Imagine being on a first date, or second date, or troubling to start a conversation with your partner and making sure it goes well. What do you talk about?
You just go for the normal ‘What do you do? And where do you live?’ type of questions.
But when we occasionally want something different and want to focus our conversations with someone.
Whether for first impressions or to get to know someone better — we look for conversation starters for couples and the best topics for conversation starters that make all the difference in your communication with your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband date, or committed partner.
Also read: 750+ Conversation starters on topics for any situation (Your ultimate questions list)
To create deep, meaningful connections with others, you need to start by asking the right questions.
Asking questions is the easiest way to get to know someone quickly, but asking the wrong questions can lead to dead-ends and awkward silences.
The best conversation starters are open-ended questions that invite people to talk about themselves and the things they most care about.
I’ve compiled a great list of conversation starters for couples that can help you build stronger relationships in your life.
Best way to start a conversation with your partner to get to know them better
The best way to start a conversation is to focus on your partner and start with personal questions like their goals, plans, or topics they are interested in.
For example, when you ask people about their bucket lists, you’re really asking about the things that are important to them. Once you’ve built up this momentum, you can start asking them about a few of those things.
It’s perfectly fine to start a conversation with an easy, conversational question like “What is your favorite vacation spot?”
But if that fails to spark interest in the person, you might want to try something more focused — like “What’s your dream vacation?” This leads to a discussion of their hopes and dreams.
This type of conversation is perfect for long drives or plane rides when you both have plenty of time to take it easy.
You can make it interesting by talking about different countries and how they compare to each other or the places they know best.
And don’t be afraid to inject some humor — not everyone wants to talk about their deepest desires and aspirations.
Just make sure to approach each subject in a light way, because if someone’s not interested in listening, it’s probably better for both of you if you move on.
1. Pick out something in the room and say “I’ve never seen one of these before.” Or, if it’s an old item, say “This thing is ancient!”
2. Ask your partner what he/she is working on (or better yet, ask them what they think about their work).
3. Tell an anecdote that happened recently that was funny, sad, or both. It could also be a story from your past. This is important: don’t just tell a story; give it context.
Also read: 200+ Deep Conversation Starters (On deep topics to break the ice)
350+ Conversation starters for couples
Here is a huge list of conversation starters for couples:
1. Tell me about your day?
2. How’s work going?
3. What were your plans for today?
4. What did you eat for breakfast? (If they’re far away or busy working)
5. How was your commute today? (If they’re on their way home)
6. How was your workout today? (If they’re coming back from a gym session)
7. What were the highlights of your day/week/month/year so far (past or present)?
8. What do you want to eat tonight?
9. Who do you think is better at [insert sport here]?
10. Who would you rather hang out with, and why?
11. What is one thing about me that makes you happy?
12. What’s the best thing about being married to me? And the worst?
13. Do you think we should have kids someday? Why or why not?
14. If money wasn’t an issue, where would we go on vacation this year? Next year? Five years from now? Ten years from now? Twenty years from now or more? Why or why not — or what else would we do instead of take a vacation if there were no money concerns at all?
15. What do you need from me right now?
Deep conversation starters for couples
Deep conversation starters for couples can be a great way to bring you closer together.
Sometimes, it’s easy to lose touch with each other when life gets busy and our schedules fill up. When was the last time you and your partner really talked?
Sure, you may spend time together over dinner or drinks, but have you ever sat down and had a real conversation? If not, then you should try out some deep conversation starters for couples.
These questions will help you get to know each other on a deeper level — even if you’ve been married for years! You might even discover something new about each other that could change your relationship for the better!
Here are some deep conversation starters for couples:
1. How do you feel about relationships between people who live far away from each other?
2. What is it about being separated that makes you sad or happy?
3. What are some of your best memories together?
4. How often do you think about each other when you’re apart?
5. What makes it easier for you to cope with being away from your partner? Do you have any tips or advice for other long distance couples?
6. What’s one thing your partner does that brings joy into your life?
7. If you could change one thing about your partner, what would it be and why? (You don’t have to answer this question yourself!)
8. How would you describe yourself as a person — what are your strengths and weaknesses?
9. What do you want from this marriage in five years? What changes could we make now to set us up for success?
10. What’s something I did during our relationship that made an impact on how much I love and appreciate you today?
11. If we could go back in time, when was one of our best dates together and what made it so great?
12. What’s something that bothered me about you when we first started dating but now makes me smile fondly when I think about it?
