Sometimes, we just need a little stress relief without getting involved in a full-blown romance.
If you’re interested in someone who is your best friend but don’t think that you can emotionally handle a relationship, you may want to consider being just best friends—with benefits.
Think of it as an opportunity for a little s#xual healing while still maintaining your independence and avoiding all of the drama (and potential heartbreak) of a more serious relationship.
Also read: Does friends with benefits actually work?
To be fair, there are many reasons why friends with benefits is not for everyone—but if you’re comfortable fooling around behind closed doors and being honest about your feelings once things get too heated or heavy, then it might be worth exploring further.
In this guide let’s discuss particularly about best friends with benefits.
What is best friends with benefits?
Best friends with benefits meaning: The act of being “best friends” and having benefits with them. It involves a little s#xual healing without getting into a full-blown romance.
This can be a fun way to get some action while still maintaining your independence and avoiding all of the drama (and potential heartbreak) of a more serious relationship.
However, if you’re feeling like things might start getting too hot and heavy between you two, then it might be wise to end things before one or both people become attached.
There are many reasons why Friends With Benefits relationships don’t work out: maybe one person isn’t able to keep things casual, perhaps someone’s commitment issues kick in at an inopportune time and so on.
What does best friends with benefits mean?
Best friends with benefits is quite different from casual friends with benefits. The former requires much more communication and emotional support than simply making out with someone without commitment.
And, when you’re dealing with your best friend, emotions tend to run much deeper. As best friends know each other better, there is somehow mutual understanding, trust, Physically and emotionally comfortable to share their personal life and honest communication flows in best friends with benefits rather than stranger friends with benefits.
So, instead of choosing a random fling they initiate a FWBR with their best friend. Although the idea of normal friends with benefits and best friends with benefits is exactly same.
But the only difference is that, in best friends with benefits there are chances of turning Casual FWBR into a long-term committed relationship as there is much compatibility between both sides and both would like for relationship but due to lack of commitment don’t want to lose friendship by doing so.
Also read: 20 Benefits of friends with benefits
In short, friends with benefits can also turn into serious relationships; however, if either person wants something serious or feels pressure to be something more then it’s important to talk about it early on so neither party becomes attached.
Because usually once feelings come into play these s#xual encounters no longer feel like they used too or had any sort of meaning behind them which can cause negative feelings towards a potential benefits partner.
How to ask your best friend to be in friends with benefits relationship?
On a first date, tell your potential best friends with benefits partner that you’re interested in trying out a FWBR.
It may seem harsh to say out loud, but having that conversation early on can help prevent potential heartbreak down the road when things get too emotional and someone gets attached before they were supposed to.
For example, Hey, I had fun tonight and would like to hang out again. But I’d also be open to exploring more casual physical relationships if you are open. This way you’ve put it all out there right off of bat so neither person can be caught off guard.
Asking your best friend directly is another great way to take an honest approach to starting a FWBR. If they say no then you know where both parties stand and no hard feelings need to be involved should one party later change their mind or move away or some other reason.
I have these really strong attraction for you and don’t want cloud my judgment or taking away from our friendship, is one good way of telling your bestie how you feel about them without making them uncomfortable or awkward (both which could lead to hurt feelings).
How To Have best Friends With Benefits Without Getting Hurt and without catching feelings?
Friends with benefits (FWB) relationships can often be confused for hookups. It’s important for both parties involved in a FWB situation to realize that there is a difference between hooking up and FWB relationships.
While hookups are essentially casual s#x between two people, there are additional qualities that make FWB a completely different experience.
This could be emotional or physical but still non-romantic or only partly romantic in nature. It’s important that you make your intentions clear from the start in order to ensure an emotionally safe and healthy long-term friendship.
Make sure your communication skills are on point before trying anything else out otherwise things may turn south very quickly.
Also read: How to turn FWB into a relationship?
Both of you need to know what exactly it is that you want; if either of you want more than just being friends, keep it real and communicate about your mutual expectations so no one gets hurt.
