Humans are social creatures. We’re constantly on a quest for relationships, whether it’s with our friends, coworkers, our families or even total strangers.
With so much time devoted to making connections, it’s important that we learn how to be good companions—and not only because it will help us expand our social circles.
A new study from researchers at Harvard University found that loneliness could actually lead to premature death.
This is particularly true if you’re a man—men with little social support were twice as likely as their more connected counterparts to die early, regardless of age and health status.
The social benefits of forging bonds go both ways, too: The study also found that having friends improves longevity.
Connecting with others in some way makes life easier by giving us resources when we need them most—be it emotional support or just someone to talk through your worries with.
Now, you’ve met someone you really like and you are wondering how to get him or her to like you in return? Or maybe you’re trying to figure out why someone doesn’t seem interested in dating you when all signs point to the fact that he or she should be?
Also read: How to tell someone who doesn’t like you?
In either case, there are some things that you can do to make your chances of attracting this person much better.
Here is a complete guide on how to get someone to like you back and make them fall in love with you, so that the two of you can get together, have fun and grow closer as a couple over time.
- How to get someone to like you?
- How to get someone to like you as a friend?
- How to get someone to like you romantically?
- How to get someone to like you over text?
- 15 Ways to get someone to like you back and make people fall in love with you.
- 1. Smile at people:
- 2. Be confident:
- 3. Be friendly and try to be social:
- 4. Avoid negative people:
- 5. Don't be afraid of rejection:
- 6. Be humble:
- 7. Stop being so serious:
- 8. Be a good listener and supporter:
- 9. Love yourself first:
- 10. Make an effort:
- 11. Seek advice and help when it's necessary:
- 12. Give compliments and make appropriate jokes:
- 13. Learn body language:
- 14. Treat them as you would want to be treated:
- 15. Share what you are passionate about and be consistent:
How to get someone to like you?
First, let’s talk about why you want someone to like you. There are so many reasons it’s almost impossible to give a simple answer. Let’s start with your motivation for wanting them to like you.
The reasons may be varied: You’re attracted to them and want more time with them; they seem interesting and fun.
They are connected in ways that might open doors for other opportunities in your life; they have something that would be useful or valuable in your life.
Any number of possible scenarios can prompt a desire for someone else’s attention, including attraction/attraction potential.
But regardless of what has prompted you, as human beings we all know how quickly feelings can change–especially if things don’t work out as planned.
Your strategy for getting someone to like you should also include some way of ensuring your own safety–protecting yourself from feeling too hurt if things don’t go well.
Another aspect is timing. If there is somebody who truly sparks your interest (and theirs), you will both have had experiences before where you knew from past history that it wasn’t going anywhere.
Recommended reading: How to act around someone who doesn’t like you?
But still enjoyed each other’s company anyway, or were friends first and then found themselves falling into romance later on once they got to know each other better than when they originally met.
Start with common ground, similar goals, and build up a rapport over time. The key here is over time.
Making a connection on a deep level might take weeks or months but, trust us: it’ll be worth it.
Take your time before you ask for anything from them (for example, sending an informational email first).
Be honest with yourself about why you want people to like you? Be clear with your intentions first and then keep the personal interactions are as natural as possible.
Connecting personally should never feel forced or fake. You shouldn’t have to force relationships – even though it’s hard for some people – if you force them, they often don’t last long in terms of being mutually beneficial relationships.
For example, at one point most people liked their friends a lot more than anyone else! Maybe not romantically but there was affection between friends which became mixed up because hormones were running high.
That lovey-dovey-ness developed out of friendship. So no matter how unrequited something seems at first, often friendships can turn into relationships with some work by both parties involved.
Sometimes those changes in feelings don’t happen until long after adolescence is over and real life sets in–so take it slow in case something magical happens even if it doesn’t seem possible now.
You never know what can happen. Think about all of these things as you decide what approach feels best for you to take. There are no guarantees in life, so be realistic about getting hurt too.