Also read: 200 Good conversation starters to talk to anyone in any situation
Conversation starters for married couples
The following are some best conversation starters for married couples:
1. Love vs commitment?
2. What are your expectations from a partner?
3. How much would you compromise in a relationship?
4. How to keep the honeymoon phase going forever?
5. How to improve communication in a relationship?
6. How to not take things personally?
7. How to deal with your partner’s exes?
8. Relationship during pregnancy and after childbirth?
9. If you had to donate all but one of your possessions, what would you keep?
10. What is the most overhyped thing you’ve ever experienced?
11. If you could ask anyone (dead or alive) just one question, who would it be and what would you ask?
12. If you could make a 20-second phone call to yourself at any point in your life present or future, when would you call and what would you say?
13. What was the last book that changed your life?
14. What is the best way to avoid growing old?
15. Who is someone you admire and why?
16. What do people think is weird about you?
17. What do you hope to accomplish with your life?
18. If today were the last day of your life, how would you spend it?
Also read: 350+ Interesting Conversation Starters (Questions and Topics)
Conversation topics for teenage couples:
Here is a list of conversation topics for couples:
1. Friends with benefits
2. Long distance relationship
3. Social media
4. S#x education
5. Open relationship
6. Relationship with money
7. Relationship and personal space
8. Relationship and personal growth
9. Relationship and the future
10. Honesty in a relationship
11. What is the deal breaker for you?
Also read: 250+ Conversation starters for Tinder (With best topics, openers, questions and tips)
Conversation starters for couples texting
These are some conversation starters for couples through text or message:
1. Do you have any expectations that you feel we’re not meeting?
2. Do you feel like there’s anything missing in our relationship?
3. What are some things I could do differently to be a better partner for you?
4. How do you think you could be a better partner for me?
5. Is there anything about our relationship that makes you feel unsafe or uncomfortable?
6. What can I do to help make you feel safer or more secure in our relationship?
7. If we were able to solve one problem in our relationship, what would it be?
8. How often do you think we should see each other throughout the week? What about on weekends?
9. How often do you think we should talk on the phone when we’re not together?
10. What is one thing that bothers you about me that I might not know about?
Fun or funny conversation starters for couples
Here are some fun conversation starters for couples:
1. Shall we try something new tonight?
2. What do you want to eat tonight?
3. Who do you think is better at [insert sport here]?
4. Who would you rather hang out with, and why?
5. What is one thing about me that makes you happy?
6. What’s the best thing about being married to me? And the worst?
7. Do you think we should have kids someday? Why or why not?
8. If money wasn’t an issue, where would we go on vacation this year? Next year? Five years from now? Ten years from now? Twenty years from now or more? Why or why not — or what else would we do instead of take a vacation if there were no money concerns at all?
Intimate conversation starters for couples
1. Tell me something that no one else knows about you
It’s always nice to be in the know and this question gives your match an opportunity to share something personal. Also, it might just spark a conversation about what your match would want the world to know instead of what others don’t.
2. What is the most romantic thing you’ve ever done?
This line tells you right away if your match finds romance in over-the-top gestures or simple acts of kindness (e.g., doing laundry).
Either way, it’s a win-win situation because now you know how to treat them when they become your significant other.
3. If you had to choose between going naked or having your thoughts appear in thought bubbles above your head for everyone to read, which would you choose?
Asking this question shows that not only do you have a sense of humor but that you’re not afraid to make fun of yourself. It’ll make for great conversation as well as an entertaining date out on the town together!
Good conversation starters for couples
Here are some good conversation starters for couples to have a great time together:
1. What is the funniest name you have actually heard used in the real world?
2. What word or saying from the past do you think should come back?
3. Where would you go in a time machine?
4. If animals could talk, which would be the rudest?
5. What song best describes your work ethic?
6. What game or movie universe would you most like to live in?
7. What animal or insect do you wish humans could eradicate?
8. Who was your first crush and what happened between you two?
9. Have you ever had an imaginary friend as a kid?
10. Which fictional character do you identify with and why?
11. If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce?
12. What questions would you NOT like others to ask you?
13. What kind of pet would be the most annoying to have if it talked all the time and why?
14. Would your rather read a book or watch a movie version of a story that has both versions available?
15. When was the last time you went out of your way to do something nice for someone and what did you do?
16. What is something that everyone looks stupid doing?
17. Do people in other countries actually care about American politics and elections as much as Americans do themselves? Have you ever been arrested, if so, what for (misdemeanor only please)?
