What does it mean when you can’t stop thinking about someone you barely know?

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By: Naveen B

What does it mean when you can’t stop thinking about someone you barely know?

We can have an endless debate on this scenario as it depends on an individual personality, and how he or she responds to a particular event.

However, if we consider a more generalized perspective of it and relate it to human behavior, according to psychology, we can say that – when you can’t stop thinking about someone you barely know – it means you are dealing with one of the 4 relationship attachment styles called the Anxious attachment style. Also referred to as a preoccupied attachment. 

Also read: What does it mean when you can’t stop thinking about someone? (7 Psychological terms and tips to stop obsessive thinking)

Anxious attachment literally means you have high signs of anxiety about your feelings for the strange person you are connected to. You are craving closeness and seeking strong intimacy from the person you are attached to.

Once you feel a strong connection and attachment, you can’t stop thinking about that person. 

As you barely know that person, for instance, you may think, “I want to be very close with this person emotionally. I want to dedicate my entire life to him/her.”

Recommended read: How to stop being emotionally attached to someone?

But at the same time, you may worry that 

  • What if he/she is reluctant about their behavior towards me?
  • What if he doesn’t have the same connection as me?
  • What if he doesn’t love or value me?
  • What if he abandons me?

There are many questions that consume you from within.

There are possibilities that when you constantly thinking about someone meaning is that you felt a strong bond with that person and even developed your emotions and attached to a much deeper level without the involvement of the opposite person. 

If there is no reciprocity and mutual connection between you and the person you are attached to, that may lead to unhealthy attachment and cause you terrible mental health problems. 

In that sense, you have to be very careful about your approach to any person before making yourself completely vulnerable.

If you ignore those warning signs and yet proceed, then you have to face serious consequences like heartbreak, rejection, or any other inevitable tragic situation.

But in another way around let’s assume a much more positive scenario.

Then, in this case, let me offer my personal point of view -.

As per my observation, 

What does it mean when you can’t stop thinking about someone you barely know?

What does it mean when you cant stop thinking about someone What does it mean when you can't stop thinking about someone you barely know?

Almost all of our lives, though we are surrounded by different types of people; barely we allow our true selves to any one of them.

However, if we are very fortunate enough, rarely do some of us come across a person or two to whom we have an instant connection.

There is a gut feeling in us that says “Yes, this is the kind of person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I want to open up my everything and be ready to give anything to him or her.”

Also read: Why can’t I stop thinking about someone? (According to psychology)

That’s because there is a special energy in them. There is some kind of vibration that we can’t really express about them. But it feels good when we are in their presence. It makes us feel alive and whole at the same time. 

Even though we just met them. We feel understood, we feel heard. Involuntarily we begin to glow and become joyful by the warmth they execute. And we can’t stop thinking even though we barely know them.

They feel like home to us nonetheless, we know nothing about them.

If you have the same kind of spontaneous thoughts (judgments) and feelings about a particular person, perhaps you are an intuitive or a lonely (genuine) person who has been after an authentic soul search for a long time, and suddenly when you meet that person you feel like you found your person.

Generally, people who have high self-awareness and a strong intuition have the power to give accurate judgments and real insights into the human psyche regardless of the intensity of relationships or the time they spend with others.

Also read: If you can’t stop thinking about someone are they thinking about you?

Some of us during our early mature days begin to realize that we are more self-aware than the rest of the people, which creates high expectations of ourselves and the people around us.

But as we meet more people, our experiences force us to withdraw from those unrealistic thoughts and make ourselves grounded. As we get hit by the actuality of life.

We can’t have complete control over many aspects of our lives. It’s part of existence and we are predestined to experience those thoughts, emotions, behaviors; and endless things we are ignorant about.

In one way that is better, because it opens us to more fresh perspectives. We are constantly learning, observing, evolving, and get adapted to nature in order to survive.

Also read: Psychological facts about thinking of someone (Research-based)

 We are preparing for life with well-informed actions, maturity, and understanding. 

So, what does it mean when you can’t stop thinking about someone you barely know?

what does it mean when you cant stop thinking about someone What does it mean when you can't stop thinking about someone you barely know?

Well! While in this vast cosmos everything is connected to everything. And everyone is connected to everyone else. But some souls’ connection is powerful and superior to others. 

Also read: When you feel a connection with someone do they feel it too?

Though we are all made up of the same matter and similar energy, instinctively we select people we already decided on in our subconscious mind.

When this rare situation happens, you can’t help but think.

You constantly think about the person you are connected to because –

  • You don’t want to lose this rare opportunity to get to know that special soul and create a deeper connection. But you do not know how to take the first step.
  • You want to take any risk to get that person. But have a second thought (self-doubt) about your decisions.
  • You don’t want to miss that person to someone else although he/she is not yours. But you miss him/her every single moment.
  • You are happy and anxious at the same time about plausible outcomes.

Additionally, there is a little ‘fear’ that drives us to think, overthink and constantly think about something that we have absolutely no idea about.

Similarly, we can reason all the possible answers endlessly forever about why we love only a certain person or are connected to certain people but why not to others?

However, to one’s surprise, the possibility of the spiritual connection that forms between two souls has no single right answer. Perhaps, on that matter, we never ever really know the truth.

P.S: “Does it truly matter to know the truth?”

Let me know your thoughts and emotions in the comments.

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Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry. His expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few. To be updated with his latest work, connect with him by following his social media accounts.

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