How to turn friends with benefits into a relationship? (7 steps & 3 tips)

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By: Naveen B

If you’re someone who prefers one-night stands, but still wants more from a relationship, then you can begin with friends with benefits.

This can be good for those who want an emotional connection and physical intimacy without any commitment.

But if you want that in your future, it’s important to know how and when to go about changing your current situation.

The following are some tips that will help on how to turn friends with benefits into a relationship.

Also read: Can FWB turn into a relationship?

How to turn friends with benefits into a relationship?

how to turn fwb into a relationship How to turn friends with benefits into a relationship? (7 steps & 3 tips)

Although FWBs can be beneficial for some people, there are others who might find themselves asking how do I transition from FWB to boyfriend/girlfriend? It can be emotionally exhausting- but it’s not impossible.

The key here is knowing what you want in your life and how far you’re willing to go in order to achieve it.

Many people choose to stay within an FWB relationship because they aren’t sure whether or not they’re ready for something more serious.

If that’s what’s happening for you, then just take your time! In some cases, it’s okay if you don’t end up in a committed, exclusive relationship at all.

But if you feel as though things could work out better on a deeper level, sit down and talk to him about your future together.

Also read: Why friends with benefits is bad?

You have to remember that not everyone is looking for the same thing when they enter into an FWB situation – so he may be perfectly happy where things stand now.

That said, most people have no problem being open to exploring other options (as long as they know everything will remain equal between both parties).

So even if he isn’t initially interested in stepping things up, it never hurts to plant those ideas in his head – right? And hey: guys usually like seeing their girlfriends be passionate about something (and wanting more out of life).

Having goals and dreams only makes any person seem more attractive.

7 steps to turn friends with benefits into a relationship:

tips to turn friends with benefits into a relationship How to turn friends with benefits into a relationship? (7 steps & 3 tips)

How to turn friends with benefits into a relationship?

1. Be honest about your feelings

Communication is key. Let your partner know your feelings without being too pushy – and if you want things to be more serious between you, don’t be afraid to let him/her know that, too.

But don’t immediately share them! If you’ve found yourself falling for your FWB and you’re wondering how do I turn my FWB into a boyfriend, then keep it to yourself for now.

Also read: How to make friends with benefits work?

It’s important that you fully understand what it is you want out of life before bringing someone else in on it – especially if there are feelings involved.

Sharing your feelings too soon could ruin your bond and make him uncomfortable – which isn’t exactly conducive to a healthy relationship. The most important thing here is communication.

2. Think twice before jumping into anything serious

It’s important that both of you feel comfortable discussing anything and everything before making any rash decisions.

If either of you is uncomfortable expressing your feelings or talking about what you want, then don’t do it.

Even if he or she seems completely interested in having a deeper connection, be mindful that rushing things won’t end well.

In addition, if one (or both) of you are in another relationship with other people.

Then try to come up with a plan on how to handle these things first.

In some cases, taking time apart from each other can actually make a relationship stronger—and at least now neither of you will have any doubts about what type of commitment is wanted by each person involved.

Also read: What happens after friends with benefits ends?

3. Make sure he/she wants what you want

If either one of you isn’t on board for transitioning from FWB, then there’s no point in forcing it or continuing on as though nothing has changed. You’re both happy where things stand now (which is great!).

So don’t try to make that something it isn’t. As long as everyone involved is clear about their feelings and wishes—and everything remains equal between all parties—then you’re doing just fine.

In many cases, FWBs are good for people who aren’t necessarily looking for a serious commitment but still want some company at night (or whatever else comes your way). And that’s okay.

Just make sure that everyone knows exactly where they stand (and feel comfortable) before anything big happens. Again: communication is key.

4. Don’t push him/her

This is going to be really important if you’re hoping how do I turn my FWB into a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Pushing someone into a serious, committed relationship is never a good idea – and it’s even worse when you’re trying to use emotional manipulation in order to get your way.

So just take things slow and make sure you’ve thought through what you want before suggesting anything drastic.

The only thing worse than pushing someone would be pushing someone away, which could end up hurting both of your feelings in an irreversible way.

5. Figure out what you want out of life

You should have already decided on your expectations and wishes before pursuing a new relationship, so now it’s time to take things a step further.

Once you know where you want to be in 6 months or 5 years, it’ll be easier for you how do I turn my FWB into a boyfriend or girlfriend.

Think about what would make your ideal situation – and then run through everything that would need to happen in order for that to happen (for example: changing careers).

Now is not the time for fear; if you want something, go after it.

6. Discuss your future plans together

If you’re thinking about moving forward and starting a romantic relationship together, then it’s important that you have an idea of what his or her role would be in your life.

Maybe he/she wants more commitment from you than you feel is feasible – which could lead to resentment later on.

Maybe she can give you things that you desire but aren’t currently getting elsewhere (which could work both ways).

Or maybe your lives are too different for things to ever work out—whether because of religion, s#x drive, or other interests—in which case it’s probably best not get started.

Also read: What to do when friends with benefits ends?

7. Stay committed to each other no matter what

Once you both have an idea of where you’re going, then it’s time to focus on maintaining your future as a couple – not just an FWB anymore.

When you think about how do I turn my FWB into a boyfriend or girlfriend, remember that you’re in it for life now; if either one of you gets scared and tries to back out, then everything falls apart. 

And that’s why communication is more important than ever before.

