How to get over someone you never dated? (complete guide in 5 steps)

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By: Naveen B

So, you’re in love with a person and they aren’t aware of it, or they don’t feel the same way about you, or even though they know but never dated. This can be devastating and confusing because you didn’t even date them.

Not only did it not work out, but now you have to figure out how to move on when there isn’t much history between you. 

That is a very common situation, especially among women.

So many people have been in a situation where they feel an incredible connection with another person, but they’re unable to take it anywhere because there’s no official relationship status at play.

It can be frustrating and, honestly, a little bit embarrassing.

It can be particularly difficult when you still think about that person all of the time and relive memories of hanging out or talking for hours.

But, if you are truly committed to how to get over someone you never dated, you can easily do that if you put your mind to it.

Recommended reading for you: How to get over someone you love who doesn’t love you back? (complete guide)

You can follow this guide, I have put 5 steps to get over someone you never dated and for each step, there are 5 tips that will help you to realize, reflect, and move on from someone you love even though never had them.

How long does it take to get over someone you never dated?

Research has shown that it takes people about 18 days to one year on average to get over a break-up. While some people will be able to move on more quickly, for others it could take longer.

Moving on after a breakup involves more than simply ignoring your ex or getting back out there. If you are trying to do these things, you are more likely to prolong your healing process.

Although no one wants to go through a break-up, taking time away from each other is often good for relationships.

You can actually learn something new about yourself and your partner once separated, which can help determine whether or not you should continue seeing each other after all.

How to get over someone you never dated?

how to get over someone you never had How to get over someone you never dated? (complete guide in 5 steps)

How to get over someone you never dated? Getting over someone you never even dated may seem like a very specific case—but it should be relatively easy since all of your feelings are based on wishful thinking and not reality. 

Get rid of these feelings by imagining that he or she is already dating another person or they are just a stranger who crossed your path. This will make it easier for you to realize that it’s time to move on.

The more people or activities that take your mind off them, the quicker you will get over someone you never had.

It might help if every time something reminds you of your crush, make a conscious effort not to think about it because usually if we try not to think about something, our minds automatically go back there instead.

Nonetheless, the only thing you can do in a situation like yours is to get over someone you never had and try to find happiness elsewhere.

Even though it’s easier said than done, you need to let go—completely—of your attachment to them and think of them as nothing more than a friend or acquaintances.

They’re going to be around in your life for a while after all, so it wouldn’t hurt if they became friends in some capacity rather than harboring negative feelings toward each other.

Give yourself a deadline: On a completely unrelated note, give yourself a timeline before moving on from them entirely

If you know that three months from now, say, will be when you’ll stop thinking about them at all, then things will become easier to deal with along the way because there’s a goal in sight.

Tell yourself that seeing or hearing about them won’t affect you anymore by that date and stick to it even if it takes longer for you.

In any case, having an end date will make getting over them far less painful down the road because there won’t be any waiting involved; everything will simply happen within a given period of time.

You should also take advantage of these instances where they show up in your life after making peace with letting go: Be cordial when possible but don’t tell too much information about what’s going on inside your head.

After all, you want them to think that things are going smoothly for you and that there’s no reason why they shouldn’t be able to do it again as well—right?

Remember that time is a great healer. In other words, if you’ve been trying very hard and still feel as though things aren’t moving along as quickly as you’d like them to, remember that time will make everything better if given enough of it.

Of course, patience isn’t one of your virtues so I doubt knowing something like that will help you out at all; however, be assured that three months or so from now will bring more good memories than bad ones if only because there’ll be less time for them afterward.

The bottom line is that you’re still young and have plenty of time to find happiness elsewhere with someone else, even though it might seem as though those opportunities won’t present themselves anytime soon. 

Recommended reading: How to get over someone who hurt you?

5 Steps to get over someone you never dated or had.

tips to get over someone you never dated How to get over someone you never dated? (complete guide in 5 steps)

Here are 5 steps that help you on how to get over someone you never had.