Also read: 100+ Conversation starters for groups (Group chats, topics and questions for any situation)
Conversation starters for couples dating
Here is a list of dating conversation starters for couples:
1. What are your dreams?
2. Tell me about your biggest fear?
3. What was the best moment of your life?
4. How do you want to die?
5. What is your favorite movie genre?
6. Do you believe in ghosts?
7. What is the craziest thing that ever happened to you that no one knows about?
8. Do you have any secrets from me? (And if so, what are they?)
9. What was the last time you cried and why did it happen?
10. Who do you admire most in this world and why?
Great conversation starters for couples
These are some great conversation starters for couples:
1. How did you get started on [topic]? ‘
2. Why is it important to you?
3. What does your workday look like?
4. How did you get involved with this?
5. Tell me about a time when something went wrong. What is the most important lesson you’ve learned?
6. Which movie has had the biggest influence on your life?
7. Do you think we will ever meet each other face-to-face in person or is this just a temporary thing for us both?
8. Are we meant to be together forever or not at all, regardless of how far away we live from each other now or in the future as well as how long this distance lasts between us both due to geographical location, etc.?
9. What do you expect from our relationship together as a couple if we were able to meet each other someday face-to.face?
10. If I had four quarters to give to the four prettiest girls in the world, you would have a dollar.
Also read: 75 Weird Conversation Starters (Weirdest topics, questions and openers)
Flirty conversation starters for couples
The following are a few flirty conversation starters for couples:
1. You’re so beautiful you made me forget my pickup line.
2. If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years, they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you.
3. I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together.
4. Do you have a name or can I call you mine?
5. Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.
6. Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.
7. If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?
8. Are you religious? Because you’re the answer to all my prayers.
9. Can I take your picture to prove to all my friends that angels do exist?
10. Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see!
11. Excuse me, but I think I dropped something…my jaw!
12. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?
Conversation starters for new couples
Here are some quick conversation starters for new couples:
1. “What’s something that you learned recently?”
2. “What are you looking forward to in your life?”
3. “If you could do anything in the world, what would it be?”
4. “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?”
5. “What is your greatest fear?”
6. “What is one thing that makes your day better when it happens?”
7. “How would you describe our marriage/relationship right now?”
8. “What was the biggest mistake of your life and what did you learn from it?”
9. “What do you want to get out of this marriage/relationship?”
10. “What is one thing that has changed since we got married/started dating that has surprised me the most? What do I need to know about this change? How will it affect our relationship in the future?
Random conversation starters for couples
Here is a list of random conversation starters for couples:
1. What is the first thing you notice about a person?
2. What do you love most in life?
3. Who is your favorite actor?
4. Who is your favorite singer?
5. What is your favorite memory of me?
6. If you could go back and re-live one memory of yours, what would it be?
7. Who was your celebrity crush growing up?
8. What is your biggest regret in life?
9. Who is the funniest person you know?
10. If you could live anywhere, where would it be?
11. What was your childhood dream job?
12. What’s one thing you want to learn how to do? If money wasn’t a factor, what would you do with your time?
13. How did you spend most of your time in high school?
14. What was the last book that made an impact on you and why did it impact you so much?
Dinner conversation starters for couples
These are some dinner conversation starters for couples:
1. Do you consider yourself a selfish person?
2. What are your thoughts on religion/God?
3. What’s your favorite alcoholic drink?
4. Do you love to dance?
5. Are you funny or serious in nature?
6. Have you ever been arrested or convicted of a crime?
7. What are your favorite TV shows?
8. What makes you laugh the most?
9. What’s your favorite line from an album, movie or book?
10. Do you think age matters in a relationship?
11. What do you love the most about life?
12. How many friends do you have close by where you live now?
13. Are you an introvert or extrovert (or ambivert)?
14. Are there any superstitions that you still buy into today?
15. Do you like horror movies?
Funny conversation starters for married couples
Here is a list of Conversation starters for couples funny
1. If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years, they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you.
2. Well, this app tells me we’re a match. How do you feel about that?
3. Could you give me directions to your apartment?
4. A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water.
5. My grandmother was asking about you.
6. You are adorable! You are so cute!
7. I am feeling a little off today. Will you cheer me up?
8. What would our children look like?
9. Your lips look so lonely… Would they like to meet mine?
10. You must be in a wrong place – the Miss Universe contest is over there.
Date night conversation starters for married couples
1. What kind of music do you like?
2. What’s your favorite vacation spot?
3. What are your favorite hobbies?
4. What are your favorite restaurants?
5. Who is the most interesting person you’ve met?
6. Would you rather live forever or die tomorrow?
7. If you were a superhero, what would be your super power?
8. If you could invite anyone, dead or alive, to dinner, who would it be?
9. What is the most embarrassing moment of your life?
10. Tell me a secret.
11. What are three things still left on your bucket list?
12. If you could spend the day with someone famous, alive or dead, who would it be?
Interesting conversation starters for couples
Here are some interesting conversation starters for couples:
1. “If you could pick one year of your life to do-over, which would it be and why?”
