How to get over someone who broke your heart? (3 Steps +10 Tips)

Getting over someone who broke your heart can be one of the hardest things to do because you still have feelings for them and you want them to come back into your life.

Maybe you even blame yourself for what happened and you wish you could go back in time and change it.

It’s natural to feel this way but knowing how to get over someone who broke your heart twice isn’t something that comes naturally.

You have to find ways to get through it, even if it’s hard at first. The more you work on getting over someone the easier it will become, but there are some things that will make the process easier than others.

Recommended reading for you: How to get over someone who hurt you and used you? (23 Tips)

Sometimes, despite everything we do and how hard we try, we simply can’t get over a person we care about. We want to, but we just can’t seem to actually do it.

Perhaps there is no one event that causes us to stop loving someone. Instead, it’s a series of events and feelings that help us decide—in our minds—that what we feel for him isn’t love after all.

But whether you decide he wasn’t right for you or he was truly your one true love, everyone needs time to adjust when a relationship ends. We are only humans after all.

It’s somehow easy to get over someone you never had, but when it comes to heartbreak, there’s no silver lining. Love hurts, but it doesn’t have to last forever. Learn how to break up with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend after the relationship ends, no matter how it ended, whether it was peaceful or because of cheating or something else entirely.

Let go of this person you loved and start moving on with your life with these tips on how to get over someone who broke your heart.

How to get over someone who broke your heart?

how to get over someone who broke your heart multiple times How to get over someone who broke your heart? (3 Steps +10 Tips)

Nothing hurts more than seeing someone you love break your heart. But, when they do, you have two choices: let them take pieces of you with them or take control of your life again. What’s it going to be?

Learn how to get over someone who broke your heart by understanding what kind of situation you’re in and applying some good old-fashioned soul searching.

You can heal after a broken heart—it’s not impossible! By thinking about things from a philosophical perspective, you may realize that sometimes things aren’t meant to be no matter how hard we try. And isn’t that an empowering thought?

If you could figure out what you wanted out of your own relationship, then surely you will find clarity on how to deal with your emotional attachment. The healing will start before you know it because eventually everything will become easier than dealing with all of these feelings every day. 

As Socrates said True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us. So enjoy your process of healing and don’t forget that you’ll always come out stronger on the other side. Eventually, things will begin to make sense again.

To make it easier for you, I have broken down that soul searching into three phases: acceptance, decision and commitment. These will help you to know yourself and guide you on how to get over someone who broke your heart. Let’s get started!

3 Steps to get over someone who broke your heart

how to get over someone who broke your heart over and over again How to get over someone who broke your heart? (3 Steps +10 Tips)

Step 1: Acceptance 

It’s all about letting go. In order to move on from a relationship that didn’t work out, you have to accept what happened and start looking forward instead of back.

Acknowledge how you feel without judgment, write about those feelings in a journal, talk them out with friends or take any other actions that help you process your emotions.

Whatever you do, don’t let anger fester inside of you; letting go of negative emotions is vital because it will help you open up space for something better.

Finding strength in vulnerability helps too. While everyone likes to pretend they know everything there is to know about everything, nobody does—including you.

You might be surprised by how much more comfortable you are when you admit that fact rather than trying to seem like an expert in everything.

Other people may surprise themselves too when they find themselves connecting more easily with you if they see vulnerability as a sign of strength rather than weakness.

Recommended reading: How to get over someone you love deeply: Step by step guide + 50 Tips

Now isn’t that worth working toward? If you can’t accept this painful truth, then you’ll spend your life hoping reality will change instead of doing what needs to be done.

When someone has broken your heart, that means he or she has wounded your self-respect and emotional well-being. There is no quick cure for broken pride and emotional wounds—you have to build them up again slowly with the caring support of friends and loved ones.

Most importantly, there is no cure for broken pride and emotional wounds in staying in touch with your ex or wanting them back in any way.

You’ve already been through that stage and they didn’t care then—don’t expect their minds to miraculously change when they discover how miserable you’ve become because of their callousness toward you.

Step 2: Commitment

After you’ve made peace with where you’re at right now and decided to make a change, commit. Get ready to commit 100% of yourself even if only 10% feels good at first.

