will be met regardless of whether or not those needs involve sex or romance.

An example would be if one person wants something from their partner but doesn’t want to ask for it because they’re afraid their partner might reject their request:

“I don’t want my boyfriend/girlfriend to say no, so I’m going to pretend like everything’s fine between us even though it isn’t.”

People who have an emotional connection also tend toward having physical intimacy too, as these two things are often intertwined with one another.

Final thoughts:

If you want to build an emotional connection with your boyfriend, girlfriend, spouse, or partner it is important that you understand that it is a process and not something that can happen overnight.

It takes time for the relationship to develop and grow.

Now that you have a better understanding of how to build an emotional connection with your girlfriend, take some time to think about the things you can do differently in order to make her feel more connected with you.

The article will help in understanding how to build an emotional connection with your partner, and spouse, so follow the above tips and enjoy the benefits of having a stronger relationship!

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Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry. His expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few. To be updated with his latest work, connect with him by following his social media accounts.

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