What is it called when you care too much about what others think?(10 tips on how to not care what people think)

By: Naveen B

Are you obsessed with what others think of you?

What is it called when you care too much about what others think?

If caring too much about what people think of you makes you worry then there are possible reasons for that.

For instance, it is either due to your higher self-consciousness or your highly sensitive nature, low self-esteem, insecurities, self-doubt, and lack of self-confidence.

These are also can be associated with a range of mild to serious psychological problems such as anxiety, fear, or depression.

Also read: Why can’t I stop thinking about someone? (According to psychology)

Mostly it is because the social structure in which we are living shaped our inner psychology. 

Fear of people’s opinions is part of the human condition since we’re operating with an ancient brain. 

Human nature has been designed to desire to be liked and well-respected. At the same time to care, love and share. So caring and seeking validation is the natural process of our irrational lives.

However, how much you care about what others think is up to one’s own mindset and the consequences can be experienced accordingly.

That said, let’s briefly go through some of the psychological concepts related to human nature and tips to solve how to stop caring about what people think.

Related article: A complete step-by-step guide on overcoming different types of insecurities (Issues and solutions)

What is it called when you care too much about what others think?

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As per the question, the words may vary based on the nature of your caring about people:

So, What is it called when you care too much about what others think?

” ‘Homo emphaticus’ a perfect word for caring too much about what others think, If at all the nature of your caring towards people is just because of you have a great sense of empathy towards others.”

The term “Homo Emphaticus” was used by a cultural thinker and philosopher Roman Krznaric, to describe individuals with extreme emotional intelligence and empathy towards people.

However, “If the fear of people’s opinions leads you to care too much about what others think of you, then “Allodoxaphobia” is the word.”

Where “Allodoxaphobia” literally means fear of people’s opinions.

Also read: If you can’t stop thinking about someone are they thinking about you?

Is there another word for caring too much about others?

Yes, you can call “Altruistic” if someone cares too much about others and always put their needs first before him/her.

Here is the –

Definition of Altruism: “Altruism” is the selfless concern for the well-being of others. You do things purely because you are naturally kind and feel a desire to help, and not because you are obligated to do so due to duty, loyalty, or religious reasons. A concern for the welfare of others motivates an individual to act in this way.

Also, there is another word in psychology, caring too much can be described as “compassion fatigue.” Compassion fatigue is a term that illustrates the physical, emotional, and psychological impact of helping others — often through experiences of stress or trauma.

Compassion fatigue is different than burnout. When a person experiences burnout, he or she loses the ability to empathize or give care to others.

Nonetheless, compassion fatigue happens when you care too much about others and help them in their stressful situations, and in the process, you lose interest to help because of your over-giving nature. But burnout occurs from work stress and being overworked.

Related article: Psychological facts about thinking of someone (Research-based)

11 psychological Signs you care, think and feel too much about what others think

Here are the mind-blowing facts and signs that you care too much about what others think:

  1. Your judgment of yourself is influenced by others.
  2. You constantly try to guess what people are thinking and attempt to read their minds. And you keep yourself always busy thinking and living in your own mindful or mindless world.
  3. You change your emotional states in response to the comments you receive.
  4. You strive to please everyone.
  5. Everyone’s needs are more important to you than your own.
  6. No matter how small a decision is, you have difficulty making it.
  7. You become a social chameleon and try to fit into their personality.
  8. You can’t refuse anything and always find it difficult to say no.
  9. Whenever something goes wrong, no matter what fault it is, you take responsibility and blame and suffer a lot unnecessarily.
  10. You think too much about what you think, what you say, and what you do. Because you constantly care and think too much – about how your interactions affect people’s lives.
  11. You have difficulty asking for help and that makes you feel so alone, alienated, and feel misunderstood by your friends, family, and others.

Also read: An essential guide on How to be calm, overcome anxiety, and relax your mind.

Why do I care what others think about me?

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It’s not just you or me who care about what others think. As per a survey by Boston college – about 62% of the students said that their self-worth is strongly tied to what others think.

Another scientific study found that babies’ emotions are often influenced by those around them. Scientists argue that caring about what others think in fact is an inborn trait.

It’s natural as per our moods, experiences, and environments – from time to time we all go through certain psychological and social drama. 

At times, we question our own existence. But when it comes to living a peaceful and harmonious life – the questions shift to people and focus on how their lives impact us.

So, we ask –

“Why do I care what others think about me?” 

“Why am I so concerned about what others think of me and how can I try to stop caring so much about others’ opinions?”

“How to not care what people think?”

“How to stop worrying about what others are doing?”

“Is it good to think about what others are thinking about me?”