But if it feels right go ahead and try whatever you feel will help bring them around to wanting more from your relationship than friendship alone.
Also read: 15 Signs people don’t like you.
In order to make others like you, ask yourself why others aren’t already doing so. Then, learn about them and share what you learn in conversation.
Smile, show genuine concern for their well being; be a good listener; care deeply about everything he/she says – especially if it reflects pain or sadness – that may translate as empathy making him/her feel safe enough to confide their deepest feelings.
As the bond of trust grows stronger within the relationship, you’ll find yourselves sharing more personal information because he/she will trust you enough to do so without worrying how much he/she reveals means rejection.
How to get someone to like you as a friend?
If you want to get someone to like you as a friend, start by simply being friendly, and then ask open-ended questions that show interest in what they’re saying.
Always remember that people love talking about themselves. Once you’ve established a basic friendship, take an interest in their hobbies and interests.
Offer your genuine love, care and support. Maybe they need help getting around town or up with a project they are doing at work.
Don’t push yourself on them; just be there if they have a need for it.
Smile and compliment them once in awhile, but be subtle. They might not pick up on it because you don’t know each other well enough yet. You will likely find out more about them as time goes on.
Show that you have common interests and values. People want friendships based upon similarities rather than differences. Show them respect, trust, caring and concern for their feelings, so they feel safe around you.
Know when to leave things alone and give space, knowing that friends can only handle so much closeness before they begin to distance themselves.
If you can see all of these qualities within yourself, eventually your potential friend will feel comfortable with opening up to you.
We must build quality relationships with friends who appreciate us for who we are first, before worrying too much about making new friends at all.
In order to do that we must learn how to stay true to ourselves while also showing kindness and consideration towards others.
How to make friends is dependent on how self-confident you are, but those who often find difficulty in relating to others due to social anxiety should try building small talk skills.
This allows one to understand how simple topics may lead into deeper conversation topics which helps both parties feel comfortable moving forward from there.
Alternatively anyone looking for some helpful words of wisdom I would suggest asking someone a question (that isn’t offensive) about themselves.
So that person begins answering and thus can slowly gauge whether or not he/she likes them (i.e., seeing if he/she replies back) – thus gaining confidence from there itself until he/she starts initiating conversations himself/herself without feeling shy & nervous.
Everyone has different personality traits, but generally, good-natured people tend to attract good company naturally.
But ultimately it takes courage to approach strangers and breakthrough initial barriers — no easy feat for most individuals out there.
Nonetheless, learning how to overcome awkwardness is a lifelong journey — both internal & external levels (in society). It’s something you must practice on a daily basis until one day it becomes second nature without having ever considered it hard work really.
How to get someone to like you romantically?
If you are struggling with how to get someone to like you romantically, of course, there are no set rules. But all in all if a person does not make you feel good about yourself, then it is unlikely that he or she is going to be attracted to you for any length of time.
You want someone who makes an effort with you, who wants to know more about what’s going on in your life and shares their thoughts with you.
You want a person who looks at his watch every now and again because he is enjoying talking with you – one who can look at your eyes when he talks to you instead of looking at his shoes and obviously picking up on body language as well.
First impressions matter so smile and say hello. Approach them with confidence but not aloofness (i.e., try giving off a genuine relaxed yet alert vibe).
People often ask me what makes a person attractive? My reply is always confidence plus personality equals attraction.
It’s not always how physically attractive someone is; instead, it’s how easy they are to speak with and relate to, which says something quite beautiful about that person.
Be yourself – or even better let your self-confidence shine through. Become comfortable being you.
Love what sets you apart from others – build upon your different characteristics, such as traits that make you unique – appreciate those qualities by becoming aware of these factors – having awareness will enable feelings associated with real love.
Becoming brave enough to tell someone how much they mean to you – reveal some basic truths within ourselves often takes courage; however it also feels amazing & generates freedom.
