How to stop being insecure: Step-by-step guide to overcome insecurities

Are you too much worried about your insecurities and in a constant battle with yourself inside your head about how to stop being insecure?

Do you know – Because of insecurities, we become better as an individual? You may think insecurities take the life out of you. But they are the most powerful source of motivation and for a good cause.

By realizing the fundamental psychology, we can make our insecurities do the favor for us, instead of working against us.

Related: How to stay motivated: Tips, strategies and techniques to motivate yourself all the time.

So, before creating yourself to feel insecure with such thoughts, just generously reflect and instead ask –

“What am I really insecure about?”

“Are my insecurities biologically inherited, or have they just developed over time?”

“Am I really insecure about myself or am I just in the idea of being insecure about others or their judgments?”

“Is there anything in my human power to overcome my insecurities?”

“Can I solve my insecurities on my own or do I seriously need someone’s help?”

With these basic questions, if you are confident enough to come up with your own answers, I am almost sure, you have solved your 70% insecurity issues. Rest, you need to work on yourself.

If not,  stick with me till the end if you are completely serious to transform your life.

Before proceeding with how to stop being insecure and deal with any relationship insecurities, let’s understand the entire philosophy of insecurities.

What are insecurities?

Insecurities are the thoughts of uncertainty and feelings of unworthiness about oneself.

Self-doubt or lack of self-confidence results in various mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and fears.

All these make a person insecure about oneself or about others. Which also makes them appear socially awkward personalities.

Related Article: Complete guide to finding your voice of individuality.

5 Types of insecurities

There is no particular set of insecurities, as you may find many in any field of the area in life.

However, these 5 types of insecurities can be considered as roots and any number of insecurities can be derived from these.

Type 1: Personal insecurities

Personal insecurities are triggered by negative emotions about oneself, which make them to be vulnerable and feel inferior to others.

Such instability of thoughts or feelings impacts one’s self-image and hampers their individual growth if not acted upon at the right time. 

Type 2: Relationship insecurities

Relationship insecurities are developed by one person about another person in a relationship or family due to dominant traits such as ego, jealousy, over-controlling, and self-righteousness.

And inferior traits such as acts of the victim, oversensitivity, and immaturity. These traits trigger two individuals insecure about each other and may lead to separation.

Type 3: Professional insecurities

Professional insecurities are often caused in men and women, due to fear of failure on career growth, and no satisfaction in work.

Competence in business or no progress in a particular area of the field. All these insecurities may lead to fulfillment or disappointment in life. 

Type 4: Financial Insecurities

Financial insecurities are also known as economic insecurities which are triggered by a lack of stability in life due to no mastery over money either in earning, saving or spending.

Which leads to self-worth issues and other relationship conflicts.

Type 5: Social insecurities

Social insecurities are completely triggered by one’s undeveloped personality traits. For example: Feeling insecure in various social gatherings and becoming nervous around strangers.

This makes one appear socially awkward and others may feel uncomfortable.

List of insecurities and the most common insecurities among men and women with examples as follows:

Insecurity 1: Physical body insecurities

Body insecurities are the most common among men and women who feel insecure about how they look.

Often compare their bodies to their peers and question the worth of their life in a part of the people’s lives, especially those they truly care about.

At a certain point in life every individual experiences this type of insecurity.

Insecurity 2: Emotional status insecurities

Emotional insecurities are also commonly regarded among people, who are weak in difficult situations. And not good at handling life, especially in controlling their emotions.

Easily gives up on life and considers themselves as not good enough. Although it is natural in all very difficult for over-sensitive people.

Insecurity 3: Sexual insecurities

Sexual insecurities can be witnessed both in men and women. Who think they are not good in bed and worry that their sexual performance can impact their relationships. 

Insecurity 4: Psychological instability insecurities

Psychological instability insecurities are seen in people who suffer from mental health issues. Due to inherently possessed disabilities, they feel insecure about their existence and end up with all sorts of health issues.

Insecurity 5: self-image or personality insecurities

Self-image or personality insecurities are also another common insecurity in which people often worry about how others perceive them.

They feel insecure due to the high standards they put on themselves. And expect others to treat them with the same respect or self-image they created for themselves.

Insecurity 6: Family or relationship insecurities

Relationship insecurities are the top most common insecurities people very often suffer with.

The main reason for such feelings of insecurity is a lack of self-love and a poor connection between both the partners or family members.

