100+ Questions to ask before dating (very intuitive and thoughtful)

By: Naveen B

When starting a new relationship, it can be hard to know exactly how to proceed and what questions to ask before dating in order to make sure that the two of you are on the same page from the beginning.

Questions such as where do you see this going? or Are you ready for a committed relationship? might seem like obvious questions, but sometimes the obvious questions don’t occur to us until well into our relationships, and if not addressed early on, can have dire consequences down the road.

When you first start to date someone, you get to know them quickly and easily. There’s nothing wrong with those first three months of dating – it’s fun and exciting, but it can also be overwhelming and even scary when it comes to commitment

So before you decide to date someone, you should know that there are many deep relationship questions to ask your potential partner.

It is important to know each other well so that when you have a problem, the other person knows how to handle it.

Here are 100 Questions to ask before dating. You can use them in your quality conversation and get to know each other better and establish a deep connection.

100+ Questions to ask before dating


1. What’s your love language?

If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, there are five main love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, receiving gifts and physical touch.

Learning your partner’s preference will help foster a deep connection.

So, asking this question to yourself and your potential partner will help determine how you both feel loved and how your partner would want to feel loved.

2. What makes you happy?

Take time to talk about each other’s hobbies, likes and dislikes to see if you have any interests in common.

One of the best ways to learn about somebody is by learning about their passions and interests, so take some time during your first few dates together to talk about these things. 

3. What drives your behavior majorly: Logic or emotions?

The last thing you want is to get into a relationship where one person does all the thinking and the other does all the emoting.

But we’ve all had at least one experience where we felt like our significant other was making decisions based solely on emotion without taking logic into account.

To avoid future conflict, explore each other’s decision-making process during your first few conversations to ensure that you understand why your partner does what they do—before you commit to them for life!

Also read: 500+ Dating questions and conversation topics for online, first date, second date to spark a deep relationship connection

4. What are your top 5 bucket list goals in life?

In order to fully connect with someone, you need to know what they’re aiming for in life. You may have very different ambitions, and this could lead to tension down the line.

Answering this question might reveal that although the two of you may seem like an unlikely match at first glance, exploring your similarities could show that maybe there’s something worth fighting for after all.

5. What is your personality type? Introverted or extroverted?

Are you an analytical thinker, creative thinker, logical thinker, or intuitive thinker? These questions should be answered early on because they define how you communicate.

This is a great way to gain insight into the way your potential date views the world.

Discovering the type of their personality will help you and your partner understand how you perceive and interpret information, what types of people you gravitate towards, and what kind of working environment suits you best. 

6. What are your four most recent purchases? and how do you manage your finances?

Talking about money, finances and their spending habits is a perfect way to gauge how financially savvy they are.

If you find out they’re not too keen on balancing their budget, then chances are they don’t plan to share their personal finances with you anytime soon.

Be wary of anyone who isn’t willing to tell you about how much money they make and what they spend it on.

This is an important part of the foundation of a relationship, and you deserve to know the truth about your partner’s financial stability.

7. Do you prefer art or science?

One of the best ways to understand someone’s passions is by learning what they enjoy reading, watching, listening to and researching.

The more time you spend exploring their interests, the better chance you have at getting them hooked on yours.

By knowing what makes them tick, your conversation topics can flow naturally without any awkward pauses.

8. Do you believe in god? Are you a religious person or skeptic?

This is a deep question to ask your boyfriend or girlfriend before dating because religion impacts how we live our lives, how we parent our children, what we eat, and so much more.

And while this might seem like a no-brainer for some couples, there are plenty of couples that end up living together only to learn that one partner is deeply devoted to his or her faith while the other has different beliefs altogether.

It’s worth asking before you get married if you’re really interested in building a future together because it could lead to tension if things aren’t communicated beforehand.

9. What are your thoughts on sex before marriage; friends with benefits; polygamy?

It’s good to have these conversations upfront before anything becomes serious because you’ll want to see if they agree with your values.