Your commitment can include some changes in your life such as stop obsessing over someone who broke your heart or not sabotaging yourself and blaming yourself or chasing your dreams and passion.

However these details shake out for you personally, keep one thing firmly in mind: nothing happens until you act! And acting starts with making firm decisions.

Stop thinking things through and begin taking action. Commitment leads to transformation. The moment you step off autopilot into intentional living, there’s no turning back to that place where you used to exist before.

Your relationships with others will improve since you’ll become more mindful of how you treat them.

You’ll tend to worry less about what others think of you because remembering your own imperfections won’t cause anxiety anymore; and productivity should increase because problem-solving issues should become easier while staying focused becomes easier.

No matter how many times or ways love leaves us broken-hearted or broken, we must pick ourselves up again and again until we’ve learned enough lessons along our journey—or until we run out of chances to learn anything else.

Either way, we cannot avoid pain forever. We just have to choose how to experience that pain, either as a source of suffering or as a teacher.

To stay positive, you have to remember that getting knocked down allows you to learn how to stand back up.

Recommended reading: How to get over someone who cheated and lied and used and played you?

Life is so precious because once our hearts shatter, they never fully mend. Instead, each scar reminds us that we need to slow down and appreciate each moment with family and friends more fully. 

You’re stronger than you realize; your resilience will carry you through tough situations in life because you are already strong enough to survive breaking up with someone you love.

You’ve survived pain before and you will again. You have so much strength within you, more than you know—more than you have had to draw upon in your lifetime thus far.

With that being said, don’t wait for your pain to rip your soul apart for someone who really cares about how they’ve affected you or what they’ve done to your life. Don’t wait until they betray you over and over again with no remorse.

Step 3: Decision

What are you doing with your life? If there is no one in it, you’re not in love; you’re not in a relationship. Love is an action.

You may like or love your ex, but if it ended badly and you’re making excuses for why he (or she) did what he did, you need to ask yourself if there was really a relationship there at all—or if it was just wishful thinking on your part.

Why else would someone treat you so horribly? If he or she can really walk away from a good thing, then clearly it wasn’t meant to be. And now that person knows how capable they are of walking away.

They may even find another victim and use their new mantra: Love them and leave them. Be glad that you’ve learned they’re incapable of loving anyone else as well as they loved themselves. And now they’ve learned that about themselves as well.

So, don’t try to change them. Take the decision to get over someone who broke your heart multiple times and just move on without even thinking twice.

10 Tips to get over someone who broke your heart twice or multiple times.

Everyone knows how hard it is to move on from a break up, but there are steps you can take that will help you recover and find happiness again. Here’s what you need to know. First and foremost, know that it takes time.

Even if you haven’t been dating for very long or there were extenuating circumstances that led to your breakup, ending a relationship always takes time – and usually more than we expect. 

Give yourself time to grieve and be patient with yourself as you move through these feelings of loss and sadness.

Acknowledge those feelings but try not to fixate on them; instead put all of your focus into moving forward with positivity and optimism so you can create a new life for yourself. Focus on creating new opportunities in life.

Here are some tips for moving on from someone who broke your heart.

1. Don’t try too hard to force feelings of missing them away. 

Give yourself time before moving forward with dating or meeting new people because otherwise you might come across as desperate or needy.

This often leads guys to date girls they wouldn’t have normally because they don’t want anyone else being interested in her/him, so letting yourself naturally miss him/her will allow you to heal without seeming pushy or attention-seeking during dates with other people. 

2. Focus on what went wrong within your relationship, not just why it ended

We tend to go back and forth between thinking, I wish I never met him/her, and he/she was right for me. Well guess what?

The truth is that they weren’t right for you anymore. The only way that anything in life gets better is if we’re honest with ourselves about what happened in order to prevent similar things from happening in the future.

Whatever went wrong will continue to drive you crazy unless you address it head on rather than run away from your problems. 

3. Be kind to yourself

Don’t blame yourself for everything. When something goes bad, even though you feel like it’s mostly your fault, chances are you played only a small part in what actually occurred. Blaming yourself won’t help matters; instead take responsibility for making mistakes but don’t beat yourself up over things that were beyond your control (you’re allowed to make mistakes!). 