2. “What’s the most annoying question that people ask you?”
3. “What’s the best and worst piece of advice you’ve ever received?”
4. “Have you ever tripped/fallen in public? What happened?”
5. “What was the biggest mistake you’ve made at work and how did you recover from it?”
6. “What’s the nicest thing anyone has done for you?”
7. “What’s your favorite movie line and who would you like to say it to?”
8. “Tell me about a time when you struggled at work. How did you deal with it and what did you learn from it?”
9. If a genie granted three wishes, what would they be and why?
10. Have you ever wanted to quit your job? What stopped you?
11. What’s your favorite TV show? Why do you like it so much? Which character is most like you? Least like you?
12. Has anyone ever saved your life or significantly changed it for the better? How? Tell me about them!
Juicy conversation starters for couples
These are a few juicy conversation starters for couples:
1. If you could speak on one particular topic without getting bored what would it be?
2. If you could go back and do one thing differently, what would it be?
3. What is a favorite childhood memory?
4. What is your favorite quote and why?
5. Who is someone you look up to and why?
6. Where is the coolest place you’ve ever been?
7. Where did you grow up and how did it shape your life today?
8. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
9. What did you want to be when you grew up, but now realize it’s not for you? Why or why not?
10. What was the best phase in your life?
11. If money wasn’t an issue, where would you live and why?
12. How do you measure success in your life (or career)?
Conversation starters for long term couples
These conversation starters for long term couples work great to strengthen their bond:
1. What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
2. What is your favorite thing about me?
3. What was your relationship like with your parents growing up?
4. Do you think we’ll always be in love with each other? Why or why not?
5. If we had to move in with each other, who would take charge of what parts of the house?
6. Which movie do you think describes our relationship best and why? (If there’s one you both agree on, great! If not, that’s fine too.)
7. What do you think our life will be like five years from now? Ten years from now? Twenty years from now?
8. If there were one thing that could make our relationship better, what would it be?
9. What do I do that makes you feel loved and appreciated most of all?
10. How do I show my love for you in ways that are different than how I show my love for others in my life (my parents, siblings, friends)?
11. What kind of qualities do I have that attract people to me?
Relationship conversation starters for couples
These are some relationship conversation starters for couples:
1. How do you feel about marriage?
2. What do you think people think about marriage, and is it true?
3. What is the best thing about our relationship, and why?
4. If we could do anything with our lives together, what would that be?
5. Who are your top three role models for relationships? Why them?
6. Who are your top three role models for parenting? Why them?
7. What was your most formative childhood experience with family or friends?
8. If you could travel back in time to visit someone from your past, who would it be and why? (If you can’t travel back in time, who would you want to meet with today?)
9. What three things could we do together as a couple that would make us closer than we are right now? (Don’t worry about money or logistics — just brainstorm!)
Best conversation starters for couples
1. What was your first concert/concert you went to?
2. What was the worst movie you ever saw?
3. Name three things you do for fun.
4. Explain why those questions are deep conversation starters.
5. Did anyone in your family go to college? Did they major in something interesting?
6. Tell me three things about yourself that most people don’t know
Best conversation starters for married couples
1. What are you doing?
2. What’s your favorite movie/song/food?
3. Who is your best friend?
4. What do you wish you could change about yourself?
5. What is your favorite book? Why?
6. What always makes you laugh?
7. What’s one thing most people don’t know about you?
8. What’s the worst lie you ever told? How did you get away with it?
9. Have you ever broken a bone or had stitches? What happened?
10. Do you have any strange phobias or habits?
Conversation starters for teenage couples
1. Who is the most interesting person you have ever met and why were they interesting?
2. What moment in your life makes you most proud when you think about it?
3. Would you rather have free Wi-Fi everywhere or an extra day added to the weekend?
4. If you had to pick one single meal to eat for the rest of your life what would it be?
5. What is your favorite quality about yourself?
6. What is the best compliment that anyone has ever given to you and why didn’t you deserve it?
7. What do the people who don’t like you think about you that isn’t true?
8. If a genie granted you three wishes, what would they be?
9. When was the last time someone apologized to you and really meant it?
Daily conversation starters for couples
Here is a list of daily conversation starters for couples:
1. Why do things happen to us instead of something else happening to us?
2. The last time I did this, it ended in disaster. But I don’t mind making a fool of myself for you. So here goes: I want to start a conversation with you.
