50 Questions to ask before first date

By: Naveen B

Getting started in a new relationship can be challenging. You don’t want to come across as aggressive and desperate, but neither do you want to appear too stoic and reserved.

You want to take things slow while still keeping each other interested in what you have to offer.

Do you ask them out? Should you make a move on them first? Or should you just continue as friends? Questions like these can be paralyzing and make it difficult for you to know how to proceed.

A solid foundation on the first date will help you build an even stronger connection with your partner in the long run.

So, I’ve put together this handy list of 50 questions to ask before first date. These questions will help you figure out what type of person your date might be, so that you can determine whether or not to pursue them further.

50 Questions to ask before first date


The following are some of the best questions to ask before first date:

1. Do you believe in love at first sight? If so, how would you describe it?

The beauty of love at first sight is that it’s not just about attraction; chemistry has a lot to do with it too.

Even if you don’t see physical beauty when you look into the eyes of someone who interests you, there’s still some underlying connection between the two of you which makes both parties feel inexplicably drawn towards one another from the start.

Before you decide to jump into your first date, try to get to know what love actually means to them.

Also read: 100 Questions to ask yourself before dating and falling in love with someone new

2. Do you believe that opposites attract or are we drawn to people who share similar interests or values?

There are plenty of successful relationships out there which prove that opposites can indeed attract, but while it may work out well in the beginning, differences will eventually make themselves known.

Dating someone who shares similar interests or values can make things easier because you’ll probably agree on certain topics more often than not.

However, it’s better known beforehand, if your potential date would be compatible with you are not.

3. What are your thoughts on monogamy vs polyamory?

The truth about modern dating is that people now have choices when it comes to romantic commitment.

While most couples prefer monogamous relationships, others are open to pursuing multiple partners.

It’s best to take time getting to know someone before deciding whether or not you’re comfortable with their approach as only then will you truly know if it works for you.

4. What gender pronouns do you use? And why?

The gen Z trend of being gender fluid presents new challenges for daters. It’s important to learn the appropriate pronoun to use before you meet up, especially since misusing the wrong pronoun can be hurtful.

That said, it’s totally okay to bring up the topic once you’ve already gotten to know your date a little bit.

Some questions to consider include What pronoun do you use? and Do you identify as male, female, or nonbinary?

And the most important thing to remember, is that the answer to these questions should not determine your decision.

Also read: 21 Online dating questions to ask before meeting

5. Do you prefer dating same genders as well or just attracted opposite sex?

This is one of the good questions to ask before a first date. It is a really best way to find out if your date is bisexual or gay or lesbian.

Most people who are straight will say that they only date the opposite sex, while those who are bisexual may say that they are interested in dating anyone regardless of their gender.

Someone who identifies as transgender may also use any pronoun.

Keep in mind that it’s not necessary to have the same preferences as your date, but it can be helpful to know what the general expectations are before you head into your first date together.

6. How many past partners have you had? And why did you break up with them?

This is a serious and controversial question to ask before the first date which may put your date in an uncomfortable situation.

You can skip this one if you want to. However, if you think it’s a relevant question, try to frame it in a way that is sensitive to your date’s feelings.

For example, instead of asking ‘How many people have you slept with?’ you could ask ‘How long have you been sexually active for?’ or ‘What kind of sexual experiences have you had before?’.

Also read: 100+ Questions to ask before dating (very intuitive and thoughtful)

7. What qualities do you look for in a good partner?

The most popular and important qualities to have in a partner are honesty, trustworthiness, kindness, and humor.

Someone who can make you laugh is always a plus. It’s a difficult balance to find the right person with all of these qualities, but it’s worth it in the end. What other qualities are important to you? You should definitely try this question on your first date.

8. What made you decide that I am the perfect date for you?

There are many ways to measure how perfect a date is, so it’s important to understand your date’s preferences.

Maybe you two enjoy the same TV shows, go to the same places, or have some mutual friends. Take some time to think about your date’s words and actions, and reflect on the quality of your interactions so far.

9. Are you looking for something casual? A relationship? Or somewhere in between?

This question can help you figure out where your date stands when it comes to starting something new.

The truth is that there are a lot of different answers to the above questions, and none of them are wrong.

Remember that it’s your date’s job to be upfront about their intentions before you even get started.

If you didn’t like the answers you got for any of these questions, then it might be time to reconsider your decision to move forward.

Also read: 100 Questions to ask a guy before dating

Questions to ask a guy or a girl before going on a date

Here is a list of questions to ask before going on a date:

10. What do you want out of life right now?

11. What is your idea of an ideal relationship?

12. If you could go back and tell yourself one thing before getting into this type of relationship, what would it be?

13. What are three things that scare you most about starting a new relationship?

14. What types of hobbies do you enjoy doing alone?

15. What is your favorite vacation spot and why?

16. If money were no object, where would you live and why?

17. Are you okay with staying single for the rest of your life?

18. Which place would our first date be? Have you planned or shall I think of it?

19. Should we call each other by nicknames like babe or sweetie?

20. Should we exchange contact information after the date?

Questions to ask your boyfriend or girlfriend before first date

The following are some of the questions to ask a guy or girl before first date:

21. Where should our first kiss happen?

22. Who would pay for dinner during the date?

23. Would you like to see each other again after this date?

24If so, when and how often?

25. What is your expectation for sex during this date?

26. Do we really need to get into physical intimacy this soon?

27. Are you type of person who won’t go for sex unless you emotionally attached to that person?

28. What is your family background?

29. What kind of culture and tradition do you come from? And you follow them?

30. Would you rather be kinky or romantic?

Questions to ask before second date


The second date is often the only real indicator of whether or not there’s potential for your relationship with each other. 

Here is a list of questions to ask before second date:

31. What is your favorite childhood memory and how that shaped you?

32. What are your goals in life?

33. Do you want to start a family someday? If so, how soon?

34. What is your opinion on parenting styles?

35. What are your views on abortion?

36. Do you believe in soulmates and twin flames?

37. What is the meaning of life to you?

38. What are your fears?

39. What are you looking for in a partner?

40. What is the last book you read and what did you think of it?

Questions to ask before third date


Here is a list of questions to ask before your third date:

41. Do you have a special talent that would interest me?

42. How do you decide whether to trust someone or not?

43. What are your views on religion, spirituality and God?

44. What is your typical day-to-day routine like?

45. Do you look for science or your intuition to seek the answers?

46. What is your Myers-Briggs personality type?

47. What are your thoughts on astrology and tarot cards?

48. What are your views on the afterlife and reincarnation?

49. What are your views on ghosts and spirits?

50. What is your favorite thing about life?

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Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry. His expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few. To be updated with his latest work, connect with him by following his social media accounts.

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