Be open-minded and outgoing. Listen carefully to everything people have to say — don’t just listen with your ears, listen also with your heart. If someone demonstrates interest in you then show interest back – respond accordingly.
Do your best to stay focused around that special person as opposed to other external distractions.
See opportunities rather than obstacles. Do you find that sometimes when interacting with another person they tend to become defensive when presented with negative feedback?
Is it possible they do not realize they need improvement? How do we provide constructive criticism without damaging anyone’s ego?
Try viewing such actions positively rather than negatively. One day you may surprise yourself with how far you’ve come. This approach will help you take your relationship to a greater extent if you did right. Good luck.
How to get someone to like you over text?
If you don’t know how to get someone to like you online through text, the best way to approach is by being yourself in every way possible and if they don’t like it then they don’t deserve your time.
Be yourself through text. If they don’t appreciate it, find someone who will. It doesn’t matter if a person is tall, short, fat, skinny, dark hair or light hair etc. If they judge you by how you look that is not good enough.
Only say hi to them over text as well because if you’re too open/available people take advantage of that.
Don’t offer anything over the text until after talking on the phone for about 3 times at least. Then begin texting more casually so that it feels less awkward when face-to-face later on.
And always make sure to keep in communication with only one person for now. Maybe meet up with one, but don’t hang out multiple times with different ones in order to go out with all of them at once or date each one simultaneously (although some people may claim that’s okay).
You never know what can happen between now and an actual date where you both are alone together.
Just try having fun. You have nothing else to lose. And do not play games. That is worse than either extreme.
Dating someone while being honest, but keeping a mystery. Be honest & open, yet give a sense of mystique.
Have respect & treat him/her like they are special.
If they resonate with words and respond with the same level of vibes, energy, and enthusiasm then you both are good to go in taking your casual text to deeper and personal conversation to get to know each other better.
Getting people to like you and making someone to fall in love with you is never easy, but it’s even more difficult if that person has given you a negative response before.
However, it’s not impossible! There are many ways in which you can become more appealing and likable so that others will want to be around you. If getting people to like you is what you want, then the following tips will help.
15 Ways to get someone to like you back and make people fall in love with you.
1. Smile at people:
People are much more willing to be around those who are smiling and happy, rather than those who look sullen and upset.
Keep a positive outlook on life even if you don’t feel that way inside; it will make a difference in how others perceive you.
In addition, try not to judge other people as harshly as yourself. Don’t automatically assume they dislike you; treat them with respect instead of being dismissive or rude. When you stop to think about it, there is no reason why people should dislike you–you have done nothing wrong.
If a person doesn’t like your personality or character, then it isn’t your fault–they have decided not to like you for their own reasons. They just need time to come around. Meanwhile, smile and be nice anyway!
2. Be confident:
The way we act is often a reflection of how we feel. If you truly want people to like you, then it’s important that they feel comfortable around you.
Being too nervous or self-conscious can be off-putting and make others think twice about talking with you, but if they don’t know why they feel uncomfortable, they will continue to hold back their trust.
That is why confidence is so important–it makes us appear more friendly and approachable.
Confidence comes from knowing who you are and what you stand for; if there are things in your life that need work, accept them instead of denying them. Acceptance will keep your head clear and your focus on what is most important.
As difficult as it may seem at first, developing confidence takes time–so stick with it! Remember that each day brings opportunities for improvement; just because yesterday wasn’t great doesn’t mean today has to be exactly the same.
You control your future by taking action every day; get out there and start making changes today.
3. Be friendly and try to be social:
When we don’t know people, it is natural to be nervous and hesitant when they approach us. However, if we want them to open up, then we must lead by example.
If you are having a bad day or feeling insecure about yourself, try not to show it; instead of worrying what others will think of you, focus on treating them with respect. Let go of your inhibitions and start getting out there.
The more often you talk with new people and get used to interacting with strangers, the easier it will become for you to express yourself freely in any situation. People may not instantly warm up to you, but as time goes on they should feel safer around you.
