21 Questions to ask your crush (This strategic list reveals a lot about your crush)

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By: Naveen B

When you’ve deep crush on someone, it can be hard to get them to open up and talk about themselves.

They might be shy or feel uncomfortable talking about their deepest feelings and desires.

So if you’re looking to get to know your crush better, try these 21 questions to ask your crush to spark instant connection, develop a deep conversation and earn a genuine first impression with your authentic communication style.

This guide will give you some ideas of Questions to ask your crush when playing 20 questions or in any situation either online chatting or in person.

So that they can let their guard down and open up to you. Plus, the conversation will be fun and engaging—it’s great foreplay in the relationship bond.

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21 Questions to ask your crush

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1. What did you think and feel about me when we first met? 

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Vibes and feelings are very difficult to read, especially at the beginning of a relationship. But asking this question is more than worth it.

Remembering that attraction and chemistry are subjective things. In other words, what might seem like chemistry to you might seem like something else entirely to him or her.

So keep these things in mind before being too judgmental (though this doesn’t mean rushing into anything). Just remember: You never really know until you’re actually together.

Also read: 100 Questions to ask your crush to get to know him or her deeply

2. Are you attracted to intelligent people or good looking people? 

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The answer to this question tells you what type of partners your crush usually goes for.

For example, if he/she chooses intelligence and kindness over attractiveness, then it’s likely that wisdom will play a large role in his/her selection criteria when choosing partners.

And he/she will probably expect the same from you as well.

3. How do you decide if someone is the perfect partner for you? Any particular details?

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The best way to find out if somebody is a perfect match for you is by getting to know each other better and learning how compatible both parties are.

By asking this specific question to your crush , you’ll know if they focus more on physical appearance, personality traits, compatibility etc.

This will give you insight into who they are and what they want in a partner.

When it comes to compatibility with another person, there are many different factors to consider. These include your values, interests, opinions and goals.

4. What’s the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you?

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Humans by nature get comfortable with people who are thoughtful, show kind gestures and provide support.

They see their significant others as sources of happiness, which can lead to an increased level of intimacy between the two parties.

As time passes and emotions grow stronger, sexual arousal also increases due to hormones such as oxytocin and dopamine being released during sex.

Bottom line: A lot of research suggests that romance is crucial in order for relationships to last longer than just three months.

So, apart from the response you get to this question from your crush, plan something from your end to make him/her special and make your crush realize that your love is genuine and pure. 

People Also read: 25 Psychological facts about crushes and falling in love (Scientific research based)

5. What does love mean to you and have you ever loved anyone?

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The word love means different things to different people, but a deep feeling of affection towards another person is common amongst most definitions.

It’s often used interchangeably with terms like affection, liking, and friendship.

Love can take various forms including maternal love, brotherly love, paternal love, sisterly love, platonic love and lustful infatuation.

It may be hard to tell whether someone loves you or not because the way they show it varies across cultures.

Consider this question to ask your crush to get to know what his/her perception of love is?

6. What are your morals, values, ethics and the general philosophy of life?

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The more similarities you share with your crush, the more likely it is that there is a potential connection between both of you.

When you ask this question to your crush, you will get to know what they believe in and if they have the same values as you.

This will help you identify whether or not they are right for you.

7. What’s your idea of a perfect date?

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This question will let you know what they enjoy doing, what they value and more importantly, what they think is the perfect date.

Do some research and find out what types of dates your crush prefers so that one day when it’s finally time to ask them on a date, you already know exactly what to do.

8. Do you think long distance relationships survive?

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This question is important to ask your crush because it will shed light on what they think about long distance relationships.

For instance, if you both live in distant places, this question could lead to a deep conversation between you.

Especially, if you’re from a country that is far away from theirs. If they don’t agree with the concept of a long-distance relationship, it might be wise to be prepared from the beginning itself.

9. What are your thoughts on living together before getting married?

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What is your opinion on open relationships and friends with benefits? The main reason why you should live with your significant other before marriage is to determine if they are the right fit for you.

Living together will allow you to figure out what it would be like to live with the person and if you feel that they are worth spending the rest of your life with.

This is also a good opportunity to figure out if your lifestyle, religion, and beliefs align with those of your significant other.

If it turns out that living together is not the best option for both of you, then it is better to know early on rather than later down the road.

One disadvantage of living together without marrying first is that a separation becomes much more difficult later on in life.

On the other hand, waiting until marriage isn’t always the ideal situation either. This question is definitely the best one to explore with your crush.

10. How much time do you spend on social media every day and which one of them is your favorite?

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An open and free conversation about their use of social media and what they are looking at is a great place to start.

