When you have feelings for someone and you want to tell them, but the fear of rejection keeps you from doing so, what do you do? How to tell someone you have feelings for them or love them deeply? Should you do it in person or over text? What do you say?
This can be such an awkward and difficult situation to navigate, particularly if you’re not sure if the person feels the same way about you.
You have to make yourself vulnerable and put your heart on the line when you decide to tell someone that you have feelings for them, and this can be scary. There are very few things that strike more fear into a person’s heart than rejection. It can be so painful, in fact, that we go out of our way to avoid it.
Recommended reading: How to make someone fall in love with you? (according to psychology and science)
When we really like someone or are attracted to them in some way, though, it is impossible not to think about rejection and heartbreak. The good news is that when you have strong feelings for someone who reciprocates those feelings there is an easy way to find out: just ask.
Taking risks might lead to rejections but failing because you didn’t try leads only to regret. So if you have feelings for someone then don’t waste another minute—tell them how you feel before it’s too late.
Luckily, there are some things that can help lessen the fear of rejection and let you know how to tell someone you have feelings for them. If you follow these tips, telling someone you have feelings will be much easier and help you make the process go as smoothly as possible
How to tell someone you have feelings for them?
Telling somebody that you have feelings for them is kind of a big deal. Whether it’s just a matter of a crush or if it’s something deeper, every little detail of your relationship will change and your life will change too — especially if things don’t work out.
So before putting yourself in that type of situation, take some time to get used to these feelings and maybe find an outlet for all that emotion. When it comes to confessing feelings, timing is everything. You want to hit on a time when your crush is in a good mood, but not so good that they’re in an overly confident or giddy state of mind.
Then again, you also don’t want to talk when they’re feeling down and maybe thinking about past relationship trauma if they had any. Take all things into consideration—your relationship and his or her potential relationship—and wait for a moment when emotions are relatively even (perhaps post-workout or after an awkward social gathering).
Recommended reading: Can you be friends with someone you love?
That way he or she won’t immediately brush off your confession as drunk talk or fake emotion. Also realize that verbalizing these kinds of feelings isn’t something that happens overnight.
You’ll have plenty of time to rehearse what you want to say and practice exactly how you might say it.
Remember, most people are receptive to honest communication, especially if its about feelings! So take a deep breath, prepare yourself mentally and physically for what’s going to come next (emotionally), remain calm throughout the discussion — don’t overreact — and try not to get too nervous.
If what’s going on between you two is real and unique then saying I love you shouldn’t be scary; it should feel exciting! It may seem difficult at first to say those three little words out loud — but once they’re out there. there’s no taking them back. Here are some tips on how to tell someone you have feelings for them:
10 Tips to tell someone you love them and have deep feelings for them.
1. Before you take action, think through all of your feelings:
Don’t just dive right in. Take some time to collect your thoughts and make sure that they’re real feelings that will last beyond those initial butterflies or nervous jitters — which is important if you want to confess your feelings but also if they don’t feel quite right.
Once you know what’s happening between you two is more than just a phase, then it might be time for the next step.
2. Don’t overthink it:
Taking time to think how to tell someone you have feelings for them is fine, but there are times when love strikes quickly and deeply in a very short amount of time.
So if your relationship has been going on for a while and you have strong feelings for each other, then there may not be any reason to hesitate.
If you feel strongly about him or her, then why let another second go by before confessing those three little words.
A confession will likely make both of you feel vulnerable and uncomfortable at first — which is natural — but don’t let that get in your way or give in to self-doubt. Wait for a moment when emotions are relatively even and in balance — maybe after a workout or right before bed.
Once you feel that moment is right, wait until you’re both alone and unrushed; sometimes public places can make things awkward since there might be other people around who could eavesdrop on your conversation or even interrupt it completely. But privacy isn’t always needed — sometimes it might just make things worse.
3. Put your heart out there and take a risk:
Whether it’s saying those three little words or just confessing that you’re into him or her, if it were easy, we would all just do it (and probably a lot more often!).
But that’s not always as easy as we want — which is why many of us chicken out when we want to make our feelings known. We know what might happen once we finally open up — there could be an awkward reaction or even complete silence; sometimes, even worse than either of those are hurtful words being thrown back at us.
Nonetheless, don’t let these risks stop you from telling somebody how you feel. There will likely be days where you question whether or not your confession was worth it.
And others where you will look back fondly on the moment — appreciating that despite a few negative reactions, honesty made things better between both of you in time.
It won’t change overnight but with each honest conversation and new day comes another chance for love to grow stronger than ever before.
4. When in doubt, take a step back:
On the contrary to my previous point, relationships, friendships and connections take time and a lot of effort to get right — which is why it’s so important not to rush anything or try anything crazy that could jeopardize your chances altogether.
If you really find yourself feeling uncertain about how something will turn out or maybe even unsure if it is real or not, stepping back for a little while might just give both of you space and time to figure things out.
But also don’t be afraid to try again later on when your feelings are stronger than ever! Honesty isn’t always easy, but knowing it was enough for both of you in time (whether now or later) will only make it easier for both of you moving forward.
