Relationships are hard work, and they can be difficult to maintain over the long term if both partners aren’t putting in the necessary effort to work things out.
But knowing when is it time to leave a long-term relationship can be even harder than staying together until you figure it out.
Of course, every relationship has its fair share of difficulties, and many couples thrive on the challenges that life throws at them to keep their relationship fresh and strong.
However, every relationship also has its point where it’s simply not worth continuing anymore.
And there are some serious red flags that indicate it’s not worth your time or energy to keep trying to keep things going with your partner.
There are times when you know it’s time to leave a long-term relationship, and then there are the other times when you’re not so sure.
You don’t want to end things before you’ve given it your all, but you also don’t want to waste years of your life in an unhappy situation that can’t be fixed with therapy or medication (or both).
Recommended reading for you: How to know when to leave a relationship? (complete guide)
- When is it time to leave a long-term relationship?
- How do you know if your relationship with someone is healthy or unhealthy?
- 13 signs that tell when to leave a long term relationship
- 1. When you’re no longer a priority in your partner’s life.
- 2. When you are constantly fighting with your partner.
- 3. When you feel like something is missing in your relationship.
- 4. When you no longer make each other happy anymore.
- 5. When you are not your true self anymore while you are with him/her.
- 6. When there is no mutual understanding and incompatibility.
- 7. When there is no passion or love left in your relationship anymore.
- 8. When you can no longer move forward in your relationship. (No commitment)
- 9. When your partner is overcontrolling and abusive in nature.
- 10. When your partner shows no support for anything you do anymore.
- 11. When you are truly in love with someone else.
- 12. When you can't trust your partner.
- 13. When your partner has no responsibility for life.
When is it time to leave a long-term relationship?
It is hard to tell and there is no exact time to leave a long-term relationship.
If both partners truly want to invest in their almost damaged relationship, they can still make it together till the end and start over again with a fresh realization and matured experience.
Even after you put your soul and heart into it and still struggling to find that chemistry, then you can decide to take that major step.
However, you should consider some patterns if your long-term relationship is failing.
How often do you feel alone, excluded, or lonely in your relationship? In a healthy relationship, partners have one another’s backs and show support.
If you constantly feel isolated from your partner or if you find yourself emotionally abandoned, if your partner belittles, abuses, or humiliates you.
If you simply don’t feel right in your relationship anymore—if there’s something missing—that could also be a sign that things aren’t working. All these are sure signs to leave a relationship.
Don’t try to force yourself into staying with someone for whom you don’t have feelings; ending a long-term romantic partnership is rarely easy, but it might just free both of you up for more fulfilling love down the road. Love can wait, but only for so long.
Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and trust. If these foundations are not present, you may need to seriously consider what else your relationship has to offer.
How do you know if your relationship with someone is healthy or unhealthy?
Often, this can be difficult to tell; abusive relationships do not always begin physically abusive. Relationships take work, commitment, and a willingness to adapt and change with your partner.
Here are some warning signs that your relationship may not be as healthy as you think.
Signs of an unhealthy relationship:
1. Jealousy: One partner is possessive of the other and/or tries to control their behavior
2. Dishonesty: One or both partners are dishonest about their feelings/emotions/interests/activities or lie about important things
3. Manipulation: One partner tries to control the other by playing on emotions, making them feel guilty or fearful, or making them believe they are responsible for things they aren’t
4. Lack of boundaries: One person doesn’t respect the physical, emotional, and/or intellectual space of the other person
5. Poor communication: One person doesn’t listen well to the other person; one or both people don’t share openly with each other; one person doesn’t make an effort to understand what the other is saying
6. Contempt: One person disrespects, criticizes or belittles the other; An unhealthy partner treats the other as if he/she is the reason for their unfulfilled life and behaves with toxicity and narcissistic nature.
13 signs that tell when to leave a long term relationship
If you see a pattern, it’s a good time to think about ending your relationship—no matter how long you’ve been together. And if none of these fit your situation, that’s OK! Sometimes relationships end because they’re meant to end.
You may have changed or grown apart or maybe you both realized that you never really loved each other at all.
But most importantly: If something doesn’t feel right anymore, it’s not right for you and if someone is doing more harm than good in your life—leave!
Here are 13 signs that tell you it might be time to end your long-term relationship.
1. When you’re no longer a priority in your partner’s life.
No one wants to feel as if they are an afterthought to their partner.
But unfortunately, that is something that can happen with long-term relationships, especially if children have come into play and there’s been a lull in passion between two people who once were absolutely inseparable from each other.
2. When you are constantly fighting with your partner.
No one wants to constantly fight with their partner, but sometimes it’s unavoidable because of differing opinions or values that can often be irreconcilable if no compromise is made on either end.
Sometimes there are issues that need to be resolved before a real conversation can even take place, and when you find yourself no longer getting along, there’s really nothing more to save in your relationship after that point if it isn’t fixed immediately.
If you feel like you constantly fight with your partner over everything, constantly picking fights and then breaking up only to get back together again, these could also be signs that it’s time to call it quits.
On The Bright Side: Being honest about how you feel—and setting boundaries so others respect them too—can actually strengthen your bond rather than break it apart! Just remember: Going through a breakup doesn’t mean you didn’t care about each other.
3. When you feel like something is missing in your relationship.
If you feel missing, then there is probably a reason for it, and unless both of you are willing to address that problem at hand and work together to find a solution or compromise.
There really isn’t anything that can be done to restore what once was an amazing partnership because one of you has simply lost interest and without reciprocation, nothing will ever change.
