Breaking up with someone is never easy, especially when emotions are still running high.
But what happens when your ex suggests the idea of being friends with benefits?
You might be wondering “My ex wants to be friends with benefits.” Why do they want and how to handle it? It’s a situation that can leave you feeling confused and unsure of what to do next.
On one hand, you may feel tempted to give it a try and enjoy the physical benefits of the relationship without any commitment.
On the other hand, you may worry that it will only lead to more hurt feelings and complications in the future.
This is a complex decision that requires a mix of both emotional and reasonable thinking.
While the idea of being friends with benefits may seem appealing, it’s important to consider the reasons behind your ex’s proposal and what it could mean for your emotional well-being.
In this blog post, we’ll explore the reasons why an ex may want to be friends with benefits, what to do if you’re faced with this situation, and offer tips on how to make the best decision for yourself.
Why does my ex want to be friends with benefits?
It’s difficult to know for sure why your ex wants to be friends with benefits without more information about your specific situation.
However, it’s possible that they may miss the physical intimacy and connection that you shared and are hoping to maintain that aspect of the relationship without the commitment or emotional attachment.
Alternatively, they may not be ready to let go of the relationship entirely and may be using the FWB arrangement as a way to keep you in their life.
It’s important to consider your own feelings and boundaries and make a decision that is in line with your own needs and desires.
Also read: 50 Subtle signs your fwb likes you deeply
My ex wants to be friends with benefits: What to do and how to handle the situation?
Some people may see being friends with benefits as a way to explore their sexuality and have fun without the commitment of a relationship.
Others may view it as a morally ambiguous situation that goes against their personal values.
If you’re not over your ex or have lingering feelings, being friends with benefits can make it harder for you to move on and heal.
If you’re comfortable with the idea and have no emotional attachment, it may be a way to have physical intimacy without the complications of a relationship.
But it’s important to consider the potential consequences and risks.
You should also consider whether this arrangement is something that you want in the long term, or if it’s just a temporary solution.
Also read: 50 Signs your fwb doesn’t like you
Case 1: Tips to handle the ex fwb if you’re not interested:
If you’re not interested and still have feelings for your ex, it’s important to be honest and explain that being friends with benefits is not something you’re comfortable with.
You can say something like, “I appreciate the offer, but I don’t think it’s a good idea. I’m still healing and need some time to move on.” It’s important to set boundaries and stick to them.
Tell them you are not interested in fwb because of personal values or beliefs, you can explain that it goes against what you stand for.
For example, you could say, “I don’t think it’s something I’m comfortable with. I believe in having a deeper connection with someone before being intimate.”
Express what’s in your mind that, you’re concerned about the potential consequences, you can explain that you’re not willing to take the risk.
For example, you could say, “I don’t think it’s a good idea. I’m worried that it could complicate things and potentially hurt us both in the long run.”
Case 2: Tips to handle if you are interested in fwb with your ex:
If you’re interested in being friends with benefits with your ex fwb, make sure that both parties are on the same page and understand that this is purely a physical arrangement.
You should be clear about your expectations and establish boundaries, such as not contacting each other outside of the arrangement. It’s important to communicate openly and make sure both parties are comfortable with the situation.
Make sure that you’re comfortable with your decision and that it aligns with your personal values.
For example, if you believe in honesty and transparency, you must communicate openly with your ex about your expectations and boundaries.
Talk about the potential consequences and risks. For example, you could have a conversation with your ex about what would happen if one of you starts developing feelings again.
Or if one of you wants to end the arrangement. It’s important to be realistic and honest with yourself about what you want and what you’re willing to risk.
Also read: Why does my fwb text me everyday?
20 Reasons why your ex wants to be friends with benefits
Here are some of the reasons why your ex wants to be friends with benefits:
1. Emotional Attachment:
Your ex may still have strong emotional attachments to you, and may find it hard to let go of that connection.
They may feel that by continuing to have a physical relationship with you, they can hold onto the emotional connection they feel. For example, they may feel a sense of comfort and safety when they’re with you.
2. Comfort and Familiarity:
Your ex may enjoy the familiarity and comfort of being with someone they already know. This may be especially true if they have been in a long-term relationship with you.
They may find it hard to adjust to the idea of being alone or with someone new. For example, they may feel more relaxed and at ease with you than with someone new.
3. Fear of Loneliness:
Your ex may feel lonely and want to avoid the hassle of finding a new partner.
They may not be ready to commit to a new relationship, or they may feel that they don’t have the time or energy to go through the process of dating again.
For example, they may find it hard to imagine meeting someone new and starting over.
