How to get over someone you love who doesn’t love you back? (complete guide with 10 tips)

By: Naveen B

We’ve all been there – you find someone you really like or love, but they don’t love you back. They act like they do, but you know it’s not true because every time they look at you, they immediately look away or change the subject.

The worst part of this situation is that it makes us feel terrible and we often end up trying to get over them in unhealthy ways.

How to get over someone you love who doesn’t love you back? This is one of those questions that just about everyone can relate to.

Whether it’s a friend, a family member or a significant other – there’s nothing worse than falling for someone who either can’t see your appeal or isn’t interested in being with you.

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It sucks. I mean, what do we have if not our ability to choose who we want in our lives? And yet, sometimes it happens and then we’re stuck trying to figure out how on earth we can possibly move past it and be happy again.

In fact, as per psychologists, unresolved romantic rejection ranks right up there among all forms of trauma with regards to its long-term effects on mental health. 

When someone you care about doesn’t reciprocate that feeling, it’s easy to get lost in your own emotions and fall into a downward spiral of sadness.

However, getting over them is not only possible; it’s critical for both your emotional well-being and happiness. You can find ways to feel better, but it’s crucial that you don’t dwell in self-pity.

In short: getting over someone you love when they don’t feel the same way is really hard, but here are some tips that may help ease your pain along the way.

But first lets be clear,

What is it called when you love someone but they don’t love you back?

It’s called unrequited love, and it may be familiar to anyone who has ever been rejected. It happens when one person loves another but that person is not able or willing to feel or return those feelings.

What is unrequited love?

Unrequited love is a condition in which one person loves another person but his or her feelings are not reciprocated. It’s also known as one-sided love, when your affections aren’t returned by your desired partner.

Signs and Symptoms of Unrequited Love are Sometimes referred to as one-sided love, unrequited feelings can be emotionally draining and even physically painful.

They often come with a sense of longing for something that seems unobtainable. Because there is no outlet for those emotions, they may become focused on an idea as a substitute for another person.

How to get over someone you love who doesn’t love you back?

The person whom you are attracted to doesn’t reciprocate with your feelings has his/her own reasons. We don’t blame them for that. 

However, here the problem is with your own emotions. And the irony is, you are aware that the person is not in love with you yet you allow yourself to go through this traumatic experience.

How can you do that to yourself even after the realization?

This is nothing but pure negligence. Your behaviour is entirely based on irrationality and you are being manipulated by your own emotions.

And most importantly you are just self-sabotaging for someone who doesn’t even care about the status of your existence.

I find there is no meaning in your suffering. How can you let yourself suffer alone when there is clearly no reason to go through all this nonsensical emotional trauma?

If you both loved and if something tragic happened and then you broke up with them, that’s something to consider. But, in your case, there is involvement of immaturity, oversensitivity, and irrationality.

The only way to get over someone you love who doesn’t love you back is by just coming out of your intrusive thoughts and analyzing the situation you put yourself into. Once you come into your rational thoughts, everything makes sense to you. 

Your love is completely based on attraction and nothing more than that. That’s not a love at all in the first place. So, there is no need to do that for yourself. 

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You are in a state of belief that he/she will change his/her feelings for you by some miracle or act of God! 

You continuously keep thinking about him/her and want to know everything about him/her even though it hurts so much because deep down inside you know it’s all just your fantasy.

So basically it’s time for a reality check. You need to stop fantasizing and get hit by reality.

Accepting reality can be hard sometimes but by accepting what’s really going on inside your mind helps you move forward in life and eventually will help you get over someone you love who doesn’t love you back.

I know it’s easy to say getting over or letting go but harder to put into practice especially when we are emotionally invested in someone whom we care deeply for without being loved in return.

But trust me, once you put your perspective into place and analyze your own situation with a logical mindset instead of emotions, then soon, you will get over the person you love and be prepared for the next love with so much maturity and experience.

How to deal with unrequited love?

how to deal with unrequited love How to get over someone you love who doesn't love you back? (complete guide with 10 tips)

When you love someone who doesn’t or can’t love you back, you may become sad and hopeless. you often think that he/she is wasting your precious time and energy. 

However, it’s totally up to you whether you let your unrequited love turn into pain or into a beautiful experience in life. You just need to adjust yourself quickly and start enjoying your life again. 

In one-sided love, working through your feelings will require patience and persistence while allowing yourself to remain open to how your feeling will change in time. 

After all, while many relationships end after rejection, that’s not always true; sometimes people move on together while other times one person remains pining for their lost lover. If you’re lucky enough to find yourself in the second situation, let go of your hopes. 

