Working with someone you have feelings for can be difficult, especially if you’re the only one who feels that way. Maybe they don’t feel the same way about you, or maybe they just don’t want to cross that line into something more personal while at work.
Whatever the reason, this can lead to an uncomfortable situation that could get in the way of your productivity and your happiness at work—not to mention your emotional well-being.
What do you do when you develop feelings for someone you work with? and how to get over someone you see everyday at work? It’s not like you can avoid him/her, right?
You can’t just ask to be transferred to another department or put on some other project, so what are your options?
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It’s always awkward when someone you work with becomes your romantic interest and vice versa, especially if you weren’t expecting it to happen and the timing isn’t right.
If you can separate your work relationship from your personal one, however, there are ways to get over that coworker crush without destroying your livelihood in the process.
Here are some simple and practical ways that can help you on how to get over someone you see everyday at work.
How to get over someone you see everyday at work?
How to get over someone you see everyday at work? Your day-to-day routine will be much easier if you can learn how to deal with your feelings and start moving on. Here are some tips on how to move on from a coworker crush:
Get used to seeing him or her: You can’t run away from your feelings and getting rid of them is not as easy as ignoring that guy or girl at work.
One way of dealing with those pesky emotions is by simply keeping yourself in front of those emotions; try practicing positive thinking, such as telling yourself he’s only a guy or she’s just like any other co-worker.
It may sound cliché, but positive thinking goes a long way in helping us deal with what makes us human. Don’t spend your days thinking about them or imagining what could have been—instead, focus on yourself and take up new hobbies while you try to meet new people.
Recommended reading: How to get over someone love deeply? (Step-by-step guide)
11 ways to get over someone you see everyday at work.
1. Communicate well.
The absolute worst thing you can do is avoid talking about your feelings—but that doesn’t mean every conversation needs to be a tearful one.
It’s important for both parties involved in a romantic relationship at work to keep an open line of communication so they know where each other stands at all times.
Communicate any concerns or issues as soon as possible so there aren’t any misunderstandings down the road. Just because you two have been drawn together by your feelings, that doesn’t mean it will last forever—and if things fall apart.
It’s better to have had plenty of time together rather than being blindsided by an argument out of nowhere later on down the road.
2. Force Yourself To Maintain Professionalism
Realize that it is not going to work and you have nothing to lose. Keep your relationship professional
If you really love your co-worker, and want to move on from him/her, then first try not seeing him/her every day.
Limit your email and text communication as well; if neither of you can see each other physically, then there’s less chance for things to spiral out of control. You’ll thank yourself later!
3. Set boundaries
Keep Healthy Boundaries in Mind. Try not to be too friendly and don’t seek their help. Resist any urges to talk about them.
You’ll inevitably have to communicate now and then, but it’s important not to let those moments turn into conversations about non-work related things.
Keep in mind that there are still boundaries—if a coworker initiates a conversation about personal matters, give a one-sentence answer and change topics.
You may feel tempted to tell your coworker how much he or she means to you in that moment, but if you take a step back and look at things from an objective point of view, it should be clear that doing so will make everything more complicated in the long run.
Recommended reading: How to get over someone who broke your heart?
4. Change your shift or working schedule
This is particularly tough when it comes to co-workers because of one very important thing: proximity. If you can see or hear your ex every day at work, that might be too much.
The best thing you can do for yourself is avoid communicating by changing up your routine so that you only encounter them once in a while at social events and company meetings (if even).
Realize that even if you still have feelings for them, it doesn’t mean you won’t find love again at another job in another city—especially since feeling that way is common when breaking up with someone anyway.
It’s possible that moving away will help ease some of those lingering emotions, which is why it may be best for both of you in terms of finding closure and moving on in separate directions without any interference from each other.
5. Take a new job or change the location
If it’s truly unbearable and can’t be worked out, then maybe it’s time to move on from your job.
Start looking for another position that offers a better work-life balance or something that actually sounds like a good fit for you instead of just having something to do.
