Does friends with benefits ever work? (Complete guide)

By: Naveen B

Friends with benefits relationship is really fun and exciting but at the same time risky and exhausting physically or emotionally.

So, does friends with benefits ever work? today we are going to talk about how you can make it work for you without much pain. Let’s get started by understanding:

What is a friends with benefits relationship?


A friend with benefits is just a fling. It’s a light, non-committal and fun physical connection that you have with someone whom you don’t want to be official yet because he or she is too good as a friend, so making it your bae would mean losing a friend.

Well, if you don’t really understand what it all means then we are here to help you in every possible way. You can be dating several people at once but only one of them will get priority over others and that is where these kind of relationships come into play.

Also read: 20 Benefits of friends with benefits

Does friends with benefits work?

Does friends with benefits ever work Does friends with benefits ever work? (Complete guide)

Even if you’ve already decided that your FWBs are right for each other, keep in mind that even couples who have known each other forever sometimes can’t make it work.

That doesn’t mean they were wrong for trying, but sometimes things just don’t turn out how we’d like them to.

To minimize your chances of ending up heartbroken over a fling, simply remember: no matter how serious someone else seems about you, at some point they’re going to be talking to people and having feelings for others as well – it’s not a reflection on you or your own relationships.

Just because someone has had one failed relationship doesn’t necessarily mean they’re doomed for failure in their next one.

Also read: How long can you be friends with benefits with someone?

Learn from their mistakes without taking too much from their past personally. If they seem like a genuinely good person and you trust them enough to get intimate, then ask yourself why you wouldn’t want to give an FWB a chance.

There’s nothing wrong with expecting more from people; after all, all successful relationships have communication, respect, trust, and fun.

Whether or not your FWB is willing to put effort into making sure everything is covered depends entirely on what kind of person he/she is.

You might find that making new friends isn’t as easy when there’s an expectation of hooking up – however being upfront about what both parties want beforehand means everyone should feel safe getting involved in an FWB relationship. So there you go.

Also read: Why do friends with benefits end?

What makes friends with benefits work?

The main thing that makes FWBs work so well is compatibility. Think about it: knowing exactly what kind of person you’re dealing with beforehand means that both parties feel comfortable getting intimate together.

If you and your FWB really click, then there’s nothing stopping you from becoming a long-term couple! Just be careful not to get too caught up in how good things are going – it’s important to keep your expectations realistic.

So if your FWB suddenly starts wanting more time and attention from you, take a step back and think things through before making any rash decisions; after all, just because one of your closest friends wants more doesn’t mean they should have it.

Good relationships aren’t created overnight – friendships either build naturally over time or they don’t at all.

Also read: How to turn a relationship to friends with benefits?

Only invest so much effort into something like an FWB if you know for sure that both people want it as badly as each other. otherwise, setting yourself up for disappointment isn’t worth anyone’s time! And while we’re on the subject. 

Is friends with benefits a right choice for me?

There’s no doubt that your friendship will be affected by how much time you spend together. Consider being just friends if any of these sounds like a deal breaker for you:

• You want all of your relationships to be strictly monogamous, or at least emotionally exclusive.

• You don’t have time for a physical relationship in addition to a deep friendship (this is doubly true if you work together).

• You want to feel that at least one person understands everything about who you are and can connect with you on every level—body included.

 • You have a history of playing in a friends with benefits scenario and decided it wasn’t for you—you’re just not comfortable having no strings attached s#x.

Also read: How to turn friends with benefits into a relationship?

There are other ways to explore what turns you on without risking your friendship, like dating someone who is single or hooking up within an existing couple. Be honest about what you want and why, and your friend should be willing to respect that.

If they’re not, then it might be time to reconsider your best friendship. Either way, make sure you’re both communicating before jumping into bed together so that nobody gets hurt later on. Remember: When it comes to s#x or flirting, good communication is key.

How to make friends with benefits work?


First and foremost, you must already have a strong foundation based on friendship , trust , communication, respect, shared common interests, and mutual attraction. From there anything else is fair game.

Sure, s#x might come easy but being able to hold an actual conversation that’s meaningful is essential. After all, no one will stick around for too long if they find out their friend with benefits has absolutely nothing interesting to say about anything.

Great connections happen when two people see eye to eye about most everything under the sun. Whether you’re going out for coffee or having drinks, good times = great memories.

Life can sometimes throw curveballs though – especially when trying to maintain a FWBship.