Step 1: Be realistic about your expectations.

Sometimes, what we want isn’t realistic. When it comes to love, sometimes we find ourselves head-over-heels for someone who only ever sees us as a friend. When that happens—the solution is not to try and win them over anyway.

In fact, it may be in your best interest to walk away from a situation like that completely. Think about why you have feelings for someone in the first place.

If you are under the impression they are perfect for you simply because they are hot or s#xy, then your expectations will probably not be met.

No one can meet all of our needs all of the time. Ask yourself if that person has qualities aside from their looks that would make them an amazing partner long term.

If their looks are why they appeal to you, then there’s nothing wrong with keeping things light and just having fun flirting with someone attractive.

But if you’re looking for something more serious, physical attraction may fade down the road and at some point could actually work against your future relationship rather than help it flourish.

5 tips to be realistic about your expectations and get over someone you never had.

1. Focus on their personality and character, not just how they look physically and stop fantasizing about being two of you together.

2. Ask yourself how that person see you in general? If he/she sets boundaries for themselves, respect them. And don’t ruin your formal relationship when they are clearly not interested in you.

3.  If you feel that your crush is not that into you, be realistic about it! Accept their decision and move on with your life. Don’t wait for them hoping they’ll change their mind someday. It’s not going to happen so give up if he/she doesn’t have feelings for you anymore!

4. If you have been attracted to that person from a far, then ask yourself if they actually have qualities that would make them an amazing partner for a long term relationship with your personality and values in mind?

If so, proceed to step number 2. If not, cut your losses while it’s still early enough and move on with your life without them!

5. If your feelings for that person keep coming back, remind yourself why it’s important for you not to be in a relationship right now and whether their presence could potentially sabotage your goals in life? If so, give up on them and move on with your life without any regrets! 

People Also read: 50 Questions to ask before first date

Step 2: Don’t seek attention from your crush in unhealthy ways.

Trying to win your crush’s attention when you know nothing will come of it can backfire in a big way. It can lead to jealousy, paranoia, social awkwardness and all kinds of other bad behavior. 

Even if everything goes well for a while, it still leads nowhere. Plus, since most crushes are totally out of your control in some way or another, anything that is outside of your control is not worth putting energy into.

If there’s no chance at all of getting together with him or her in any way, what’s the point in stressing yourself out trying to make something happen? It won’t be worth it!

5 tips to protect your self worth and get over attention seeking.

1. Do not flaunt your body or clothes in front of them, if they see it they’ll assume that you want something from them, even if there’s nothing there. Just think about your modesty. 

And don’t make any advances on them! There is no gain in trying to seduce or tempt anyone who isn’t responding.

2. Become such a disciplined person and so attractive that people will approach you and ask you whether you are single or committed to someone.

3. If your crush says or does anything that makes your heart skip a beat, do not respond! he/she may be trying to make your jealousy work in his favor by making it seem like he’s interested when he really isn’t. If you show interest, it could make him think you are available. So be busy building yourself.

4.Don’t interfere in his/her personal or current relationships. Instead, focus on improving yourself So, that they may get impressed by your progress and be in touch with you as an acquaintance.

5. Accept that sometimes we have crushes or attractions for people who can’t possibly reciprocate our feelings because they are already involved with someone else who means more to them than we do.

Step 3: Avoid people who are closer to the person you never dated.

It may sound silly, but we as humans can be jealous and vindictive, especially when people we like are closer to others.

It’s easy to make up stories in our heads about how much happier they are now that they’re with someone else.

The best way to avoid those feelings is to make sure your time with those people is limited; if you have mutual friends or colleagues, be careful not to let things go too far—try not to meet up more than once a week for drinks or so on.

The other reason to avoid them is because you can get rid of the memories or reminders of your crush when you are with his/her close circle.

It can really help preserve your sanity, at least until it’s easier for you to come back around.