Such imbalance in between their romantic or emotional life can create these insecurities.

Insecurity 7: Career insecurities

Career insecurities can be developed in any individual who seeks independent life and has heavy responsibilities to handle.

Fear of losing a job, no progression in life, and not loving what they do are few signs of career insecurities.

Insecurity 8: Money insecurities

No stability in life can create money insecurities in every individual. As money is the instrument for a better change in personal, professional, and in relationships. Lack of financial knowledge and lack of self-awareness can lead to feeling serious insecurity issues economically.

Insecurity 9: Social media Insecurities

In the age of the digital era, people are obsessed with popular personalities. 

Comparing themselves and their status to others leads to hatred, jealousy, and lack of self-worth. This may end up feeling insecure about their bodies and lifestyle, ultimately impacting on personal and relationship life.

Insecurity 10: Socially or public gathering insecurities

Social insecurities are mostly faced by people whose personality traits are introverted in nature.

Who feel insecure about their self-image in the presence of a large group of people. This insecurity is often due to fear of criticism and judgment.

Related: How to be patience?

List of insecurities in women

Let’s look into the list of insecurities in women that they commonly face in their lifetime.

I am summarizing the top insecurities with examples to give you an idea of how women feel insecure about themselves. If you are truly worried about how to deal with insecurities, here are the tips and solutions to overcome those insecurities.

Women Insecurity 1: Beauty insecurities

Problem: Once women cross their teenage and enter adulthood, their concern about appearance and in the constant urge to attract people with their physical beauty increases.

Especially because of social media and the influence of female celebrities, it becomes excessive. 

One of the major reasons for their beauty insecurity is to feel accepted by their desired partner.

They feel completely insecure about their body size, age, weight, eye color, hair color, skin color, height, and breast size by comparison to other women and feel inferior and insecure about their entire life.

Solution: Being a woman, it’s absolutely normal to dream of the perfect body. As it shapes one’s personality and helps to build self-confidence. However, it should have some limits before taking one too serious about one’s looks.

In order to overcome beauty insecurities follow these simple and practical tips:

  • Tip 1: Practice self-acceptance if there is no way to change how you were created in your mother’s womb. Once you accept yourself with self-love, the right people will naturally be attracted to you for your confidence, irrespective of looks.
  • Tip 2: Instead of feeling insecure and making yourself down about your body, hit to the gym and challenge yourself to work on your body. It’s always not about attracting others, shifting your mindset – it’s about creating a healthy lifestyle and living a long-lasting relationship with yourself and the people who care for you.
  • Tip 3: Ignore social media and all the fake fantasy celebrity showoffs. Just realize that they are promoting their own beauty brands and monetizing your beauty insecurities with their expensive products which will be no good for your body and health.

Women Insecurity 2: Self insecurities

Problem: Self insecurities are caused due to lack of self-awareness. Women often do not know their true potential and suffer from a lack of purpose in life which results in so many health problems and mental issues.

Solution: Self insecurities can be dealt by the realization of one’s self-worth. Follow these tips to overcome your self insecurities. 

  • Tip 1: Practice being alone and reflect inside until you master yourself by discovering strengths and weaknesses. Being alone really helps to ignite your imagination and make you understand more about yourself.
  • Tip 2: Stop self-abusing, negative thoughts, and comparison with others. Realize that everyone is having their own issues and everyone is in their own pace to figure out their lives. So, you are not alone.
  • Tip 3:  Read self-help books, digest educational information, and practice self-care to achieve self-actualization.

Women Insecurity 3: Personality Insecurities

Problem: Personality insecurity is also one of the major insecure feelings which often triggers common issues of jealousy, trust issues, narcissistic behavior or becoming a victim to difficult situations.

This is due to one’s high standards, expectations, and personal values.

Solution: There are many ways one can overcome personality issues as it is particularly deals with one’s character and self-image. Follow these tips to get rid of your personality insecurities.

  • Tip 1: Cultivate empathy in yourself to understand the feelings of others. Share kindness and be for others when they need you. That makes you a good person.
  • Tip 2: Figure out your limiting beliefs and come out of your comfort zone. Learn to open yourself to the opportunities and the endless possibilities of life. You will for sure begin to enjoy your new self in person.
  • Tip 3: Due to inherited personality traits such as introvert or extrovert people generally struggle with mood shifts. Find your strengths and make use of them to work for yourself, rather than against you.