4. When you no longer make each other happy anymore.
Happiness and a feeling of fulfillment are something we all need to have in our lives.
And if you find yourself walking on eggshells around your partner, or worse yet, walking away from them because it’s simply easier than dealing with an issue then there really isn’t anything left to say except to move on.
You can’t force someone to love or like or even appreciate you; that has to come from within and if one person isn’t willing then it may be time to look elsewhere for those feelings.
5. When you are not your true self anymore while you are with him/her.
Feeling like you can never speak your mind or disagree with them or that they are constantly walking all over you is something that no one deserves to have in their life.
And whether it’s intentional or not, if it happens enough then something needs to be done about it if only to maintain what once was a great relationship.
If you feel that you have lost your entire self and have difficulty being your true self around your partner. Then his/her energy is not good for your emotional health.
If you constantly live in fear and feel insecure about yourself while they are around, then definitely you should realize that you are in a toxic relationship. You can’t stay in a relationship when you are no longer your true self.
So, consider opening up yourself and communicating your situation before making any major decisions.
6. When there is no mutual understanding and incompatibility.
Despite making an effort to resolve your issues with communication and compromise, you still cannot come to mutually agreeable solutions—your partner continues to refuse or otherwise undermine your input.
You seem unable to change things even though both of you say you want it.
Your relationship is especially lacking when one or both partners have lost interest but continue on despite their lack of enthusiasm for what should be a meaningful connection.
This may happen because either person has low self-esteem or a poor sense of personal boundaries and love compatibility issues.
And without healthy understanding between each other, conflicts tend to escalate over time into anger, resentment, and emotional abuse.
7. When there is no passion or love left in your relationship anymore.
An obvious sign that you two weren’t working as a couple anymore is when your feelings no longer match up.
When you love someone deeply, part of that love comes from wanting them to be happy—but if they don’t share that same level of love for you anymore, it might be time to move on.
Passion and chemistry are something that you should have for life and never lose, and if that’s been lost from a relationship then all that really has to be done at that point is to accept defeat and move on before it’s too late.
Because as much as we try to do what we love for a living, love in our personal lives shouldn’t be sacrificed for anything or anyone else if they aren’t willing to do what it takes to make it work.
8. When you can no longer move forward in your relationship. (No commitment)
Commitment and constant nurturing are healthy ways to build a strong relationship. If your long-term relationship becomes stagnant and you no longer feel any hope for anything better from that point on.
If you feel stuck and if you think your relationship is going nowhere, or worse yet, is headed down a path where things are only going to get worse, then now is definitely not a good time to be fighting to keep something alive simply out of obligation or fear of being alone.
Be smart about your decisions and don’t settle for something that isn’t what you really want.
You may lose some people along the way but at least you won’t have to deal with them telling you they are happy when they are not nor having them ruin all of your future relationships with their negativity.
9. When your partner is overcontrolling and abusive in nature.
Some people just have different values and beliefs than others, but if they are being forced into your life then it may be time to move on before they drag you down with them, even if it means starting over again from scratch.
A sense of freedom and connection is crucial in any relationship. If he/she constantly tries to control you every moment for their own selfish reasons that’s definitely abusive behavior.
Remember, it’s better to be alone than to feel like half a person with someone who isn’t willing to meet you halfway or compromise their ideals for yours anymore.
Sometimes it’s best not to fight for something that no longer exists in order to avoid heartache later down the road because eventually there will come a time when there really is nothing left worth fighting for.
10. When your partner shows no support for anything you do anymore.
Without support, what is left in a relationship but two very different individuals who no longer have anything to share with one another. And don’t enjoy each other’s company as much as they used to anymore.
Because neither one of them is happy or satisfied with how things are between them.
That kind of dissatisfaction can easily lead to both partners feeling like they need something more and simply no longer putting in enough effort to make it work with someone who doesn’t show support for their choices and goals anyway.
Instead, maybe try searching for someone who inspires you to be better than yourself on a daily basis instead of dragging you down by doing nothing but bringing negativity into your life.
11. When you are truly in love with someone else.
If you are still in love with someone else, then leaving your current partner is always going to be something that is done in order to make room for someone else in your life.
Because true love isn’t something that should be taken for granted when it comes along.
Especially when you think you’ve found it or when it’s right there in front of you waiting for you to see how good things could really be between both of you if only you would take a chance on happiness together.
12. When you can’t trust your partner.
Without trust, there is no love and without love, what has left but a shell of a person who has lost everything they once valued in their relationship.
Nothing really, and that’s why when you find yourself having to second guess your partner over things that seem trivial than it may be time to move on before that situation turns into something even worse than what already has happened.
Losing something that means so much to someone simply because they fear losing something more in life never ends well for anyone involved.
And in a long-term relationship, not having faith in your partner can be devastating very quickly if it’s not taken care of at its onset.
Dishonesty in a relationship is not only damaging, but it’s also completely unacceptable.
When you find yourself second-guessing what your partner is telling you or where they are going because of their lying, that’s when things go from bad to worse very quickly and there may be nothing more to fix after that point.
13. When your partner has no responsibility for life.
If your partner isn’t willing to take any of their own responsibilities seriously and not even working to meet the basic necessities of households or failing to create a career in their life, then the relationship is soon going to fall apart anyway.
It’s important that both partners should share some responsibilities and not overburden everything on a single person if you are financially unstable in life.
Otherwise, things become harder than they should be just because they don’t think about how their actions affect others or themselves anymore.
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