Friends with benefits are always uncertain. No one can predict how and where they might end up.
But most experts agree that there is a line of demarcation between a friendly s#xual encounter ( Casual FWB) and s#x as part of a committed relationship (i.e., Friends With Benefits Relationship).
While either party may grow feelings for each other, if both parties don’t feel like having physical relationship together every time then it doesn’t make sense to become in an exclusive type of FWB scenario.
Friends with benefits have become a popular way for couples who live together or hook-up regularly to still have their physical needs met outside of their current relationship.
However, it’s important that both people understand that things might evolve into something more than casual fling – even if neither party wishes it to happen! So,
Can FWB turn into a relationship?
Can Friends with benefits turn into a relationship? Around 60% of U.S. college students report having at least one friend-with-benefits relationship at some point in their lives.
However, only about 10-20% of FWBs turn into long-term romantic relationships. So, Can FWB turn into a relationship? “Yes.” As per the statistics. But, it is significantly low and in rare cases that happens.
The fact is that more often than not, Yes, FWB does turn into a full-blown romantic relationship. Especially if you’re in college or still single and just looking for fun.
What started out as an FWB thing may develop into something deeper, especially after several months of hangouts and hookups. So,
What can you do to ensure that your FWB doesn’t develop into a serious relationship?
Well there are things you can do right off the bat, such as be upfront about wanting to keep things casual and then stick to it once they start getting attached. There are also things you can say along those lines too.
Something like Don’t get too attached ok? We agreed we were going to have fun right? Or saying I’m not ready for anything serious and I think it might scare us both away (you don’t want to act needy at all).
However, people who get involved in FWBs tend to be quite selective when looking for partners.
Since you’ve presumably only agreed to sleep with someone you’re pretty close with, chances are that whoever ends up being your friend also tickles some of your other fancy traits besides great bond.
Also read: Types of friends with benefits
Even though everything might seem fine right now, future prospects aren’t always guaranteed.
As mentioned above, if someone who used to be an FWB decides they want something else out of their relationship with you – especially if they feel strongly enough about it – then there’s almost no way these two will make it out unscathed.
In short, not everyone wants a relationship, let alone one built on such volatile foundations.
It takes more than hot s#x and personality to get a full-fledged romance off its feet, and without mutual romantic feelings there won’t be any happily ever after.
Hence why FWBs don’t usually become relationships – because sometimes what could have been is better left unspoken.
Even if someone who used to be your friend with benefits suddenly tells you they love you, remember that not all situations are cut-and-dry.
Again, communication is key here so try having a discussion instead of shutting down completely.
Also read: Stages of friends with benefits
How do I know I am ready for a serious Friends with Benefits relationship?
Being ready means being mature enough to handle whatever comes along with dating someone new. This means being able to answer yes to these three questions: Do you see yourself spending time together (like hanging out) outside of physical intimacy?
Can you tell him/her everything without having any fear of judgement? If a friend told you that he/she hooked up with [person], would you be ok with them both dating each other because neither one did anything wrong?
If so, go for it! You’re probably ready and they are too! If not, keep working on your readiness and come back when you’re sure you can handle a FWB situation.
Also read: What are friends with benefits
How to turn friends with benefits into a real relationship?
How do I start a committed Friends with benefits relationship? and How can I turn my friend with benefits into a boyfriend or girlfriend? Now that we’ve established how to know if you are prepared or not.
Let’s talk about how to start one in detail. The most important thing is starting off right and ending right; hopefully your first hookup will also be your last hookup.
Here is how: Start by asking Is there something going on between us? If they say no, end it and cut them out of your life.
If they say yes, proceed: Okay, so what do you think our next step should be? If they say let’s just keep doing what we’re doing/hooking up, then follow their lead – as long as it doesn’t get weird.
Keep things casual but don’t get too close – allow yourself to feel vulnerable sometimes but never give away all of yourself unless you trust them completely.
Some people might disagree with me on that one but whatever you decide, make sure it feels 100% right for both of you.
Do not assume anything until you have discussed it (do NOT push someone into saying something).
Example questions for discussion include: Will he/she spend time with me outside of s#x? Can he/she tell me everything without being afraid to disappoint me because we didn’t start as just friends?
Will he be open enough to introduce his/her other relationships (friends with benefits) without fear of judgement from my friends (or vice versa)?
A successfully ended FWB situation depends mainly on communicating well from day 1 and sticking to your boundaries. So communicate well and stick to your boundaries even when things get complicated.
In conclusion, when talking about fwb it is important that both parties understand what is going on from the start. They need to have a clear set of rules so there are no misunderstandings or awkward moments later.
The best advice for people in FWB relationships is Be honest and straightforward right away.
It may sound corny, but being honest and up front always works out better than being dishonest and letting things unfold naturally- which more often than not just leads to heartbreak.
Remember if you’re hooking up with someone be upfront about what you want (and don’t want) from them, don’t waste your time trying to convince yourself that they’re different/special – chances are they probably aren’t – and ultimately just enjoy yourself.