Related: How to stop comparing yourself to others?

Women Insecurity 4: Sexual insecurities

Problem: Sexual insecurities are often caused due to one’s own lack of or excessive sexual desires and also because of bodily changes, external negative influences may trigger these insecurities which may impact on relationships.

Solution: Particularly these sexual insecurities are too personal and cannot be avoided at any cost. Follow these tips to overcome.

  • Tip 1: Be clear with your thoughts that it’s okay if your biological needs are different from others. Learn to shift your focus if you are completely obsessed or lack in such desires.
  • Tip 2: If you are in a relationship, then discussing with the partner is the possible option by understanding each other’s physical needs.
  • Tip 3: Consult a physician and follow the prescription that are being advised.

Women Insecurity 5: Intellectual insecurities

Problem: In this age of technology and rapid pacing life both women and men often struggle with personal and professional life by comparing their intelligence with their peers who are doing great in certain fields. Such comparison makes them feel insecure and unworthy in life.

Solution: Intellectual securities can be triggered by ego, self-righteousness or due to perfectionist traits. If you are seriously struggling and thinking about how to stop being insecure? Follow these tips:

  • Tip 1: Understand that each individual is genetically wired with unique intelligence. And it can be varied from different personal experiences. So, instead of making yourself feel insecure focus on your gifts and talents.
  • Tip 2: There is infinite possibility for inner growth if you are willing to work on yourself. Begin to exercise with your thoughts, and have deep conversations with your trusted ones. In such a way you can inculcate healthy thinking habits and improve your intelligence.
  • Tip 3: Read thought-provoking books, take risks and do what you love. So that you can have a fulfilled life.

Women Insecurity 6: Emotional insecurities

Problem: Emotional insecurities are more common in women than men as they take everything seriously and act sensitively to the events.

These insecurities are triggered by past traumas, self-doubts, or just it is the downside of one’s personality trait.  Which may lead to many mental health disorders if not taken action at the right time.

Solution: Emotional insecurities come and go if treated with conscious efforts. How to overcome insecurities of emotions? Follow these tips below:

  • Tip 1: In times of difficult times, instead of taking things too personally, make yourself come out of the emotional state. See yourself as a different person and think with logic, then everything makes sense.
  • Tip 2: Be close with your loved ones, spend time just reflecting on yourself, and feel all the pain instead of avoiding it. Stop overthinking and just embrace life as it flows. It truly helps.
  • Tip 3: seek professional advice and attend experienced emotional therapist sessions and be mindful during adversities.

Women Insecurity 7: Relationship Insecurities

Problem: Relationship insecurities may be different for women when compared to men.

Mostly, in relationships females feel insecure about their appearance, feeling of inadequacy or jealousy when her partner talks with other women, and also in constant fear of losing the person they are truly in love with.

Solution: Relationship insecurities are widely faced with problems around the world. There are ‘n’ number of issues if we dig deep into them. However, follow these top best tips to overcome your relationship insecurities.

  • Tip 1: Communication is the best remedy for every issue, especially in relationships. If you think you have an understanding partner, it’s wise to share your relationship insecurities with him and work on them period.
  • Tip 2: Maintaining a healthy relationship is really difficult. When things don’t go as planned, instead of becoming angry, figure out the root problem. If you think it can be corrected or to be forgiven, take conscious decisions about them.
  • Tip 3: If you think your relationship insecurities are more critical and cannot be solved. Just give a last try to fix and seek the advice of a relationship coach or psychologist. That’s the best option.

Women Insecurity 8:Competence Insecurities

Problem: Women or men with extremely competitive spirits often feel insecure about their performances in personal or professional lives.

They procrastinate the difficult tasks by doubting their skills, comparing themselves with high-performing peers, and emotionally draining themselves by fear of failure.

Solution: Competent mindset is good for a certain level, but should not be driven by the winning motive or seeking appraisals. Because such intentions will not last long, and you will go no further.

That’s because you need someone to motivate you each time you lack in interest. If you want to figure out how to stop being insecure about it, follow these tips below:

Tip 1: Whatever the job or work you prefer to do, create a passion for it, so that you will become more aware of yourself and fall in love with your efforts. That will tend to help you to keep inspiring and compare with your former self rather than comparing with others. The goal is always you vs you.

Tip 2: Figure out whether your creativity flows when you work in quiet environments or working with a team. Then adjust your timetable and stick to it.