For example, if one of you falls in love with someone else, feelings start getting complicated , or maybe your schedules just become incompatible; these kinds of issues test even the strongest of bonds.

Also read: How to be friends with benefits without catching feelings?

It’s okay though – you’ll never know how far you can go unless you give it your best shot! One last piece of advice: always practice safe s#x and try not play games with each other (e.g., hiding someone new).

Each person involved in a Friends With Benefits arrangement should agree up front that cheating is never acceptable. Clear boundaries and clear rules help everyone involved avoid feelings hurt feelings or drama down the road.

Your guide to make friends with benefits relationship work successfully.

1. keep it casual:

While you might think that being just FWBs would make things easier, it’s a lot more difficult than it seems.

The truth is that most people who get into an FWB arrangement don’t actually know how to properly date – because if they did, they wouldn’t be in one in the first place.

The problem is that while dating requires a certain level of tact and affection, FWBs tend to sacrifice communication for pure lust.

Yes, s#x is great, but what happens after? Are both parties still interested in going out or are they simply looking for another hookup? And are you okay with never having those post-coital cuddles?

If not, then maybe you should rethink your current situation – it’s very easy to fool yourself into thinking that all is well when really something doesn’t feel right.

For example, many times two parties enter an FWB without any prior attraction and end up staying together because they assume there was something wrong with them instead of working on their connection further.

Of course there are situations where two mutual friends develop feelings over time – but as we said before, talk about expectations beforehand. That way if either party changes their mind down the line , they can break things off accordingly without anyone getting hurt.

Also read: What do friends with benefits do together?

2. S#xuality is not the same for all:

If you’re going into a FWBs situation, then chances are you’ve already thought about how things will play out when it comes to s#x. But just because you have what’s on paper, doesn’t mean you’ll have in real life.

S#x is very different from a hookup and needs time to develop – so if your FWB decides they’re ready for something more after 3 dates and little build-up, be prepared for a rude awakening. 

Again, s#x isn’t everything , especially when there’s nothing else between you two besides your bodies. And if it turns out that one of you does want something more than casual s#x, then don’t make them wait for their feelings or wishes to be reciprocated.

It’s not fair to either party and at the end of the day, no matter how much fun you two had together, it wasn’t worth throwing away someone else’s future happiness.

Plus, being in an FWB arrangement can cause s#xual frustration due to its restrictions; lots of couples choose an FWB only to find that neither party wants anything serious later down the line.

Because without any mutual attraction beforehand, there’s really no foundation for anything substantial.

So before setting yourself up with someone who may or may not be interested in more down the line? Take some time alone first and figure out what kind of future you’d like with said person – only then should you enter into such an arrangement with them.

Also read: What to do when friends with benefits ends?

3. Don’t mistake convenience for love:

As you might imagine, FWB arrangements are very convenient – they allow both parties to go their separate ways and never deal with that pesky talking thing again.

And while it may be fun at first, don’t mistake temporary convenience for true love.

If either party ever wants more in the future, they’ll suddenly find themselves in an awkward situation where one party is ready for more and has made clear of their intentions whereas one party isn’t actually interested.

Unfortunately sometimes two people get so caught up in lust that they forget to address things like exclusivity and jealousy head-on.

What happens when you’re jealous? What happens when your partner starts going out too much? Do you get suspicious or do you not care?

Figuring these issues out beforehand can save a lot of heartache down the line, but only if you approach them truthfully and honestly – which brings us to our next point.

4. Learn how to communicate your needs without hurting each other’s feelings:

In order to have successful FWB arrangement – if that’s even possible – communication is key.If there’s something wrong, then say it.

If something hurts your feelings, let them know! It’s better that way around anyway as trying to hide emotions usually causes more damage than good because people are easily hurt by words left unsaid or actions left unexplained.

Also read: Can FWB turn into a relationship?

5. Don’t be a s#x monster:

You know what’s worse than being cheated on? Being cheated on and not even knowing about it! While an FWB can certainly benefit from some mystery, there’s no need to deliberately hide your intentions – especially if you’re planning on breaking up.

That way your partner doesn’t feel like they’ve been mislead or lied to; at least one of you will be prepared for whatever comes next – whether that means breaking up or ending things immediately.

This also prevents any future heartache because without fail, lies always come back to bite us in our butts – just ask anyone who’s ever been cheated on.