“Why you should care and why you shouldn’t care about what others are thinking?”

And the list goes on mainly when we think we did something wrong. There may be many causes for such uncertain situations.

Also read: 10 Psychological reasons behind why you can’t stop thinking about someone.

However,

Here are the 5 best possible reasons why you care about what others think: 

  • You want to feel good about yourself.
  • You want to fit in and develop good relations with people.
  • You want to understand people’s thoughts so that you can validate your position in their lives, in the workplace, or in society.
  • Simply, you overthink and overanalyze everything because of your personality traits, especially if you are an introvert.
  • Because your low levels of energy and confidence, including past traumatic experiences, influence you to care too much about what others think of you.

Remember, all these reasons are surprisingly normal. These are the starting point and a good way to improve self-growth. 

Somewhere we all need to make ourselves uncomfortable and mess with our minds just to learn and evolve.

So, as long as they do not disturb the status of your core identity. We can be good to go.

Also read: What does it mean when you can’t stop thinking about someone? (7 Psychological terms and tips to stop obsessive thinking)

How to not care what people think?

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Self-awareness is the only solution to not caring about what people think of you. When you know yourself in and out, you hardly seek external validation.

Being self-aware helps you to build self-confidence and create a unique and personal philosophy. 

Focus on understanding yourself completely. Self-awareness and self-confidence are two important traits in a person that plays a crucial role in how you interpret the life around you. 

When you are confident, that makes you feel good. You never feel like you are being judged.

You never want to be a part of the crowd. Intuitively, you just know about things and you feel things as they are, rather than the way you think they are.

 You just do what you think you will do, regardless of what people think. 

Additionally, if you develop good communication skills and find a medium to express your perspectives with an open mindset, then you are on your way to greatness.

Also read: What does it mean when you can’t stop thinking about someone you barely know?

Why you shouldn’t care what others think?

The simple answer is “If your goal is to live a happy and peaceful life, then regardless of what others think – you eventually focus on yourself to improve your standard of living. But not on the unbiased opinions of others.”

However, Of course, we care as we are humans and especially if we are empathetic and compassionate souls.

But, we shouldn’t be too critical of others or our own judgments. We should never demean our own identity regardless of its position in society.

If you do that, it will hinder your self-esteem and affects your psychological, social life, and gradually worsen your future growth.

If you are still not convinced about why you should stop worrying about what others think, here are the research and science-based facts on how to not care what people think of you.

Also read: Why can’t I stop thinking about someone? (According to psychology)

A study by professor Alice moon and his team at the Wharton University of Pennsylvania found that

“When people do any work or perform acts in front of others, they tend to believe they are being judged harshly on their performance.

However, in reality, they put much more pressure on themselves than the observers who watch them. Also, they expect to be unfairly judged on the whole based on a single part.”

After research and a series of experiments they also discovered that, When people are so preoccupied with the judgment of others, they tend to believe that the judgment is far worse than it is.

Therefore, regardless of how much you care about what people think, you are nowhere near their perception of you.

And the fact is you are self-obsessed with your own thoughts and self-critical towards yourself to validate your self-identity through people’s eyes.

A better approach is to take feedback only to be informed and improve yourself based on the multiple viewpoints rather than self-created prepositions.

So, it’s wise to stop worrying about others’ think and start understanding yourself better by being non-judgmental.

Also read: How to not get attached to people? (Complete Guide)

Note: A good balance of empathy and analytical assertiveness is the key to leading any kind of lifestyle.

7 Tips to stop caring and worrying about what others think

  1. Know who you are, and what your convictions and priorities are to create a personal philosophy about yourself.
  2. Don’t take things personally. Instead, focus on receiving constructive feedback.
  3. Improve both a healthy rational mindset and an empathetic heart for a well-balanced life.
  4. Acknowledge that seeking external validation is an unhealthy habit.
  5. Don’t be critical of yourself, just relax and enjoy the process.
  6. Be intuitive and responsive to all the things that happen around you. That helps you to become observational and create distinctive perspectives.
  7.  Become non-judgmental either toward yourself or towards others.

Final Thoughts:

One day suddenly everything makes sense to you. You realize what matters and what doesn’t. You learn to care less about what other people think of you. And you begin to pay more attention to your own thoughts about yourself.

You realize how far you’ve come and remember the times when everything was in such a mess that it seemed to be impossible to fix.

And here comes a day that makes you smile. You smile because you are truly proud of yourself and the person you have become.

Until then keep embracing the journey regardless of endless challenges.

Good luck to you.

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Author
Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry. His expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few. To be updated with his latest work, connect with him by following his social media accounts.

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