3. If we were at a bar and not at work, what would you buy me
4. From across the bar, I saw you were having a hard time getting their attention, so I came over and offered to buy you a drink.
5. You seem really cool, but if I’m wrong, tell me before our kids get older and make the same mistake.
6. There aren’t many people here that make me want to talk to them, but you do. Let’s change that and get a conversation going between us!
7. It would be an understatement to say I found you attractive from across the room, so instead of simply saying that, I figured it would be better to come over and introduce myself instead.
Conversation starters for dating couples
These are some conversation starters for dating couples:
1. If you could speak on one particular topic without getting bored what would it be?
2. If you could go back and do one thing differently, what would it be?
3. What is a favorite childhood memory?
4. What is your favorite quote and why?
5. Who is someone you look up to and why?
6. Where is the coolest place you’ve ever been?
7. Where did you grow up and how did it shape your life today?
8. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
9. What did you want to be when you grew up, but now realize it’s not for you? Why or why not?
10. What was the best phase in your life?
11. If money wasn’t an issue, where would you live and why?
12. How do you measure success in your life (or career)?
Conversation starters for long distance couples
When you’re in a long-distance relationship, it can be hard to find ways to keep the connection strong. It can feel like there’s less time to talk, and less opportunity to connect on a deeper level.
If you want to avoid the pitfalls of a long distance relationship,
The best way to keep your relationship healthy and strong is to stay in touch with each other. It’s easy to get distracted by work or other people when you’re apart, but you shouldn’t let that happen.
If you want to keep your relationship strong, it’s important that you do more than just talk about the weather. It’s also important that you have deep conversations about your lives together.
Here are some ideas for deep conversation starters for long distance relationship couples:
1. What’s one thing that would help us keep our relationship alive while we’re apart?
2. How would our lives be different if we lived closer together?
3. What do we need to work on when we’re together again so that things go smoothly from here on out?
4. What’s your favorite way to stay connected during our time apart?
5. What is something you could do to help us stay in touch more often?
6. Do you have any advice for overcoming challenges we may face as a couple in this type of situation?
7. What do you think about couples who meet online or through social media and then start dating?
8. Have you ever lived apart from someone you love? How did it make you feel?
9. What do you think is the hardest part of a long distance relationship?
10. What’s the best part of a long distance relationship?
11. Is it harder to keep in touch with people who live far away or those who live nearby? Why?
12. Do you think it’s easier to maintain long-distance relationships than short-distance ones? Why or why not?
13. When was the last time you were in a long-distance relationship, and how did it end up working out for you?
14. What’s your favorite thing about being in a long-distance relationship (if there is one)?
15. How do you feel about couples who are dating but not living together yet, or who haven’t moved in together after making plans to move in together soon (e.g., within 6 months)? Why or why not?
16. Do you think that people should move in together before getting married?
Deep conversation starters for married couples
Here are some deep conversation starters for married couples:
1. What do you think is the most important life lesson for someone to learn?
2. Do you think that age difference is important when dating?
3. What do you consider cheating in a relationship?
4. How would your parents describe you in one word?
5. What is your ideal dream date?
6. What do you look for in a partner?
7. What kind of music are you into?
8. What did you want to grow up to do when you were 5?
9. Are you an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert?
10. What’s the weirdest thing about you?
11. Who was your favorite teacher and why?
12. Where did you grow up and what was it like there?
13. Do you have any irrational fears or phobias?
14. Do you prefer hot or cold weather?
15. Have you ever been told that you resemble someone famous, if yes, who?
16. Tell me something interesting about yourself. What is your favorite cuisine to cook and what’s your go-to dish? Are there any foods that remind you of your family and childhood days, if yes, what are they and why do they remind you of that time in your life or those people in particular?
17. What’s the craziest thing about your family?
Conversation starters for engaged couples
1. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?
2. If your house was on fire, what’s the first thing you’d grab?
3. If you had to give one of your fingers away, which finger would you give and why?
4. What’s your favorite meme?
5. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
6. What’s the best advice anyone has ever given you?
7. What do you think is your best physical feature?
8. What was your favorite subject in school? Why?
9. Who is your inspiration in life?
10. Are you a cat person or a dog person?
11. What are some small things that make your day better?
12. Who’s the kindest person you know?
13. Do you think it’s possible to find true love through a dating app?
14. What would be your perfect Sunday morning look like?
15. If you could have lunch with anyone in the world, who would it be and why?
16: Have you ever met anyone famous before?
