How to tell someone you love them over text? (11 Tips)

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By: Naveen B

One of the best feelings in the world is when you are finally brave enough to tell someone that you love them.

Of course, that person might be across the room or across the ocean, but technology has made it possible to share your love with anyone, anywhere at any time.

How can you tell someone you love them over text without sounding too desperate?

How do you make your romantic feelings known, or even ask someone out, over text when phone calls are so impersonal and are the complete opposite of face-to-face communication?

Texting, however, isn’t exactly conducive to romance or discussion.

Recommended reading: How to tell if someone doesn’t like you?

While there are many different ways to say I love you in text, some ways are clearly better than others because they require more planning and consideration on your part.

With these tips on how to tell someone you love them over text, you can put together the perfect message!

Luckily, there are ways to get around this dilemma and still tell that special someone how you feel without putting yourself at risk of rejection.

Sure, there’s more room for miscommunication here than in person, but there are ways to work around this and avoid saying anything you might regret later on.

Here are some tips on how to tell someone you love them over text.

How to tell someone you love them over text?

How to tell someone you love them over text for the first time How to tell someone you love them over text? (11 Tips)

How to tell someone you love them over text? In some situations, there is no difference between saying I love you over text or saying it in person.

All that matters is that your significant other understands how much they mean to you and are truly loved.

A simple I love you too can say it all. However, saying those three magical words in a text can be more difficult than actually saying them in person.

It could go wrong at any moment; but if you’re hoping to show someone that they really mean a lot to you, then telling them using a simple text message is perfect.

They’ll never know what hit them until it’s too late. Pay attention and use phrases like, “I would rather tell you these things face-to-face or when we get back together.” Which insinuates an urgency for something in your relationship.

It’s easier said than done though, but try to put yourself out there as hard as possible when trying something romantic like this via text message.

Recommended reading: How to tell someone you have feelings for them? (10 Tips)

Keep it short and sweet with occasional messages about touching base with one another. Any last little loving compliments will do wonders for keeping him/her happy with hearing from you. 

If you’re feeling creative, add in a cute emoticon here and there to give off a more romantic tone. Make sure to keep up conversation back-and-forth because it shows interest on your end.

Also, remember to let them talk every once in a while so you don’t seem needy.

You want to seem interested and care enough about their life through only text messaging after all. Here are some more tips on how to tell someone you love them over text for the first time

11 Tips on how to tell someone you love them over text for the first time.

ways to tell someone you love them over How to tell someone you love them over text? (11 Tips)

1. Timing is everything:

To ensure your message comes across exactly as intended, make sure both parties have time. If there’s one thing we all know about texting, it’s that things get lost in translation sometimes. 

Longer sentences and more involved conversations take up more space than a few choice words and a smiley face emoticon and yet many of us insist on sending our most important messages while checking email, doing homework, or running late for work/class.

So if you’re going to profess eternal affection through text, make sure both parties have enough time to talk and communicate with each other freely.

Wait until later in the day so he or she has enough sleep before having an emotional conversation. After a good night’s rest – when people feel better and look better – it becomes easier to open up to someone else emotionally because you’ll feel good physically as well.

Also read: How to tell someone they hurt your feelings? (7 Tips with examples)

2. Use understandable words instead of abbreviations:

Use vocabulary similar to what would be used when saying I love you. Don’t stuff twenty words into one sentence when two will do! Use terminology such as my love, my heart, my soul mate, etc.

These terms carry more weight behind them when said verbally rather than referring to a lover as a babe.

The key here is to avoid using vague terms like Hun (the endearment implies youth) or bun.

Stick with masculine phrases such as honey (used often by men), babe (more common among young couples), man or stud; women may prefer baby or my love.

Regardless of gender preference use first names sparingly if at all; something like “You” works best instead of adding baby onto every word that could possibly make its way into a text message.

3. Express your feelings authentically and make them persuasive:

Since texts often lack facial expressions and intonation, which convey intent, voice inflection is also vital to conveying deep emotions through the written word.

Remind him or her why you fell in love It doesn’t matter if I or we came up with the idea first; ultimately it was his enthusiasm that spurred us on.

Say something like I wasn’t looking for anyone until I met you, or write about all the different ways his uniqueness inspires a deeper feeling inside.

Be specific There’s nothing worse than being told something generic that could apply to every guy around or any guy you’ve ever been out with,

State your reason precisely and clearly, referencing something that happened in person or on a date. And don’t assume you know all there is to know about your partner. 

Also read: 21 Psychological tricks to get someone to like you

4. Show them that you are a potential partner:

Instead of telling your partner that you think it would be nice to be married someday, tell them how it feels to share your life with someone.

Focus on feelings Get straight to the point and let them know how deeply he affects you.