This is the perfect time to establish a healthy dialogue, especially if you suspect your crush spends too much time on the internet.

Start by asking these 10 questions to your crush and see how they respond. From here, it will be easier to decide how you want to proceed.

11. Do you have any profile on Tinder, Snapchat or any other dating app?

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This could reveal so many things about your crush. First, you’ll get to know what type of person they are attracted to.

Second, you’ll know whether or not they are really serious about finding a partner.

Third, you’ll find out what type of relationship they prefer: monogamous or non-monogamous. 

Fourth, you’ll learn whether or not your crush is currently single and available.

Fifth, depending on their answer, you might be able to infer their sexual orientation. This one question is the best shot to get to know about your crush’s status.

12. How did your last relationship end, if you had any? 

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This question will help you understand what kind of past experiences your crush has had with love.

It may provide insights into why they act or behave the way they do towards others. You may discover certain triggers that cause certain reactions in them.

You may even find out if they’ve ever been cheated on before and if so, who was responsible for hurting them.

13. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

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This is a fun pick up line or a conversation starter question to ask your crush, which involves a bit of flirting, humor and wit.

However, there are two possible outcomes to this question.

One, if your crush believes in love at first sight, then you can continue the conversation based on how you interpret their answer.

Two, if they don’t believe in love at first sight, this could serve as an eye opener to you as well. It may also give you insight into what they think about romance and passion.

This can be an excellent topic to continue discussing while getting to know each other better.

14. Are you a cat person or a dog person?

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This is one of the questions that will tell you all about your crush’s personality traits and preferences.

Cats are considered lazy animals whereas dogs require more attention and care but people still need space from time to time.

Also, it’s just one of the light weight questions to ask your crush that keeps the conversation effortless and a good way to exchange each other’s likes and dislikes.

15. Do you consider yourself Introvert or extravert? and how do you balance your personality? 

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One of the drawbacks of being introverted is the lack of physical contact.

Extraverts, on the other hand, enjoy human contact and thrive in large groups. This question will let you know if your crush prefers solitude or company.

To balance these tendencies, introverts need to make sure they’re spending enough time alone to recharge and extraverts should take some downtime to focus on themselves.

Also, this question reveals the inner charisma of your crush.

People Also read: What does it mean to have a crush on someone?

16. What is your guilty pleasure TV show?

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Some people cannot go a day without watching their favorite show and that includes your crush too.

Watching TV series is a big part of our culture today and this is a conversation topic to ask your crush about theirs.

Try guessing which character does your crush relate most to and why. 

17. What’s the craziest thing you’ve done for someone you love or your crush, if you had any? 

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There is no better way to know the depth of your crush’s love than to hear about their actions. 

This question is a perfect opportunity to find out what they would do in order to please the person they care about.

If you find out that your crush is capable of doing anything, then you know you’re in luck.

But if you find out that your crush wouldn’t go beyond taking a few steps, then know when to stop pursuing them because the odds are high that they aren’t ready for commitment yet.

And most importantly, this question reveals your crush’s romantic side and whether he/she has any crush on someone at this moment.

18. Why didn’t you text me back?

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This is one of the trickier questions to ask your crush and it will depend on the situation and timing.

The goal of this question is to find out if your crush wants to pursue something deeper with you or not.

If they say they forgot, they were busy or they were caught up in something else, know that they haven’t given up on you and give them another chance.

19. What is the one thing that people do that annoys you the most and what’s your opinion on society in general?

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This is a deep question to ask your crush and the answers might surprise you. This can be a deep icebreaker question that is intriguing and thoughtful.

On the other hand, if your crush doesn’t want to talk about society in general, then it may mean they have a pessimistic outlook on life.

Either way, you’ll get to know more about them and if they seem frustrated or disappointed in the world, maybe you can try cheering them up by offering help.

20. How often do you like to visit home or interact with your family members?

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This question is one of the few that reveal how much your crush cares about family.

Knowing if they miss their family members, spend holidays at home or have never lived anywhere else can tell you everything about your crush’s background and upbringing.

And it tells how your crush balances his/her personal and social life.

21. What are your thoughts on marriage? and would you go for love or arranged?

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This question is a final touch to the list of questions to ask your crush. It reveals the intent of your crush and where they stand in terms of a committed relationship.

Firstly, get to know what his/her perception on marriage is. Secondly, see if they’re willing to wait for true love or are open to an arranged marriage.

Lastly, confirm once again if they have any previous experience with dating or ready to start a new relationship.

Once you’ve asked all 21 questions, you’ll finally know who your crush really is and whether he/she is worth pursuing.

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Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry. His expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few. To be updated with his latest work, connect with him by following his social media accounts.

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