Having open communication about why each party wants to take part in FWBR helps as well because then neither party feels as though they’ve been misled.
If either of them has any doubts or reservations let them speak their mind; letting emotions run wild isn’t fair towards either party because they’re now getting attached at their own pace rather than someone else forcing those emotions upon them prematurely.
Keep it friendly by keeping everything lighthearted during or after having FWBR. After dating/having s#xual interc#urse with each other it is crucial that you talk and confirm with your partner whether or not they feel comfortable continuing to have s#xual activity.
Being straightforward in asking questions such as So I don’t know how you feel about this, should we continue doing stuff together? Will help improve your chances for a healthy friendship in the future…even if it never becomes s#xual again.
15 Tips to make your best friends with benefits work:
1. Give it a try! Don’t limit yourself in thinking that you can only be in a romantic or s#xual relationship; sometimes there’s also a middle ground where things aren’t complicated or awkward yet people are still having fun and getting satisfied.
2. Be respectful, courteous and caring. Treat your Best FWBR partner as if they were your lover or significant other; don’t take their affection for granted!
3. Communicate! That’s obvious, but it’s still something that you’d be surprised how many people aren’t able to do in long-term relationships or when having a FWB/FWBR situation.
4. Be confident about what you want out of your FWB/FWBR situation; everyone deserves to feel good about themselves and their s#xuality, so go for it!
5. Take things at your own pace; it’s okay if you aren’t ready for things like hand-holding or any physical intimacy yet!
6. Get over your insecurities! If you’re ashamed of your body, look at yourself in a different light; take care of yourself and be happy with what you’ve got!
7. Don’t rush into anything that you’re not comfortable with! It’s your life and your body, so don’t let anyone else tell you what to do or not do.
8. Regularly test both of your STD status ! It’s better to know what you’re dealing with in advance rather than finding out after it’s too late; always be responsible and careful when engaging in any s#xual activity, regardless if you’re casual or serious!
9. If you decide that a FWB/FWBR situation isn’t for you, then it’s okay! Everyone has their own pace and is on their own journey; respect yourself enough to know what works for you!
10. Create necessary boundaries and stick to them! If you’re feeling pressured or things are starting to become too awkward, get out of that situation immediately; it’s better for you and your partner if there aren’t any mixed messages flying around.
11. Set clear Friends with benefits relationship rules for both parties! There’s nothing worse than trying to figure out what you want and how far you’re willing to go from someone else; tell your partner(s) exactly what they can expect from you and always be honest about what you’re doing.
12. Keep an open mind and an open heart; if you’re enjoying yourself, feel free to stay a little longer in your FWB/FWBR situation! But don’t feel bad about leaving either; everyone has their own pace and is on their own journey.
13. Don’t get jealous and keep your emotional attachment at check ! Even if you’re having s#x, that doesn’t mean that you need to also be in a romantic relationship or vice versa; just focus on doing what’s best for you!
14. Don’t involve in cheating ! Your partner(s) may be okay with your FWB/FWBR situation, but that doesn’t mean that they want you to be seeing other people; it’s just not fair to anyone if you don’t put everyone on an equal playing field.
15. Enjoy yourself! Finally have fun in your FWB/FWBR situation. You might be surprised how easy it is and what you may learn about yourself or others along the way. And even if you’re just not feeling it, that’s okay; remember, everyone has their own pace and is on their own journey.
In conclusion, a FWB/FWBR situation may not be for everyone. But if you think it might work for you, keep an open mind and an open heart. You never know what’s going to happen.
If it doesn’t work out in your favor and it’s not right for you or your partner(s), then at least you’ll have learned a thing or two about yourself and about others.
And maybe someday down the road when you’re feeling adventurous again and you find yourself back in a FWB/FWBR situation (or maybe even just enjoying some s#xy time), who knows? Maybe by then, things will be totally different; even better than before.