17: Would you rather have an extra finger or an extra toe?
Good conversation starters for teenage couples
1. What is one thing that brings a smile to your face, no matter the time of day?
2. If you could only watch one movie for the rest of your life, what would it be?
3. If you had to lose one of your five senses, which would you give up and why?
4. If tomorrow was your last day on earth, what would you do in your last 24 hours?
5. If you could a full 24 hours without any work or obligations, a day to just do whatever you wanted, what would you do?
6. If someone gave you a million dollars right now, what would you spend it on?
7. Have you ever made a decision that changed your entire life?
8. If so, what was it? Would you make the same decision again today?
9. Is there something out there, a thought, an idea, a current event, or a fear that you find deeply unsettling?
10. What do you value most in a friendship? What about in a romantic relationship?
Romantic conversation starters for couples
Here is a list of romantic conversation starters for married couples
2. What is your favorite memory of us when we were together in person?
3. What is the most romantic thing you have ever done for me?
4. What was your favorite experience with me so far?
5. What do you miss most about me when we’re apart?
6. What is one thing you wish I could do better (in bed, at work, around the house)?
7. If we were to get married, where would you want to live? (or) Which city should we live in after we get married?
Conversation starters for couples focus on the family
1. You’re so good with kids. Did you always want a family?
2. When did you decide to start a family?
3. What was the most difficult thing about having children?
4. How do you feel about co-sleeping?
5. What is your favorite way to spend time with your kids?
6. Do you think we should give our kids phones?
7. Do you think social media is good for kids or bad for kids?
8. What did you learn from raising your children?
9. What do you wish someone had told you when you were first starting out as parents?
10. How do we balance work and family time with each other and our children?
11. How do we make sure we don’t raise spoiled kids who get everything they want all the time without working for it first?
12. How much screen time should our kids have each day (TV, iPad, computer)?
13. What are some ways that we can model healthy eating habits for our kids without making them feel like they’re being forced into it?”
14.”How do I know if my child has a learning disability?”
Conversation starters for couples in trouble
There are many different reasons why a relationship may be in trouble. If you and your partner are experiencing issues in your relationship, you may be questioning whether or not it’s worth the effort to save it. Many people have been there.
The good news is that if both parties are willing to work on their issues, there’s a good chance they can strengthen their bond and turn their relationship around.
Make a list of everything that’s bothering you. Are there things your partner does or says that makes you feel unhappy?
Write them all down, even if they seem silly or unimportant. Make a separate list of things that make you feel happy with your partner (or things you like about them).
Write out the things that bother you. If the issue is something small, like the way your partner chews food with their mouth open, just tell them how it makes you feel (grossed out).
If it’s something bigger, like the fact that they forgot your birthday or never help clean up after dinner, explain why it bothers/hurts you. For example: “I was really disappointed that I didn’t get a card on my birthday this year.”
Ask them to listen to what you have to say
“What are some of the main problems you want to talk about today?”
This one may seem a bit obvious, but it’s critical to lay the groundwork for your conversation before you start talking.
You might even want to assign your partner some homework so they come prepared with topics they’d like to discuss.
“When did this problem first start?”
Knowing the root cause of your problem can be helpful in understanding how you both got here and how it can be resolved.
If your partner doesn’t know the answer to this question, try asking them when they first started noticing something wasn’t right between you.
“How do you think we should go about resolving this?”
It’s always good to know where your partner stands on the issue at hand. This will help you step back and objectively evaluate the situation instead of getting caught up in emotion.
What do you think we need to work on?
How can I support you right now?
What’s something I can do to help you feel more joyful/confident/hopeful/supported (pick one or two emotions)?
Conversation starters for old married couples
Here is a list of conversation starters for old married couples:
1. If you could speak on one particular topic without getting bored what would it be?
2. If you could go back and do one thing differently, what would it be?
3. What is a favorite childhood memory?
4. What is your favorite quote and why?
5. Who is someone you look up to and why?
6. Where is the coolest place you’ve ever been?
7. Where did you grow up and how did it shape your life today?
8. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
9. What did you want to be when you grew up, but now realize it’s not for you? Why or why not?
10. What was the best phase in your life?
11. If money wasn’t an issue, where would you live and why?
12. How do you measure success in your life (or career)?