A friend with benefits may sound tempting at first, but in reality it usually doesn’t work out well. Sex always needs to come from love and respect, which is why many couples wait until after marriage to get intimate.

However, it’s a matter of personal preference whether monogamy is a deal breaker or not. 

Some people are completely fine with being faithful to just one person, while others don’t mind having multiple partners outside of their marriage.

You should talk openly about what you’re comfortable with in regards to monogamy and sexuality before diving headfirst into a committed relationship as it could cause major heartbreak down the line.

10. How romantic, funny, practical or unique are you from a scale of 0-10 respectively? 

Romance, humor, responsibility, reality and uniqueness are some of the characteristics you should discuss with your partner before dating.

Knowing their personality type and how they rank on the scale of each characteristic is a good way to figure out if you two are compatible.

Questions to ask before dating seriously


The following is a list of questions to ask before dating seriously:

1. What do you want out of a relationship?

2. Who are your family members and friends that I should get to know?

3. How often do you plan on seeing me or talking with me during the week?

4. What are your thoughts on marriage and kids for now or in the future?

5. How do you handle conflicts with others and people you love?

6. Where is our rest of life going to be?

7. What are your thoughts on cheating?

8. What do you think about people who constantly fight in their relationship?

9. Do you have any significant trauma from the past that may cause problems in our relationship?

10. Do you struggle with things like drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex addiction, or other mental health issues?

Important questions to ask before dating

Here are some important questions to ask before dating him or her:

1. Are you a submissive person or dominant?

2. Does manipulation come easy to you?

3. What kind of hobbies do you enjoy doing alone?

4. Who would you spend New Year’s Eve with if given the choice between two friends?

5. What do you value more: comfort or excitement?

6. How often do you take risks in life? And what’s the one you did recently?

7. What’s your biggest fear?

8. What do you want to tell me about yourself that you haven’t told anyone else?

9. What makes you mad the most in life?

10. If someone had to choose only three qualities that they valued the most, what would they be?

Questions to ask your crush before dating


These are some great questions to ask your crush before dating:

1. What do you do for a living?

 2. What are some of your hobbies?

 3. What are three words that describe your personality best and why?

 4. Do you have any pets and if so, what kind of pet(s)?

 5. Where did you grow up?

 6. Do you have a crush on someone, if so is it a celebrity or a person you personally know?

 7. Have you ever been in love?

 8. What’s the most romantic thing someone has done for you?

 9. How many people have you had a physical intimacy with in the past year?

 10. Would you rather talk constantly or work constantly?

 11. What type of music do you like listening to?

 12. Is there anything about yourself that would surprise me if I knew it?

 13. Are you currently single or taken?

 14. What’s your favorite TV show?

 15. When was the last time you thought of love, relationships and family?

Questions to ask before hooking up


The following are some Questions to ask someone before you date them especially when hooking up with them: 

1. Do you have any STDs and when is the last time you went for the test?

2. Do you have the habit of using protection while making out?

3. What makes you think someone is ready for a casual relationship?

4. Have you ever hooked up with someone and regretted it later? If so, why?

5. Have you ever slept with the wrong person?

6. What is your definition of casual relationship?

7. Do you think friends with benefits relationships are really worth it?

8. If someone wants to sleep with me but I don’t want to, how do I turn them down without hurting their feelings?

9. How do you know if someone is really interested in you or just sleeping around?

10. What if a casual hookup turns into a serious relationship?

11. Have you ever been emotionally attached to someone with one night stand?

12. What are some words that people might use to describe themselves during sex?

13. Are you sexually attracted to everyone?

14. Who are the people you’ve had sex with in your life?

15. Would you say that you’re more sexually attracted to women than men?

Things to ask before dating


Here are of the best things to ask before dating:

1. Ask them about their past memories, present destinies and future dreams

2. Ask their fun times and serious moments

3. Ask what they do to keep them occupied with what they do

4. Ask them what makes them happy and sad

5. Ask how they would handle their cognition and emotions

6. Ask if they could sacrifice anything for love

7. Ask about their personality, childhood, family and what make you both tick

Questions to ask a guy before dating


These are some more great questions to ask a guy before dating:

1. When was the last time you felt really happy?

2. Is there anything that we need to discuss right now?

3. What’s been your happiest moment ever so far in life?

4. What’s been your most painful moment ever so far in life?

5. What are your top priorities when it comes to life?

6. If you could pick one country to live in for an extended period of time which would it be?

7. What are some goals you would like to accomplish over the next few years?

8. What are some bad habits you hope to break this year?

9. What motivates you the most?

10. When did you last cry and why? 

Questions to ask a girl before dating


Here are some more amazing questions to ask a girl before dating:

1. Would you prefer to date someone younger than you or older than you?

2. Are you comfortable with discussing about religion, taboo, sex and other contraversial topics? 3. What are the 3 things that exhaust you physically, emotionally and psychologically?

4. What qualities in others make you angry and uncomfortable?

5. What does love mean to you?

6. Do you feel loved by me as well as my family and friends?

7. What makes you fall in love with someone?

8. What has been the best day of your life so far?

9. Which living person do you admire most and why?

10. What excites you the most in life?

Serious Questions to ask someone before dating

Here is a list of serious and intimate questions to ask before dating someone

1. What will happen if you don’t reach your goal?

2. What’s your idea of a perfect first date?

3. What’s the weirdest thing that happened to you recently?

4. How many times have you broken up in a serious relationship?

5. Have you experienced physical abuse from someone close to you?

6. Does our age difference matter to you?

7. What does the word life mean to you?

8. What are your feelings about waiting until marriage to have sex?

9. What’s your favorite quote or saying?

10. Will you go on vacation with me if I can afford it?

questions to ask before dating 1 1 100+ Questions to ask before dating (very intuitive and thoughtful)

Good questions to ask before dating

Here are some Good relationship questions before dating:

1. If you could change one thing about your current relationship, what would it be?

2. What’s the most awkward or embarrassing situation you’ve found yourself in?

3. What are some of the most important qualities in a partner that are necessary in order to make a relationship work?

4. Where do you see this going from here?

5.Who’s your favorite person in this world and what do they mean to you?

6. Are you a vegetarian or non-vegetarian?

7. How many languages can you speak fluently?

8. Can you cook a mean bowl of ramen noodles?

9. When was the last time you had something really good happen to you?

10. Have there been any really bad things happen recently in your life?

11. What does living happily ever after mean to you?

Deep questions to ask before dating

Here are some deep and best Questions to ask before you start dating:

1. Can you overlook anything from your partner’s past?

2. Do you have any inhibitions? 

3. How do you feel about sex?

4. What are the most important things in life to you?

5. What are the top three things that make a person attractive to you?

6. What are the major qualities you look for in a partner?

7. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

8. How protective are you of your loved ones?

9. What does true love mean to you?

10. Who is the worst person on Earth right now and why is he or she so bad?

11. What makes a good friend to you?

12. Have you ever had an out-of-body experience?

13. What is the scariest situation you’ve been in and how did you handle it?

Final thoughts

So, now you’ve got these 100+ questions to start off those new relationships.

Remember that the key to maintaining a healthy relationship is communication.

Make sure to listen as much as you speak when talking with your significant other, and try to put yourself in their shoes every now and again. They just might surprise you!

These are all great questions to ask before dating because it gives you a glimpse into their personality, interests, and the way they think.

This can help you determine what they value in life and what they aspire to become someday.


  • Naveen B

    Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry. His expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few. To be updated with his latest work, connect with him by following his social media accounts.

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Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry. His expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few. To be updated with his latest work, connect with him by following his social media accounts.

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