Describe yourself as a child without a care in the world, or write about how safe you feel when cuddling up next to their warmth after a hard day at work.

Don’t forget to be sincere Show your love by writing something genuine; don’t fake it ’til you make it.

He or she can see right through disingenuous words meant only to stroke his ego, and there are plenty of other guys who aren’t afraid to say what’s really on their minds.

5. Don’t rush it:

You never know how it’s going to go: Just because you really like someone, don’t assume that it is in your control whether or not they like you back.

Often times we try to force a relationship and it just leads to unwanted drama.

So keep in mind that when approaching someone about wanting love and nothing more you never know how it is going to go down.

Don’t come at it from a place of resentment. Don’t start by saying we can’t be more than friends.

Doing that immediately puts them on defense, and gives them reasons to argue with you. Approach it from a place of compassion for both of you.

Start by explaining how much you value their friendship, and how much you hope they still want yours – because if that isn’t true, now is your chance to say goodbye in a meaningful way.

6. Don’t make any assumptions about why they don’t love you back:

There are many reasons that a person may not be interested in a relationship with you. They might like someone else, or they may have decided that they aren’t looking for anything serious right now.

They might already have another partner or multiple partners that they prioritize over dating, and since that is not something you want either it won’t work out as more than friends.

Another reason could be that as much as they like you in many ways, there is something about your personality or your lifestyle that turns them off completely.

Maybe your friends drive them crazy, or their religious beliefs don’t allow for relationships outside of marriage.

Maybe they are too insecure to handle being seen with an awesome woman/man (like you) in public. Who knows? But always remember that rejection comes from a place of fear.

Never assume that what they say (and how they say it) reflects on you – only on themselves and how they feel about you

Also read: How to get someone to like you back?

7. Make sure your intentions are pure and empathetic:

It’s always important not to lose sight of who you are and what your values are, especially when dealing with a potential relationship.

Once you start trying to compromise yourself because someone else doesn’t find you desirable or good enough for them, then you will become resentful and bitter which will have a negative impact on all future relationships as well.

While it is common that when we love another person we also love their opinions about us, don’t let anyone make you feel insecure about yourself by putting down your standards – if they can’t handle that then they are too immature for serious dating anyways.

8. Focus on what you are looking for:

This is a very important step because it is easy to forget about all of your needs in a relationship and get caught up in what you think another person might have to offer.

For example: maybe they are really attractive or really cool, or maybe they seem stable enough that they won’t walk out on you later on down the road when things become too hard.

Stay away from any form of personal investment in others until you know exactly what YOU need and desire first.

Then once you figure out your needs, if it becomes apparent that those needs are not being met by one person, begin taking an honest look at other people who may better suit your goals and desires.

You will find that eventually, you’ll realize there were many people around who could’ve been compatible but often times we choose to ignore those alternatives so we can justify remaining in unfulfilling relationships with difficult people instead.

Also read: How to get someone to like you over text? (10 Tips)

9. Emphasize your strengths and what you have to offer:

Even if they don’t appear, people are attracted to those who are confident in themselves and their own attributes, because it shows that they won’t need other people’s approval of their worthiness all of the time.

One of your most valuable assets is yourself – so don’t ever think of others as having more value than yourself. Let them see how unique you are and share your gifts with them. Remember that positive reinforcement comes back to our times ten.

When we share ourselves with those we love or respect, we can experience something amazing called unconditional love.

By opening up yourself completely to another person or group of people you will see how amazing it feels when they give everything back unconditionally instead.

It is by going within that we find out how truly powerful our own heart energies can be when cultivated properly.

10. Wait for their response and know when to let go:

While most of us love being in relationships or having people around with who we can share our lives, some relationships are not healthy, nor do they move you forward on your path.

It is important to remain self-aware at all times so that we don’t get lost in a relationship that doesn’t have us growing and expanding as human beings.

If it becomes apparent that your feelings are not being reciprocated then it’s time to back off – no matter how hard it may seem.

The other person may take a while to come around but stay focused on what you need, because only by meeting your needs will anyone else be able to offer true care and commitment

11. Celebrate yourself regardless of the consequences:

Remember that sometimes when we really want something and desire it deeply, our mind tricks us into believing that if we don’t get what we crave right away then there is something inherently wrong with us personally. 

Stop beating yourself up over wanting to find an amazing partner sooner rather than later, instead remind yourself why getting into a partnership would benefit your life.

Soon enough, you’ll find someone amazing if you allow yourself room to grow and expand as a person.

Recommended reading:

How to make someone fall in love with you? (According to science and psychology)

How to get someone to like you? (complete guide)

Can you be friends with someone you love?

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Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry. His expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few. To be updated with his latest work, connect with him by following his social media accounts.

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