This can easily make all the difference between being liked and being disliked–and that kind of change can take place within just one conversation. Sometimes all it takes is a positive interaction between two people for things to turn around in everyone’s favor.
Even saying hello can make a big difference. Being friendly does cost something though–taking risks involves risk itself.
But why wait until opportunities fall into your lap without trying anything at all? There is no such thing as certain failure–if you fail, so what? It isn’t permanent and doesn’t define who you are as a person.
4. Avoid negative people:
Unfortunately, there are some people who will never like you no matter what. No matter how hard you try, they will always find something wrong with your behavior and not be able to see beyond their own petty problems.
To these people, everything is about them; nothing is ever good enough for them–and if it’s not about them personally, then it isn’t worth their time.
Do your best to avoid these kinds of people whenever possible! Not only do they drag us down when we’re already feeling insecure, but over time we begin to adopt their same pessimistic attitude toward life and lose sight of our goals.
Don’t let that happen to you. Just because one person may not approve of you doesn’t mean everyone else feels that way as well.
In fact, a study conducted by Cornell University found that many introverts feel just as comfortable around strangers as extroverts do–they simply have a different approach to socializing and take more comfort in smaller groups instead of crowds.
Find what works for you and stick with it! And remember that socializing is supposed to be fun — make sure not let worries keep you from enjoying yourself or give up too easily.
Also read: How to be friends with someone you love?
5. Don’t be afraid of rejection:
If you want others to accept you, then it only makes sense that they should be able to do likewise.
Because being socially successful takes practice and effort, there will be times when it seems as though everyone is ignoring or avoiding us.
And let’s face it, nothing is worse than feeling unwanted–but don’t let that discourage you.
Instead of feeling upset at yourself for falling short of your goals (which is often impossible anyway), focus on what has made those interactions less than perfect and try again tomorrow.
Not every day will turn out perfectly, so don’t beat yourself up if things seem a little off-kilter.
Keep in mind that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent; just because some people dislike you doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with who you are.
Some people are simply unkind and hold grudges over small offenses (real or perceived) while others may not know how to act properly in social situations because they’re too shy to show their true selves.
Learn from these people, but don’t take them personally either; we all have bad days occasionally, but that doesn’t mean we hate ourselves any more than anyone else does.
Sometimes all it takes is one person holding us back from having a better day before we realize we aren’t going about things in an efficient manner.
6. Be humble:
Humility is something that many people struggle with, especially when we’re trying to stand out in a crowd. We want other people to think well of us, but how we go about getting their approval can affect our overall social success.
For example, while it’s important to be proud of what we’ve achieved, there’s a fine line between confidence and arrogance.
When we talk down on others or act as though they are beneath us in some way (even if only in our minds).
It’s easy for those around us to feel threatened or insecure; both emotions make it more difficult for them to become receptive to new ideas or want interaction with us at all.
So take pride in your accomplishments without acting arrogant, because even if they don’t see your hard work directly–the results speak for themselves.
In addition to being respectful of others’ opinions, learn to laugh at yourself once in a while.
Being able to poke fun at ourselves is one sign of maturity and high self-esteem which are considered attractive qualities.
Remember that nobody is perfect (not even you!) so try not to compare yourself too harshly to anyone else no matter how much better you may seem from an outsider’s perspective.
7. Stop being so serious:
While maturity is a positive quality, it’s also important to be able to enjoy yourself. Because socializing can feel more stressful than relaxing for some people, we need an outlet where we can unwind and feel at ease again.
The good news is that there are many things that help us relax and they’re often better than drugs because they won’t ruin our health or interfere with our goals later on.
For example, doing something athletic such as running or swimming in addition to meditation will not only improve our overall happiness but also makes us more attractive to others as well.
Remember that while what we say and do directly impacts other people’s perception of us (to an extent), attitude plays a large role in shaping those perceptions too; when we look happy about life it’s easier for other people’s moods to improve as well.