4. Seeking Validation:
Your ex may be seeking validation and affirmation that they are still desirable and wanted.
They may be using the physical relationship as a way of boosting their self-esteem.
For example, they may feel good about themselves when they’re with you and want to continue feeling that way.
Your ex may be trying to hold onto the past and the memories you shared together.
They may be using the physical relationship as a way of reliving those memories and keeping them alive.
For example, they may feel a strong sense of nostalgia when they’re with you and want to continue experiencing that feeling.
6. Fear of Change:
Your ex may be afraid of change and may find it hard to imagine a future without you in it.
They may be using the physical relationship as a way of holding onto the past and avoiding the unknown.
For example, they may feel anxious about the idea of moving on and starting a new chapter in their life.
Your ex may view the physical relationship as convenient and easy.
They may not want to put in the effort required to maintain a full-fledged relationship, but still want the benefits of physical intimacy.
For example, they may want to avoid the emotional work of a relationship, but still want to experience physical pleasure.
Your ex may be using the physical relationship as a way of maintaining control over you.
They may feel that by continuing to have a physical relationship with you, they can keep you in their life and prevent you from moving on.
For example, they may feel threatened by the idea of you being with someone new and want to maintain their grip on you.
Your ex may be seeking revenge or trying to hurt you by suggesting a friends-with-benefits arrangement.
They may be using the physical relationship as a way of getting back at you for something you did or said.
For example, they may want to make you jealous or hurt you emotionally.
Your ex may be feeling insecure and unsure about themselves.
They may be using the physical relationship as a way of feeling more confident and self-assured.
For example, they may feel more confident about their sexual prowess when they’re with you.
11. Fear of Commitment:
Your ex may be afraid of commitment and may not want to enter into a full-fledged relationship.
They may be using the physical relationship as a way of avoiding commitment while still getting their physical needs met.
For example, they may not be ready for a serious relationship, but still want to experience physical intimacy.
12. Sexual Attraction:
Your ex may simply be sexually attracted to you and want to continue having a physical relationship.
They may view the physical relationship as separate from any emotional attachment or commitment.
For example, they may be attracted to your physical appearance or the way you make them feel physically, but not feel the same level of emotional connection.
13. Lack of Boundaries:
Your ex may have trouble setting boundaries and may not be able to distinguish between a friendship and a friends-with-benefits relationship.
They may be using the physical relationship as a way of blurring those lines and maintaining a close connection.
For example, they may not be able to say no to physical intimacy even though they know it’s not healthy for them emotionally.
14. Unresolved Issues:
Your ex may have unresolved issues with you or the relationship, and may be using the physical relationship as a way of working through those issues.
They may be hoping that by continuing to have physical intimacy with you, they can eventually resolve any lingering emotional issues.
For example, they may feel hurt or betrayed by something you did during the relationship and want to work through those feelings.
15. Mutual Agreement:
It’s possible that both you and your ex have agreed to a friends-with-benefits arrangement.
This may be a conscious decision based on a mutual understanding that a full-fledged relationship is not desirable or feasible at the moment.
For example, you may both acknowledge that you have busy schedules or other commitments that make it difficult to pursue a traditional relationship.
16. Non-monogamous approach:
Your ex might believe in the concept of non-monogamy, where people can have multiple sexual relationships without it detracting from the quality of each individual relationship.
For instance, they might see being friends with benefits as just one of many sexual relationships they can have.
17. Existentialist approach:
Your ex might believe that life has no inherent meaning or purpose, so they focus on experiencing pleasure and avoiding pain.
For example, they might see being friends with benefits as a way to experience pleasure without the pain of commitment.
Being friends with benefits might be the most convenient option for your ex at the moment.
For example, they might have a busy schedule and don’t want to invest time and effort in finding a new partner.
19. Low expectations:
Your ex might not have high expectations for the relationship, and being friends with benefits fits their current needs.
For instance, they might be looking for a no-strings-attached arrangement that doesn’t require emotional investment.
20. Minimal risk:
Being friends with benefits might seem like a low-risk option for your ex.
For example, they might feel that they have less to lose if the relationship ends compared to a committed relationship.
In conclusion, deciding whether to be friends with benefits with an ex is a difficult decision that requires careful consideration of both your emotions and logic.
While it may seem like a tempting proposition, it’s important to take into account the reasons behind your ex’s proposal and the potential impact it could have on your mental and emotional health.
Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide whether being friends with benefits is the right choice for you.
If you do decide to pursue this type of relationship, make sure to communicate openly and honestly with your ex, set clear boundaries, and prioritize your own well-being above all else.
Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship that brings you happiness and fulfillment, and only you can determine what that looks like for you.