5. Use your intuition and don’t forget what it’s there for:
You know your friend or crush better than anybody else and that is why your gut will probably react when you feel something isn’t right or where either of you are heading isn’t going to end well in time.
So if a few conversations later, something still doesn’t feel right — listen to those feelings! Your heart knows more than anything else, so give it a chance instead of running away with whatever comes naturally.
If what happens next makes both of you happy, then it was worth everything along the way. But if not, just remember that honesty isn’t always easy but it does make things better in time.
There’s no use beating yourself up about who you are or what you feel; just remember that even rejection has its benefits if it helps both of you move forward (even if only by forcing some distance between both of you).
That alone could help clear your head, re-energize your dreams and even help realize who really deserves another shot later down the road.
No matter how far apart life may take each of you from each other, knowing one day he or she will find somebody they connect with on an entirely different level will allow nothing less than moving forward together as much stronger people once again.
6. Don’t force your feelings and don’t sound needy and desperate:
It takes a while for both of you to get acquainted with each other’s wants, needs and expectations. It is only natural. But even if something doesn’t work out in time, there is no need rushing into things or beating yourself up over how long it’s taking.
Take your time getting used to each other’s habits, interests and hang-ups — plus everything else that makes up a personality. Enjoy new discoveries as they come up; don’t force what isn’t meant to be at any cost.
Let things happen between you both naturally instead of trying to control situations by forcing conversations that could otherwise be delayed or forgotten entirely.
And remember: You know yourself better than anybody else ever will; give yourself enough time and space (and patience) to learn exactly who he or she really is without judging anything about him/her too quickly in fear of pushing somebody away prematurely.
The best connections are made when two people allow their true feelings from their hearts to make things happen in time instead of trying their hardest to control a situation before either one gets hurt later down the road.
Everything happens for a reason — including people leaving and moving on without asking too many questions about why it all happened.
Also read: How to get someone to like you over text?
7. Keep an open mind and stay positive:
If your confession doesn’t get quite a reaction or any reaction at all, that doesn’t mean it was in vain or that you should expect things will never change between both of you.
Sometimes, people don’t react as we want or expect — but they might just need a little more time to process everything and some alone time first.
Other times, they might just need some time without being pressured by your feelings before deciding how they really feel about it (and themselves) in return.
So try not to give up on your dreams for a romantic connection and spend more time thinking about who your partner is now instead of dwelling on how he or she didn’t immediately love you back with equal intensity from day one.
Love takes time and isn’t always immediate; letting go of those expectations will make it easier to enjoy moments as they come instead of forcing something that doesn’t happen overnight.
And if you do find yourself wondering whether or not your emotions are real—or maybe realize you have been crushing on him or her for much longer than either of you realized—just talk to somebody else and remember love comes when it’s ready.
Either way, talking through what happened between both of you will help each of you move forward… even if only just by realizing that there wasn’t anything wrong with what happened between both of you and there is no reason why whatever happens next has to change anything.
8. Talk about each other’s similarities and unique talents:
Everyone is good at something; make sure to let each other know what those things are when both of you get acquainted and interested in one another.
Doing so helps establish comfort and trust faster than asking tell me about yourself or going through a long list of shallow questions; that only surface information that wouldn’t even help explain why your partner is who he or she is — it’s easier for people to communicate well with those they feel safe around.
So bringing more familiarity into your connection will give each other time to get used to talking about meaningful things without feeling insecure about putting yourself out there…or scared that your partner might judge, critique or reject you later on down the road after too much time has passed.
9. Show them you are a potential partner for them:
When you want to tell someone you have feelings for them, it’s also important to give clear indication that they already make you happy.
Even if things aren’t ready yet — whether they’re not ready to hear your confession or ready to express their own feelings in return — people need reassurance that both of you stand a good chance at achieving something worthwhile together.
So don’t just explain how much they mean to you; show them. Be extra attentive, thoughtful and affectionate around them so they start feeling comfortable acting on those same impulses around you too.
Just remember that showing how much one person means to us isn’t just important while getting close with somebody else; it’s often more critical as time goes on.
10. Wait for their response and take action accordingly:
It may be hard, but if a few months go by and it still isn’t working out in time, cut your losses while they are still small and remember everything he or she taught you about yourself along the way — including what not to do next time.
Move on from all of it without regret, shame or guilt; that’s just not worth beating yourself up over now or later down the road. You were brave enough to ask somebody out in public or strong enough when it came time for him/her to say no.
And even if he/she really wanted nothing more than friendship at first chances are that wasn’t true from either one of your perspectives.
So take their honesty as their best effort to let you both save face with yourselves and each other. If something is possible, it will happen eventually; your patience won’t hurt anything while waiting for whatever comes next.
It’s also important not to get discouraged every time we find ourselves saying no once too often as well — there is rarely only one person who doesn’t feel so good around us which means there’s plenty of other opportunities out there that haven’t run their course yet.
We can move forward most quickly after getting our hopes dashed, because we know better already how much stress was created trying desperately to make things work with people who didn’t want us back.