A relationship between two people whose feelings don’t match up generally isn’t meant to be long term—even if it feels like it should be. As painful as it is right now, you need to release those emotions before they pull you under.

So to achieve that here are some steps to get over someone you love who doesn’t love you back.

10 Tips to get over someone you love who doesn’t love you back.

1. Be mature:

You can’t force feelings, and you certainly don’t want to push them away. If your feeling of love is unrequited, give him/her time to grow into something more or let go of his/her feelings for you. 

There’s no sense in hanging on if they aren’t interested—it won’t help your relationship in any way; it will only make it worse.

Take care of yourself: If you really like someone but he/she has no interest in pursuing a relationship with you then accept that it isn’t meant to be.

2. Think rationally:

Be sure that you’re ready to accept what has happened and that it’s not just something that is temporary.

You need to feel like it’s done; otherwise, your feelings will resurface when he/she becomes involved with someone else.

It isn’t easy getting over an unrequited crush, but there are ways of moving on quicker.

3. Don’t act like a lovesick puppy:

You can still be his/her friend, but don’t go over-the-top with your attention. 

Avoid seeking attention or always asking for his/her opinion or trying to spend every minute of your day with him/her; that isn’t normal. Set boundaries for yourself and have self-worth.

4. Be active:

The best way to do that is by spending time with friends or by doing something physical, such as exercising or writing. 

Whatever makes you feel better emotionally will help clear out your negative feelings so that you can begin rebuilding a positive outlook.

5. Stop fantasizing:

Put down any expectations of recovery times because they only add more pressure on top of an already stressful emotional situation. 

Instead, allow yourself time and space for healing and try not to look too far into your future when it comes to your relationship with someone who doesn’t love you back.

6. Don’t be too needy:

If your crush just wants to be friends then stop saying that you love him/her all of a sudden or asking if he/she loves you too.

If it’s meant to be, then something will come along for him/her and he/she will realize what is really there.

Don’t wait around for him/her, but do show yourself some care so that you can move on with your life in a positive manner.

7. Grieve and heal:

Remember that there is light at the end of whatever tunnel you’re stuck in, and that light will grow brighter in time—as long as you let go and give yourself a chance to heal. 

Realize that although your feelings of love are strong, it’s not worth giving yourself a hard time if he/she isn’t feeling similarly for you.

Realize that although it is painful now, it will eventually fade and you will have better days ahead; take comfort in knowing there are many others out there suffering from unrequited love right now as well – and they’ll survive it too.

8. Take help:

If these steps don’t help, consider talking with a therapist or spiritual advisor about how best to handle unrequited feelings when they surface in your life.

Give your best friend a call and tell him/her about how you feel. Your close friends will understand and won’t pressure you into doing something that isn’t right for you, and they can offer advice and emotional support during a difficult time.

Consider calling a counselor if your feelings don’t improve after a few weeks; unrequited love can often be confused with depression or another mental illness, so it’s better to be safe than sorry in such cases.

9. Let go:

Consider letting go so that you can find someone who will truly return those same feelings and make sure those positive thoughts and emotions stay intact for as long as possible.

The biggest thing to remember at all times is that any time spent waiting for something means less time actually living.

This may be an extreme example, but imagine what could happen if you spend years pining away after someone instead of putting all of your efforts into pursuing your dream career or writing a novel.

10. Work on your future:

The time wasted would be enormous, but even worse would be what might not get done along the way without focusing on opportunities right in front of you. 

Work on your future and use your energy for something good: It’s hard not having a relationship when others do, but don’t focus on that.

There will be plenty of time in your life when relationships are easy to come by—use it wisely. Right now, put all of your focus into other things; school, work or anything else that will make you a better person in general.

Don’t wait around: Don’t wait around and hope he/she comes to his/her senses; chances are it won’t happen.

Final Thoughts.

My final thoughts on how to get over someone you love who doesn’t love you back is that there are certainly exceptions, but most cases of unrequited love don’t last forever no matter how painful they may seem while they’re happening—especially considering most people recover from being rejected within weeks rather than months or years. 

No matter how broken up you feel right now, there is a light at the end of that tunnel. It may take some time and self-care before you can see it clearly, but everything happens for a reason and every situation has a silver lining if we look hard enough for it. 

Stay strong and move forward with your life knowing that things will work out for the best as long as you continue doing what makes you happy and allowing yourself to heal and grow into an even better version of yourself than ever before.

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Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry. His expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few. To be updated with his latest work, connect with him by following his social media accounts.

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