Tip 3: To increase your productivity take regular breaks and start with a fresh mindset. Use music to elevate a positive mood and for improved focus.

Women Insecurity 9: Gendered Insecurities

Problem: Women often feel insecure about female discrimination at home, at workplace, or in society in general.

That makes them lose their self-confidence and causes extremely mental health issues. That’s because of a feeling of the dominance of men in their relationship, family or outside.

Solution: You have two options – one is to make them realize their ignorance or go so far away from such people. We can make some people find their true selves. However, sometimes it is better to leave their fate to themselves.

Women Insecurity 10: Social Insecurities

Problem: The most common insecurity in women is social media or social gatherings. As they are constantly in fear of judgment and criticism.

That leads them not to come out of their little shell and be their true selves. Which ultimately make them socially awkward.

Solution: If you are thinking about how to overcome insecurities of social media, then the first and foremost thing you need to consider is to take as much good and positivity from the digital media.

Then love yourself for the way you are gifted with. To improve your social skills, instead of being reserved, practice active participation in long-talk conversations. And build up confidence for yourself.

List of Insecurities in men

Most of the insecurities in men and women are very common as we are all living in the same society. We struggle with similar emotions.

However, the level of feeling of such insecurities depends upon the responsibilities of each individual. And how they respond to them. Below are the list of insecurities in men:

Male insecurity 1: Financial stability insecurities

Male insecurity 2: Job or business insecurities

Male insecurity 3: Relationships and family responsibility insecurities.

Male insecurity 4: Body image Insecurities

Male insecurity 5: Sexual ability insecurities

Male insecurity 6: Intellectual insecurities

Male insecurity 7: Personality Insecurities.

Male insecurity 8: Self insecurities

Male insecurity 9: Emotional insecurities

Male insecurity 10: Social status insecurities

Causes of insecurities in men and women.

1. Lack of awareness

2. Lack of self-confidence

3. Low self-esteem

4. self-doubt

5. Perfectionism

6. Lack of self Acceptance

7. Fear of failures

8. Standards

9. Expectations

10. Being different or act weird

11. Past tragic experiences

12. Daily routines

13. Criticism

14. Judgement

Negative Effects of insecurity

1. Loneliness

2. Feeling of Inadequacy

3. Uncertainty

4. Anxiety and depression

5. Not taking any actions.

6. Slow progression or not reaching goals

7. Not feeling grateful for life

8. Not living in reality

9. Disappointments

10 Feeling isolated or ashamed of being oneself.

11. Trust issues

12. No fulfillment in life.

13. Feeling unworthiness

14. Being misunderstood.

Signs of Insecurity in a woman:

1. Over thinking and not good enough at anything.

2. Self-body shaming

3. Sensitive to criticism and easily gets offended

4. Jealous of other women

5. Extreme need of attention.

6. Acts as victim

7. Comparing with others on social media

8. Pleasing others to be liked.

9. Manipulating or decisive with emotions.

10. Feeling insecure for depending on family.

Signs of Insecurities in a man.

1. Showing emotional side and looking weak

2. Not good in bed

3. No results or no progression in life

4. Not having the perfect body: insecurity about looks and style.

5. Excessive bragging about accomplishments and achievements.

6. Being insecure about chronically ill and physical limitations

7. Insecure about being misunderstood and not understood at all

8. Aggressive and easily gets offended.

9. Control freak and dominant

10. Insecure of does not fit in society

Relationship Insecurities

Types of insecurities in a relationship

Relationship insecurities 1: Physical appearance

Relationship insecurities 2: Emotional Dependency

Relationship insecurities 3: Sexual performance

Relationship insecurities 4: Financial stability

Signs of insecurities in a relationship

1. Not trusting the partner

2. Needy for constant assurance.

3. Judging and criticizing for every act.

4. Showing hatred or jealous feelings

5. Feel insecure to apologize and accept their mistakes:

6. Door slamming and abandoning the partner at the right moment.

7. Over controlling and verbally abusing

8. Showing Self-righteousness and demanding

9. No commitment of love and connection.

10. Feeling insecure about partner’s success.

Related: How to find the right partner for lifelong relationship?

For more relationship Insights, inspirational quotes and updates connect with me on Twitter and Instagram.

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Author
Naveen Bommakanti

Naveen is Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry.

Naveen’s expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few.

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