6. Don’t be afraid of commitment:

At its core, an FWB is about having casual s#x without commitment or any kind of emotional attachment; but what happens when you begin to get feelings for your partner? When you start longing for a deeper connection?

It’s important that both parties have a clear understanding of what exactly they’re getting into so one party doesn’t end up surprised – although some level of surprise can be good at times.

It may sound intimidating but it’s actually very simple: Just communicate openly and honestly, don’t put false labels on things and when problems arise, deal with them head-on like grown ups

Relationships aren’t easy , so make sure both parties are on board for whatever comes next before you move forward.

Also read: 150+ Questions to ask your friends with benefits

7. Don’t forget about STD protection:

While an FWB doesn’t necessarily mean you have to sleep around, it’s important that both parties use protection regardless of how much you trust each other or what your intentions are. 

Obviously one person can carry a s#xually transmitted disease without knowing it so why risk it? It may sound like a hassle but if your partner respects you and is worth keeping, they’ll gladly oblige – as should you! Speaking of respect.

8. Don’t create an unhealthy emotional attachment:

An FWB is not a dating site. That may sound ridiculous but there are plenty of people who get involved in an FWB relationship, then suddenly realize that they’re in love and expect their partner to feel similarly – now what?

It’s important that both parties come into an FWB arrangement with their eyes wide open and no expectations. That way you’ll never have any problems or need to fight over silly things like who broke up with whom.

Having a casual s#x friend is fun and all but if you really want a solid friendship – if that’s even possible given your situation – then you’ll probably have better luck finding it elsewhere; I’m sure it won’t be too hard for you so don’t be afraid to put yourself out there.

9. Remember why you’re in an FWB arrangement:

Above all else, don’t forget that when it comes to FWBs, less is more.

You may be tempted to sleep together as often as possible or get physically attached but remember that there are a lot of people who aren’t ready for anything more than casual s#x; sometimes they don’t even know what they want.

Don’t worry too much about them and focus on you – if it’s meant to be, it will happen naturally at its own pace. Just enjoy your time together because you never know when something might fall apart – just like that.

Also read: What does fwb mean? (complete guide)

10. Don’t let it get awkward:

Obviously you should use protection and stay safe but most FWBs also find it prudent to keep things professional; after all, that’s why they decided on an FWB arrangement in the first place.

The more you try to make your friendship a romantic one, be it by saying I love you or doing cute little things like leaving each other notes or gifts, the more awkwardness will follow.

Just think of it as a friend with benefits who happens to have s#x with you when no one else is around.

There’s nothing wrong with that so long as both parties are clear about their feelings from day one – remember there can never be any expectations.

11. Remember that you’re not in a relationship:

It’s important to remember that you’re not in a relationship; if someone wants more, they need to make that known but as long as they remain silent, stick with your guns.

Having an FWB arrangement doesn’t mean you can’t be romantic or lovey-dovey around each other because what’s so wrong about showing affection?

In fact, many FWBs consider their arrangement just another variation of being in a monogamous marriage – except without all of its legal nonsense.

You can have s#x and date outside your arrangement and there isn’t anything wrong with that either; after all it only complicates things even further when both parties are dating multiple people at once! 

Also read: Your complete guide to friends with benefits relationship

5 reasons why you should avoid having a fling or friends with benefits relationship:

1) Tarnish your reputation

2) Never make it permanent

3) Risk of s#xual transmitted diseases

4) Emotional stress

5) Mess up your current love life.

5 reasons why you should start friends with benefits relationship:

1) It’s quite easy

2) If both agree then no one is being hurt

3) Casual dating

4) A physical relationship in a platonic setting will help in keeping your other relationships away from unnecessary tension.

5) No commitment or a hint of one involved, so it can be really good for some people as they get to have their cake and eat it too.

As most of us know that flings don’t last forever but can affect your current relationships negatively.

That said if you do decide to go ahead and take up on someone, make sure that she/he doesn’t know that there won’t be any strings attached…and still wants it or else we might be looking at another awkward break-up situation on our hands.

So, how do I begin my friends with benefits? Just like any normal friendship where you could get close physically after understanding each other for a certain amount of time.

Do not feel guilty because when you are already involved in a love/serious relationship and if someone comes along who wants only physical intimacy there’s nothing wrong if you just want to give it a try

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Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry. His expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few. To be updated with his latest work, connect with him by following his social media accounts.

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