How to tell if your fwb is seeing someone else? 15 signs and 10 tips to ask if they are sleeping with other people

By: Naveen B

Friends with benefits, a type of relationship that blurs the lines between friendship and romance, can be a great way to fulfill physical desires without the commitment of a traditional relationship. 

However, what happens when your fwb starts to see someone else? How do you know if your FWB is still on the same page or has moved on?

It’s a tricky situation that can leave you feeling confused and insecure.

After all, you have a vested interest in this person, but you also agreed to keep things casual. So, how do you navigate this territory with grace and respect?

In this guide, we’ll explore the signs that your FWB might be seeing someone else, and how to approach the conversation with them.

We’ll also discuss the common emotions that arise when your FWB starts dating someone else and offer tips to help you navigate these feelings.

So, get ready to gain some insights and facts about how to tell if your FWB is seeing someone else and how to handle it with dignity and poise.

When FWB starts dating someone else?

If you are wondering when do friends with benefits start dating someone else? It depends on the individuals involved and the specific dynamics of their friends with benefits (FWB) arrangement.

In some cases, the FWB agreement may include a clause or understanding that either party is free to date other people while still maintaining the benefits of their friendship. In this scenario, it would not be considered a breach of the agreement for one person to start dating someone else.

However, in other cases, the FWB arrangement may not explicitly allow for dating other people, and one person starting to date someone else could be seen as a breach of the agreement or a sign that they are exploring multiple fwb relationships to satisfy their emotional or physical needs or their wildest fantasies.

You can also justify that when a FWB starts dating someone else, it can be a sign that the FWB relationship has run its course.

You must understand that a FWB arrangement is not a traditional monogamous relationship, and it is not uncommon for one or both of the individuals to start dating someone else while still being FWB.

In a FWB arrangement, both individuals are free to date and to be intimate with other people. This means that if one person starts dating someone else, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the FWB relationship is over.

It is possible for FWB arrangements to last for long periods of time, provided that the individuals involved are aware of the relationship structure and discuss their expectations for the relationship openly and honestly.

However, if one partner starts to feel more deeply for the other, or if the FWB arrangement starts to feel unfulfilling to one or both partners, then it may be time to consider transitioning out of the FWB dynamic and into a more traditional relationship.

It is important to differentiate between the two types of relationships, as they require different levels of commitment.

Ultimately, when a FWB starts dating someone else, it is an opportunity for both individuals to evaluate the dynamics of their FWB relationship and decide if they would like to move forward or part ways.

It is essential to think through any potential changes to the relationship before taking action, as this will help ensure that everyone involved is on the same page.

Also read: 50 Signs your fwb doesn’t like you

How to tell if your fwb is seeing someone else?

When it comes to determining whether or not your friends with benefits (FWB) is seeing someone else, it’s important to consider all aspects of the relationship you share.

The most obvious indicator of this is communication. If your FWB has suddenly become more distant or isn’t as responsive to your messages as they once were, this could be a sign that they are spending more time with someone else. 

Another indicator can be physical affection. If your FWB is no longer as physically affectionate with you as they once were, or if they seem to be avoiding physical contact altogether, this could be a sign that they are interested in someone else. 

It is also important to pay attention to the way your FWB talks about other people. If they suddenly start talking about someone in particular more than usual, or if they are noticeably more excited when talking about that person, this could be a sign that they may have feelings for them. 

Finally, pay attention to the way your FWB behaves when you’re together. If they seem to be more distant or uninterested in what you are saying, or if they are more focused on their phone than on spending time with you, this could be a sign that they may be seeing someone else. 

Ultimately, it is important to remember that everyone is different and it’s possible that your FWB isn’t seeing someone else at all.

The only way to know for sure is to communicate with them directly. If you have any doubts, it’s best to have an honest conversation and ask them directly.

Also read: FWB ghosted me: Why has my FWB gone quiet and being distant by giving silent treatment?

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15 Signs your fwb is seeing someone else or sleeping with other people

Here are some of the sure signs your friends with benefits is cheating on you by seeing someone else or sleeping with other people:

1. Decreased communication:

If your FWB is seeing someone else, they may become less responsive to your messages or calls, and may not be as available to hang out or hook up as they used to be.

2. Change in behavior:

You may notice a change in their behavior, such as being more distant or secretive. They may also avoid certain topics or activities that they used to enjoy with you.

3. Social media activity:

Keep an eye on their social media activity, such as their posts, comments, and likes. If they’re seeing someone else, they may be more active on social media with that person or may post pictures or updates with them.

4. Change in availability:

If your FWB is seeing someone else, they may not be as available to hang out or hook up with you as they used to be. They may cancel plans more frequently or be less spontaneous when it comes to meeting up.