Even if nothing happened today aside from having fun, chances are tomorrow will go much smoother now that your problems have been pushed aside for just one day.
8. Be a good listener and supporter:
While people think that being liked by everyone is impossible, it’s actually easier than most of us think.
For example, we can start off small by being kind and respectful of other people’s opinions in addition to paying more attention when they speak.
By making a conscious effort not to interrupt or talk over others, we make it easier for them to participate in conversations with us rather than feeling pushed out. After all, isn’t it good to hear what other people have to say?
Some of them might surprise you with new perspectives that open your mind in ways that weren’t possible before.
It also helps build trust when we’re attentive during conversations because they know they’re not wasting their time on someone who isn’t interested.
In turn, these are people are more likely to return our attentiveness with reciprocal support down the road; for instance, if you need a helping hand one day, chances are that those around you will want to lend theirs too.
This can be just as valuable as financial assistance so don’t forget that there are many sources of help aside from money.
Lastly, bear in mind that showing true interest in others doesn’t mean asking them dozens of questions every second either.
Also read: Should I avoid someone who rejected me?
9. Love yourself first:
While it might seem odd, it’s actually one of the easiest ways to make people want to be around us. Loving ourselves doesn’t mean we’re stuck up or conceited but rather that we respect and value who we are as people.
For example, by recognizing our own strengths and weaknesses and acting accordingly (e.g., a public speaker may read a teleprompter or not, depending on how well they can deliver their speech without help).
Others will see us as knowledgeable rather than ignorant or lazy.
It also makes us more trustworthy in their eyes because they know they can rely on our own decisions over outside sources.
Sure, some people may judge us unfairly at times but don’t forget that those same individuals could face similar issues themselves when they interact with others so don’t waste your time worrying about them too much.
We all have something to gain from knowing what we have to offer; after all, if no one knew about them then would anyone ever appreciate them either?
One quick way to feel better about ourselves is through exercise; for instance, going for a jog or lifting weights on a regular basis helps relieve stress and anxiety while boosting self-esteem at the same time.
Also remember that many parts of life require teamwork including socializing so knowing how you fit into groups is crucial to feeling comfortable socially too.
10. Make an effort:
It doesn’t matter how much value we may have, others won’t want to be around us if we don’t make a minimal amount of effort.
People take initiative not because they want something from us but because they actually want to help; after all, what’s more, rewarding than being useful to those around us?
When it comes to making friends, showing interest and support is also key. If we simply expect others to approach us first, chances are that will rarely happen.
Sure, there are people who aren’t interested in meeting anyone new right now (just as there are those who won’t leave their comfort zone) but that doesn’t mean we should give up on them either.
A good rule of thumb is to let them know about our own opinions by talking about books or movies we’ve recently enjoyed, for example.
After all, knowing where another person stands on certain issues can help move the conversation forward at ease.
Another way to break down barriers during social interactions is through humor; laughter has been shown to reduce stress hormones while also increasing endorphins which make one feel happy.
The best part about laughter is that it’s contagious so if we can make another smile or even laugh themselves then chances are they’ll return our kindness soon enough.
Lastly, remember that when building friendships, slow and steady wins the race. Even though fast results might seem better in theory, trying too hard often ends with hurt feelings rather than friendship.
11. Seek advice and help when it’s necessary:
This helps them to understand that you don’t have any ego issues to seek help. It might sound strange but people actually want to hear about our problems (assuming they’re reasonable and/or easy enough to understand).
I am not saying that we should wallow in our own misery 24/7; on the contrary, what I am suggesting is that we should discuss what’s weighing on us so long as it doesn’t put others in a negative situation.
Again, if an individual isn’t interested then let them know but don’t hold back otherwise! Instead of bottling up stress or anger, take advantage of opportunities when they come along; there’s nothing wrong with asking for help during hard times either.
Remember, many people have had their own low points too so asking for help can actually make us feel closer while also helping others learn more about who we are as well.