As hard as it may be to leave coworkers behind, even if they’re great, that kind of situation is toxic long-term and won’t help either of you in any way.
If your feelings are still holding you back or they’ve started making your life miserable at work, it’s time to leave your job without any second thought.
6. Remember how it ended
One of your biggest regrets will be letting those feelings go on as long as they did, so never forget what led up to that point and why you’re better off without them.
Even if they ended up having a change of heart, it won’t take away from how immature and ignorant their behavior was when everything initially happened.
If you’ve already left your job or otherwise moved on, remember that it’s for a good reason and don’t ever let anyone make you feel guilty about it either; once again, no matter what went down between you two, there’s no excuse for making someone feel like crap for something they didn’t do wrong.
7. Consider therapy
If your feelings are still strong months or years after it’s ended, try meeting with a therapist in order to talk through everything and move on.
No matter how much time has passed, if your heart still breaks when you think about them, they will always have some sort of control over you—which is never healthy in any situation.
There’s nothing wrong with seeking professional help in order to process everything that’s happened and figure out how to move forward.
8. Listen to your intuition and decide what’s best for you
One of your biggest goals as a human being is getting along with others and feeling accepted, so if you’re dating at work and things don’t seem to be going well, it can be tempting to quit and find a new job.
But even if moving on would be best for everyone involved, keep in mind that your boss and coworkers may think less of you because of it—and that can make applying for jobs or interviewing much more difficult than it needs to be.
Before quitting your job without another one lined up, try listening—really listening to your gut feeling before making such a big decision.
9. Focus on your career goals
If you two don’t end up together, that doesn’t mean it was a bad decision—sometimes love just isn’t meant to be.
Focus on your goal. When feelings become too strong for your liking, it can be easy to lose sight of what matters most.
Remind yourself that getting involved with a co-worker is never a good idea—and keep those goals in mind as much as possible.
The next step will help you avoid temptation and stick to those goals. It may not always be easy, but try to find ways to stay focused without being alone around them all day long. Finally, limit contact when necessary.
This may seem obvious but many people have trouble when they aren’t sure where things stand between them.
10. Don’t be afraid to love again
Remember that no matter how it ended, you’re still a worthwhile person and deserve happiness in your life. Just because you’ve been hurt doesn’t mean all future relationships will end up like that.
We learn from our mistakes and can make wiser decisions in terms of who we date and eventually fall in love with. It may take some time, but before long it’ll be like they never even mattered—except as something that helped you realize what kind of person and partner is truly right for you.
You don’t have to stay at your job if your heart isn’t into it anymore or if things just aren’t working out between you and a certain co-worker.
11. Move on
Even if your feelings aren’t reciprocated, that doesn’t mean there isn’t anyone out there who loves and appreciates everything about you. Don’t waste time thinking about them; instead, think of yourself and what makes you happy.
Look for new hobbies and activities outside of work, even if it’s as simple as going out with friends or joining a meetup group for people interested in similar things as you.
If after several months or years it still bothers you, seek professional help—but don’t do so just because they’re around at work every day.
Getting over a break-up is never easy. It doesn’t matter if it was a short-term fling or a serious, long-term relationship – your life is going to be different without that person in it. You might even feel like a totally different person.
If your ex is a coworker, there are special complications. They’re all around you every day – talking with them, sitting near them, crossing paths with them constantly!
Their constant presence can make things extremely uncomfortable and set back your progress on healing from heartbreak.
Make sure to put yourself first and remember that no one can take away your self-worth – not even an ex coworker! It may take some time but they will eventually fade into the background.
Distance yourself from them and avoid their presence. Either shift your working time or replace your job with a better one. If you really want to get over them and avoid all the emotional drama. The best way is to change the job itself or move to a different location.
However, just be aware, wherever you go keep your mind and heart in their place, if you don’t want to develop feelings or relationships with co-workers.
Related resources: How to get over someone you never dated?
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