When things get rough or when someone becomes unsure of their feelings, talk through things like adults rather than letting them stew (which will only make things worse). You’ve come too far now for anything else.

So don’t do anything stupid (like cheating) because thinking about those things can lead to making them happen.

 If all else fails, just talk about how happy you are being together – happiness is infectious, after all.

So maybe that will be enough for your partner to start thinking about having a more committed future together.

Be open-minded – even if your goals aren’t realistic, sometimes you have to try every option available just in case and an FWB situation shouldn’t keep anyone from talking about his/her needs and desires.

Remember: honesty is always a good thing.

Also read: 20+ Signs your FWB is over

Tips to turn your friends with benefits into a healthy committed relationship.

ways to turn friends with benefits into a relationship How to turn friends with benefits into a relationship? (7 steps & 3 tips)

1. Let him/her know your worth as a partner.

FWB arrangements are not for everyone because most of them know that there is no such thing as perfect love; relationships take hard work and time in order to grow and blossom into something more beautiful.

If you have already been hurt by a lover before or if you have yet to experience true love, why would you want anything else but a genuine romance?

You will always be waiting for something that never came along which will leave you feeling even more vulnerable than before.

What happened next is usually full of more pain rather than happiness —no one wants that kind of future for themselves.

So settle for nothing less than happily ever after.

Have an awesome friendship first, spend quality time together and understand each other’s needs before deciding upon whether to venture further or stay where you are.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having casual s#x on occasion —as long as it’s between two consenting adults who can stick to their word.

That being said, don’t make your s#xual encounters personal because it sure isn’t.

Also read: Casual friends with benefits vs Committed friends with benefits

2. Make your FWB fall in love with you.

The easy way: Before entering any arrangement where people share their bodies with one another, trust must be present. Sometimes these kinds of situations get complicated really fast. 

It’s okay to feel butterflies when you see someone for the first time or find yourself fantasizing about them every night before going to bed, however loving someone deeply involves a lot more than just physical attraction.

For example, when they tell you they care about you too much or like everything about you including your flaws it feels great.

When love takes over, things will become exciting and even fun because what started out as something casual and risk-free has now become serious business.

And if two people are getting along well with each other without any complications, there is nothing wrong with taking it further.

Do know that you might not always be on an equal playing field; he might have some unresolved baggage from his past that needs to be resolved which means he won’t let go easily. But don’t let that bother you.

Try looking at it as an opportunity to grow instead of seeing it as something negative —everyone wants someone who will stand by their side no matter what comes along their way to take advantage of such a situation by letting go of your old views regarding relationships and starting afresh.

Also read: Stages of friends with benefits

3. Let your FWB miss you for a while

Friends with benefits relationships aren’t for everyone since most men tend to mess around whenever they think something else better comes along—and women do exactly the same thing when emotions come into play.

Such behavior only shows how little you value your partner since either party could end up feeling pretty hurt after finding out their partner was sleeping around behind their back without telling them anything.

Start building a strong friendship with your potential FWB partner first before moving towards anything else; create a safe space together and make sure both of you give 100% during intercourse in order to avoid any awkwardness afterward.

There is no such thing as cheating between two consenting adults; meaning it doesn’t really matter whether your bf/gf has ever done it or not.

However, always feel free to follow your heart because that’s what matters more than any other factor in life.

Also read: 50+ Questions to ask your fwb

If there is some mutual chemistry between you and another person then go ahead and explore that option too but always remember to be honest about who you are dealing with.

Because if he or she doesn’t want an exclusive relationship from the start, then stop wasting each other’s time.

It can be really hard sometimes even if things seem great on paper since what you imagined wasn’t what actually turned out to be real.

Let him/her miss your presence for a while until they realize the importance of your partnership in their life.

If they are not interested, know that losing someone you care about because of silly mistakes or judgmental views just isn’t worth all that pain and sorrow; learn from other people’s mistakes so you don’t repeat theirs again.

Be smart while picking someone to fall in love with by observing his/her behavior closely —if they keep canceling plans last minute…don’t worry yourself over it right away.

But if it keeps happening over and over again, then let it go already.

This applies to both men and women equally so there should never be any double standards here.

Although s#xual attraction plays a huge role in getting attracted towards someone new, falling truly deep in love requires trust, respect, and honesty above everything else.

It takes work but once it happens you’ll know there is nothing sweeter and nicer than being unconditionally loved.

All these things require time so never rush these stages; take your time to get to know one another’s likes and dislikes first since those will play a big part in defining your future together.

Also read: Your complete guide to friends with benefits relationship

Final thoughts:

In conclusion, if you really want to turn your friends with benefits into a relationship, that’s really up to you and your partner.

After all, FWBs are meant to be flexible and can be changed at any time – so don’t feel locked in if you’ve got another idea.

And if both of you are interested in actually taking your FWB relationships further, then communication is once again essential. Just remember: FWBs aren’t made for everyone and aren’t for every situation.

That said, when used correctly and not put under too much pressure – many people report that they had a positive experience engaging in FWBs.

Make sure not to let yourself fall too hard by protecting yourself against feelings of attachment.

Always remember that just because two people are dating doesn’t mean that he/she will stay faithful forever!


  • Naveen B

    Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry. His expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few. To be updated with his latest work, connect with him by following his social media accounts.

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Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry. His expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few. To be updated with his latest work, connect with him by following his social media accounts.

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