5. Changes in physical behavior:

If your FWB is seeing someone else, they may become less affectionate or intimate with you. They may not want to cuddle or hold hands like they used to.

Also read: How to make your friend with benefits fall for you and catch feelings?

6. Different excuses:

If your FWB is seeing someone else, they may come up with different excuses for why they can’t hang out or hook up. They may say they’re busy with work or other commitments, but if this is a sudden change, it could be a red flag.

7. Secretive behavior:

If your FWB is seeing someone else, they may become more secretive about their activities and whereabouts. They may not want to share details about their plans or who they’re spending time with.

8. Less emotional intimacy:

If your FWB is seeing someone else, they may become less emotionally intimate with you. They may not want to talk about their feelings or share personal details like they used to.

9. Gut feeling:

Sometimes, you may just have a gut feeling that something is off. Trust your instincts and pay attention to any warning signs that your FWB may be seeing someone else.

If something feels off, it’s worth investigating further or having a conversation with your FWB to clarify where you stand.

10. Giving the silent treatment:

If your FWB is seeing someone else, they may start giving you the silent treatment or don’t talk to you at all.

This could be because they feel guilty or because they are prioritizing their new relationship over your FWB relationship.

If you notice that your FWB is giving you the silent treatment or avoiding you, it’s important to have an honest conversation with them to find out what’s going on.

Also read: Friends with benefits vs relationship, difference between dating and open relationship or fwb

11. Suddenly being distant:

If your FWB is seeing someone else, they may suddenly become more distant with you. They may not be as engaged in conversations or may seem less interested in spending time with you. 

This could be a sign that they’re putting more time and energy into their new relationship, or they may be trying to distance themselves from you to avoid hurting your feelings.

If you notice your FWB becoming suddenly distant, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation with them to clarify where you both stand in your relationship.

12. Ghosting and cutting you off suddenly:

If your FWB is seeing someone else, they may choose to ghost you or cut you off suddenly. This can be hurtful and confusing, but it may be a sign that they have decided to pursue a monogamous relationship with someone else.

While it’s important to respect their decision, it’s also important to prioritize your own feelings and well-being.

It’s okay to feel hurt and upset, and you may benefit from seeking support from friends or a therapist to help you process your emotions.

Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide how to move forward and whether you want to continue a FWB relationship or pursue something more serious with someone else.

13. Changes in their appearance:

If your FWB is seeing someone else, they may start paying more attention to their appearance. They may dress differently or spend more time grooming themselves.

While this may not necessarily be a sign that they’re seeing someone else, it could be a clue that something has changed in their life.

14. Avoiding intimacy:

If your FWB is seeing someone else, they may start avoiding intimacy with you. This could mean that they don’t want to have sex as often or that they’re less interested in cuddling or being physically affectionate.

While this could be a sign that they’re seeing someone else, it’s important to have an honest conversation with them to find out what’s going on and to make sure you’re both on the same page about your relationship.

15. Being evasive about their whereabouts:

If your FWB is seeing someone else, they may become evasive about their whereabouts.

They may not want to share details about where they’re going or who they’re with, and they may be less likely to check in with you or respond to your messages when they’re out.

This could be a sign that they’re trying to keep their new relationship a secret or that they’re prioritizing it over your FWB relationship.

If you notice this behavior, it’s important to have an open and honest conversation with them to find out what’s going on and to clarify your expectations for communication and honesty in your relationship.

Also read: Does my fwb have feelings for me? (Quiz and 15 signs)

How do you ask your FWB if they are sleeping with other people?

Asking a friend with benefits (FWB) if they are sleeping with other people can be a difficult conversation to have. It is important to acknowledge the complexities of such a relationship and the potential for boundaries to be crossed. It is also crucial to consider the potential for feelings of insecurity or jealousy that may arise as a result of having this discussion. 

When approaching this conversation, you may want to start by exploring the nature of the relationship.

Ask yourself what you and your partner have agreed upon and what kind of expectations have been established.

Are there any expectations of fidelity or is the relationship primarily sexual in nature?

By exploring the nature of the relationship, you will be able to better understand the context for this conversation and will be more likely to have a productive discussion.

In addition, you need to consider the power dynamics at play in the relationship.

Are both partners equally invested in the relationship and are both of their needs being met? If one partner is not on the same page as the other, it can lead to confusion and misunderstandings and could potentially lead to hurt feelings.

Once you have explored the context of the relationship, it is important to approach the conversation with respect and empathy.

It can be helpful to start by expressing your own feelings and then exploring what your FWB’s thoughts and feelings are.