People Also read: 100 Questions to ask yourself before dating and falling in love with someone new

5 tips to avoid people who are closer to your crush.

1. Don’t follow all his/her friends in social media and stop liking all the pictures they upload in their feed. Give yourself a break from all the things that remind you of them.

2. Try not to be in places where there is a high chance of bumping into them when they’re with their friends.

3. If you absolutely have to hang out with people who are close to your crush, make sure not to do so very often so that you won’t get too attached.

4. Don’t ask them for advice or opinions about your crush.

5.  Do not bring up the topic and not talk about your crush with people who are close to him/her.

Step 4: Treat yourself well and give it a time to get over someone you never dated

It’s important to realize that even though getting over someone you never dated is important, it can be very damaging (physically and mentally) if rushed.

For example, some people engage in self-harm after getting out of a relationship, but they don’t really know how they got there. 

They might have cut themselves off from society for a couple of days and have spent all their time watching Netflix.

The best thing is not indulging yourself too much because it will keep your mind stuck on what happened. Instead, try going out with friends or family or try a new hobby – these things will give you something else to think about besides your crush.

5 Tips to take care of yourself and give it a time to forget someone you never had.

1. Go outside! – Getting outside can do wonders for your health and well-being.

2. Avoid self-harm – Self-harm is a very dangerous thing as it can lead to depression, anxiety and even suicide if it isn’t treated right away.

3. Vent your feelings – Venting about what’s bothering you can be very therapeutic, even if it doesn’t solve your problems. It’s often better than bottling things up.

4. Give yourself time – Just because your heart is broken doesn’t mean it can’t be healed again. Give yourself some time to heal before making any life-changing decisions or meeting new people, especially romantic partners.

5. Don’t be afraid of rejection – Getting rejected doesn’t make you a bad person or unlovable, it just means that your relationship with them wasn’t right for either of you at that time.

Step 5: Start dating someone you deserve and who truly loves you.

After giving a break, when you feel whole and yourself again, set out to find that ideal guy. Don’t date because you are lonely or looking for distraction; there is no greater heartbreak than falling in love with someone who just doesn’t care.

Start by keeping your standards high, but not so high that it feels like torture—happily ever afters do exist! Also remember that attraction isn’t everything; chemistry is wonderful, but not necessary.

Find someone who makes you laugh and enjoys laughing with you too. You want to be able to talk about anything (and everything) with him.

5 tips to starting dating someone who shares similar values and feelings.

1. Don’t rush it: Give yourself time to heal before jumping back into a relationship with anyone—no matter how long or short your last one was.

2. Create a new, healthy cycle: If you’re not ready for a relationship yet, don’t date just for fun or to fill an empty space in your life.

3. Don’t be afraid of rejection: Approach dating as a chance to meet new people, rather than as a barometer for your self-worth or identity.

4. Remember why you’re doing it: You’re dating for love, not therapy or a distraction from your problems.

5. Have fun!: You’re starting your life together, not on a diet or exercise routine; do it for all of the joys, not just because of its benefits for your appearance.

Final thoughts:

My Final thoughts on how to get over someone you never dated are keep busy, discover yourself and build your future with someone who will be with you for the rest of your life. 

It’s hard to keep your mind off of that person when they’re all you think about. You need to fill your time with other people and things.

Make sure that you don’t sit around all day thinking about them, because it will kill your heart. If you want to be able to fall in love again in no time, just do something with your life every day so you can’t think about what happened.

Or maybe if he or she contacts you again, talk to him or her. Maybe he or she wants another chance so badly that he or she is trying his/her hardest to come back into your life again.

But if not, move on with your life!! Who knows one day soon maybe he/she will love you too or you will come across a person who is completely perfect for you.

Just realize, everything happens for a reason. Don’t lose hope and have faith. Good luck.

Recommended reading: How to get over someone you love deeply?

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Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry. His expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few. To be updated with his latest work, connect with him by following his social media accounts.

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