100 Questions to ask when starting a relationship

By: Naveen B

New relationships can be exciting, but they can also be daunting. There are so many things to figure out before you’re able to really enjoy each other’s company in the long term. 

You need to consider some questions to ask when starting a relationship, or anytime you want to get to know someone new better.

These new relationship questions may not all apply directly to your situation, but most of them will give you some insight into your partner and allow you to bond with each other over your answers. 

That’s why you should take the time to sit down and ask your partner some questions about their past and future to really get to know them before you take that big step in deciding whether or not you want to be with them forever.

Here are 100 questions you can ask when starting a relationship.

100 Questions to ask when starting a relationship


1. Is our search for a soulmate or a perfect life partner over after we found each other?

2. Are you in a relationship because you want to be or because you feel like you have to be?

3. Is there any part of you that doesn’t fit into this relationship?

4. Are we committed to each other?

5. Are we compatible with each other?

6. Does our relationship make us happier together and grow as individuals?

7. Do we feel like we love each other unconditionally?

8. Do we feel comfortable enough with ourselves to be in this relationship?

9. Have we been fighting a lot lately?

10. Are we satisfied with the amount of quality time we spend with each other?

Also read: 200+ Deep relationship questions to ask yourself and others (Persuasive & thoughtful)

11. What are our plans to succeed in this relationship?

12. What are your thoughts on open relationships?

13. What is your philosophy of life and how do I relate to it?

14. What is the most important thing in your life right now?

15. How long does it take to trust someone?

16. What are the things that make you laugh?

17. What was your childhood like?

18. When did you lose someone who was close to you?

19. How would your best friend describe you?

20. What is one thing about you that makes others respect you?

Also read: 70+ Questions to ask yourself before getting into a relationship

Good questions to ask when starting a relationship


Here is a list of some good questions to ask when starting a serious relationship:

21. Where do we see ourselves in five years from now?

22. Who is the most important person in your life at this moment?

23. Would you take care of me if I were sick?

24. What is your idea of a perfect date night?

25. What are you passionate about in life?

26. Do you have siblings and do they support you?

27. Do you have a plan for the future?

28. Do you believe in marriage?

29. What are your thoughts on being monogamous?

30. Why don’t we live together before getting married?

31. Will you commit to making an effort every day to get along with me even when I’m not my best self?

32. What kind of decisions should we make together as a couple?

33. Do you think this relationship will last?

34. What are your pet peeves?

Also read: 85 Questions to ask before getting into a relationship

Deep questions to ask when starting a new relationship


Here is a list of deep questions to ask a guy or a girl when starting a new relationship to get to know them deeper:

35. What makes you sad?

36. What has happened to break your heart so badly that you can’t stop crying?

37. Who do you admire and why?

38. Which language(s) do you speak fluently?

39. If you could change anything about yourself what would it be?

40. How often should we communicate with each other?

41. What’s your primary mode of communication?

42. Do you consider yourself as hardworking or lazy?

43. Do you drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes or use drugs, if so how often?

44. Would you rather stay at home on weekends and watch your series or enjoy with friends in a nightclub?

45. At what age are you planning to get married?

Also read: 21 Questions for a new relationship, From Deep to S#xy

46. What is your biggest fear in life?

47. What is the first impression people usually get of you?

48. What is the nicest compliment you’ve ever received?

49. What are some qualities that attract you to me?

50. What is your favorite book and why?

51. When do you go out of your way to show me affection and appreciation?

52. What drives your behavior: Logic or emotions?

53. What is your greatest achievement in life?

54. What is the best advice you’ve ever received?

55. What are your thoughts on having children?

56. Do you have any pets and what are their names?

Also read: 75+ Early relationship questions to ask your partner

Important Questions to ask when you start a new relationship


The following are some of the best and important questions to ask when starting a relationship:

57. What keeps you up at night?

58. What keeps you moving forward in life?

58. What is your definition of true happiness?

59. What are your thoughts on death?

60. Do you have a good relationship with your parents and/or extended family members?

61. What are your goals in life?

62. What is the nicest thing you’ve done for someone recently?

63. What are your hopes and dreams for the future?

64. What do you find to be the hardest part of this relationship?

65. Do you believe in god?

66. Do you seek science or religion for the answers?

67. What is your opinion of gay rights?

68. What are your thoughts on sex before marriage?

69. What are the three main things you want to accomplish in life?

70. Do you feel lucky in life?

71. What is your guilty pleasure?

Also read: 40 New relationship questions to ask yourself and also for him or her (boyfriend, girlfriend, or partner)

Serious questions to ask someone you just started dating


Here is a list of serious and quality questions to ask someone you just started dating:

72. What are your feelings on infidelity?

73. What are the qualities you’re looking for in a potential spouse?

74. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done in life?

75. Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic or practical nerd?

76. What is your personal mission statement?

77. What is the story of your life?

78. Do you feel like you are enough?

79. What is the scariest thought you’ve had in the past few weeks?

80. How often do you feel lonely and alone?

81. How many members are in your closest friends circle?

82. Do you have any plans other than your day job?

83. What are your spending habits?

84. What are your likes and dislikes?

Also read: 75+ Trick questions to ask a cheater or your unfaithful spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend

Intimate Questions to ask at the start of a relationship


These are some intimate and personal questions to ask at the start of a relationship

85. What is your all-time favorite movie?

86. What are you really passionate about in life?

87. How should we plan our finances and time?

92. How do you handle your anger?

93. What are your thoughts on social media?

94. How important is physical attraction to you in a relationship?

95. Are you completely healed from your past trauma?

96. What makes you think we should marry each other?

97. How often should we take a break from our professional lives and plan for adventures?

98. When should we plan for having children and what are your thoughts on having kids?

99. Do you follow certain traditions from your culture?

100. How often should we meet our family members?

Also read: 100 Serious relationship questions to ask yourself and your partner (For him or her)

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Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry. His expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few. To be updated with his latest work, connect with him by following his social media accounts.

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