It may be helpful to use “I” statements to express your own feelings and to ask open-ended questions about your partner’s feelings. By doing so, you can ensure that your partner feels heard and respected and can better understand their feelings and needs.

Also read: I miss my fwb, why? what to do? (20 reasons and tips to handle the situation)

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10 Tips to ask your FWB if they are sleeping with other people

Here are some tips to ask your friends with benefits if they are sleeping with other people:

1. Be clear about your intentions:

Make it clear that you’re asking out of concern for your own health and safety, and not because you’re trying to control their behavior.

2. Choose the right time and place:

Find a private setting where you can have an open and honest conversation without distractions or interruptions.

3. Use a neutral tone:

Avoid being accusatory or judgmental, and instead use a neutral tone that conveys your genuine curiosity.

4. Be prepared for any answer:

Remember that your FWB has the right to make their own choices about their sexual behavior, and that their answer may not be what you were hoping for.

5. Communicate your boundaries:

If their answer makes you uncomfortable or if you have concerns about your own health and safety, be prepared to communicate your boundaries and take action accordingly.

6. Ask open-ended questions:

Instead of asking yes or no questions, try to ask open-ended questions that encourage your FWB to share their thoughts and feelings.

For example, instead of asking “Are you sleeping with other people?” you could ask “How do you feel about our arrangement and the possibility of either of us sleeping with other people?”

7. Listen actively:

When your FWB is sharing their thoughts and feelings, make sure you actively listen and try to understand their perspective.

Avoid interrupting or dismissing their experiences, and instead show empathy and respect.

8. Be honest about your own feelings:

If the idea of your FWB sleeping with other people makes you uncomfortable, be honest about your own feelings and why you feel that way. It’s important to be authentic and transparent in your communication.

9. Respect their boundaries:

Just as you have the right to set your own boundaries, your FWB also has the right to set their own boundaries.

If they are not comfortable sharing certain information or answering certain questions, respect their wishes and avoid pressuring them.

10. Revisit the conversation as needed:

As your relationship with your FWB evolves, it may be necessary to revisit the conversation about sexual health and boundaries.

Check in with each other regularly to ensure that you’re both comfortable and happy with the arrangement, and be open to adjusting the boundaries as needed.

Also read: What do you do when your fwb stops texting you?

Is it okay to feel sad that your FWB has met someone serious?

It is perfectly normal to feel a range of emotions when your friends with benefits (FWB) has met someone serious.

In such a situation, you need to remember that FWB relationships are founded on a different kind of connection than a romantic relationship.

This unique connection is based on physical and emotional closeness, but it does not involve a romantic commitment or any expectations for the future.

Therefore, it is not uncommon to feel a range of emotions when your FWB relationship ends and your fwb partner move on to something more serious.

When your FWB has met someone serious, it is crucial  to remember that your feelings are valid and that it is okay to feel sadness, disappointment, or even jealousy.

You must realize that the relationship was never intended to be long-term and that the feelings of sadness or disappointment are natural and understandable. Recognize that the FWB relationship was a temporary one and that its end is a part of the process.

While it is important to acknowledge and accept your feelings, it is also necessary to remember that it is not healthy to dwell on them or to linger in a state of sadness or disappointment.

FWB relationships are not meant to be permanent and that it is natural for people to move on and find something more meaningful. It is also important to remember that your FWB’s decision to move on is not a reflection of you, but rather a reflection of their individual journey.

In order to fully move on from the FWB relationship, you must accept the feelings of sadness and disappointment that may arise, while also taking steps to move forward and create a more meaningful connection with someone else.

This can include engaging in activities that bring joy and purpose, such as hobbies or volunteer work, or simply taking time to spend with friends and family.

It is also important to remember that you are not alone in your feelings of sadness and disappointment, and that there are resources available to help you through this difficult time.

Also read: How to get over someone cheating on you? (complete guide: 5 steps + 5 ways + 50 tips)

Final thoughts:

In conclusion, navigating the territory of friends with benefits can be a tricky and delicate process, especially when one party starts to see someone else.

It’s essential to communicate openly and honestly with your FWB, and to approach the situation with respect and dignity.

While it’s natural to feel a range of emotions when your FWB starts dating someone else, it’s important to remember that your arrangement is based on casual intimacy and not exclusivity. 

By recognizing the signs that your FWB might be seeing someone else and having an open and honest conversation about it, you can ensure that you are both on the same page and avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings.

With the tips, insights, and facts provided in this guide, you can navigate the delicate terrain of friends with benefits with confidence and grace.

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Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry. His expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few. To be updated with his latest work, connect with him by following his social media accounts.

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