4. Make an effort to take care of yourself each day

Spend at least five minutes doing something self-care related like exercising, taking a bath, reading one of your favorite books or listening to music you love.

Self care sounds trivial but believe me; it’s vital to keeping yourself feeling happy while getting over someone that broke your heart. 

5. Surround yourself with good people

Friendships become more important than ever following a tough breakup because every person needs support throughout times of transition.

Surrounding yourself with positive and supportive friends not only helps ease loneliness caused by breakup but also makes you feel more optimistic about life since you’ll constantly receive uplifting comments. 

6. Enjoy life

The best thing you can do for yourself is to learn to enjoy life again despite your broken heart. If [insert name] broke your heart then that means that he/she has taken happiness away from you, and it’s unfair to expect yourself to remain unhappy forever.

Learn to look towards a brighter future and see what great things life has waiting for you once they are no longer in your life. Once you’ve gotten through your breakup, you’ll be able to completely move on with your life.

Don’t spend any of your time or energy attempting to bring [insert name]back into your life because they are someone that broke your heart and aren’t worth it. Follow these simple steps and you will quickly get over that breakup that has been bothering you for so long. Best of luck!

7. Don’t blame yourself for things out of your control. 

Life isn’t always fair, and some people will hurt us whether we deserve it or not. Even in situations where you made a mistake, blaming yourself only perpetuates negative feelings, which is counter-productive towards moving on with your life! 

8. Leave him/her in the past. 

When thinking about an ex, try hard to think about positive memories instead of dwelling on negative ones. Sometimes that can be difficult if there were traumatic breakups or fights that ended poorly.

Try writing down all of your memories on paper, not just the good ones—and then throw them away. 

Trying to forget an ex can seem impossible at times, but building up new positive memories helps create stronger bonds between yourself and those around you — rather than holding onto one person who may have done more harm than good! 

9. Move forward

 If something didn’t work out for whatever reason, learn from what happened so that you are better prepared next time.

Remembering how your last relationship failed will help keep you from making similar mistakes next time.

In other words, do not let failed relationships affect other areas of your life; make sure they stay in their proper place – as a memory and nothing more. 

10. Don’t rush and be thoughtful about your future relationships.

Choose to spend time with friends and family members who build you up and love you for who you really are: people you feel comfortable sharing everything with without worrying about looking dumb or stupid.

It can take weeks, months or even years before we feel ready to start dating again after getting our hearts broken – so don’t rush it. 

Take every precaution necessary to keep yourself safe while embarking on such an important journey back into healthy relationships.

Final thoughts:

My final thoughts on How to get over someone who broke your heart is that the hardest part about getting over someone who hurt you is learning how to trust yourself again.

You have to realize that there are so many better people out there, and you deserve much more than what they gave you. When you’re in love with someone it can be hard, but remember that time will heal your wounds, no matter how deep they are.

What’s most important is that one day, after being alone for a while you’ll meet someone else. Someone worth trusting again. And if it takes a while, just know things will work out.

The key is to stop thinking about them as much as possible. Don’t think of them as you go to sleep at night, don’t think of them as you wake up in the morning, and do not wonder what they are doing or what they are thinking.

There is no point in worrying about it because you cannot fix it and all you will do is hurt yourself by constantly wondering and fretting.

Let go and trust that everything happens for a reason and one day soon enough you will forget about that person entirely.

If you keep pondering over their existence then surely one day, whether it be years or decades later, you will realize just how pointless they really were to your life! At least I hope so anyways.

Related resources: Is it possible for someone to love you and still cheat on you?

How to get over someone you never had?

How to get over someone you love who doesn’t love you back?

Image credits: People vector created by –

Dating Guide

Gain access to life-changing insights on dating, relationships, and psychology of love and life.

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for info.

This page may uses affiliate links. When you click an affiliate link, we get a small compensation at no cost to you. See Our affiliate policy for more info.
Photo of author
Naveen Bommakanti

Naveen is Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry.

Naveen’s expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few.

To be updated with Naveen's work, connect with him by following his social media accounts.

Leave a Comment