12. Give compliments and make appropriate jokes:
According to studies, compliments work pretty well when it comes to winning people over. Of course, care should be taken when deciding which compliment is appropriate for any given situation; some are better than others.
For example, there’s a huge difference between saying That’s a nice suit and I really like your tie. However, once we’ve selected an appropriate comment, there’s no reason not to say it.
After all, if used correctly, compliments can make another person feel good about themselves without actually causing any harm.
On that note, don’t forget to appreciate even small things; after all, sometimes they’re what matters most.
A good way to start conversations with strangers is through asking questions; these may seem easy but they’re very effective in getting us talking rather quickly.
And yes, jokes do help because laughter helps us to feel less anxious around others (that also means we’ll look more relaxed as well!).
If nothing else works though, simply being ourselves does help as well since it lets others see who we really are.
13. Learn body language:
I have spent most of my time learning about and practicing psychology and, without a doubt, body language is one of (if not) The most important things to learn. After all, nothing says more about us than our own movements.
The problem with figuring out how we want others to feel though is that they’re almost always going to differ from person-to-person! What’s a good way to tell if someone likes or dislikes something then?
By paying attention to their body movements and expressions first and foremost. This can be tricky so it’s best to begin by familiarizing ourselves with certain emotions; in turn, we can observe what kinds of activities cause these feelings.
For example, anger often results in clenched fists while sadness tends to change posture such as slouching over or looking down at our feet; relaxation leads to leaning on walls instead of sitting straight up in chairs etc.
Once we know what specific motions may mean then it becomes easier for us to read other people better but don’t forget about them either; practice makes perfect after all.
Don’t just look at faces alone either because hands and arms help say even more. If we raise an arm when greeting another individual then chances are positive that we are open and friendly (at least initially); however, giving people the finger tells us otherwise.
Being able to recognize which gestures indicate which emotion means less time trying to guess how others really feel; being wrong usually ends in awkward situations so why take risks when there are easy ways around it?
Along those same lines remember that actions do speak louder than words as well. No matter how many times we tell someone else not to worry about something or that everything will be okay, actions speak louder than words.
14. Treat them as you would want to be treated:
The best tip on how to get someone to like you is that, we should treat others as we would want to be treated. The reason being that once we truly understand and think about what that means then everything changes.
We become more understanding and caring when dealing with others; we stop judging people immediately without getting to know them first; we are less likely to take actions based on something else entirely.
And that’s really just scratching at the surface of all there is to it because nothing says more than treating others well.
Don’t forget to make eye contact when talking to others either! After all, it communicates both warmth and sincerity (the ability for someone to look us in our eyes) and helps us express ourselves better too since facial expressions can say a lot about our feelings/thoughts/feelings etc.
As far as trying again goes we should always remember that persistence pays off over time! It may seem odd at first but after a while doing anything repeatedly leads us down paths of success (no matter how small). For example, taking action multiple times until finally reaching your goal can work wonders if done right.
15. Share what you are passionate about and be consistent:
The other best tip on how to get someone to like you is that we should share our passions with others.
When we do things in which we have a true interest, it’s easy for us to begin acting more naturally around others because there is no longer a need for us to pretend; being genuine leads others (which usually grow over time) while false personalities seem fake.
It’s important though that we remember not only why but also how when sharing our passions with others; if they don’t make sense then chances are positive that those listening will feel skeptical or confused instead of intrigued.
Finally, How to get someone to like you? Always remember to choose your words wisely! That includes conversations with yourself as well since it affects us similarly too.
If we tell ourselves often enough that you’re not good enough then we start believing it as fact until something comes along and changes everything forever (usually).
Instead, try focusing on all your strengths regardless of any flaws along side them because even negatives can lead us down paths of success at times.
Remember that life isn’t perfect so never expect perfection from yourself either. That said, I hope everyone found these tips helpful, and please feel free to leave a comment if you wish.
After all, nothing says I care more than taking action despite opinions/thoughts/feelings etc. Cheers!