How to deal with someone who hurt you emotionally?

We are not perfect humans.  Frequently, without even realizing we all hurt each other. Sometimes we get hurt by our own thoughts emotionally and psychologically as well. 

Most often we do not concern with each little detail in our lives, either in relationships or in person.

We overlook and be insensitive to the moments. We become ignorant of the present actions and their consequence.

That’s part of human subconsciousness. Which is why we suffer. Though all the suffering experience is not bad in terms of psychological growth.

Dealing with such situations depends upon an individual’s temperament, life experiences, and awareness of own.

When someone hurts you deeply, it can be tempting to turn away and pretend it never happened. 

But burying those feelings only hurts you in the end. So, how to deal with someone who hurt you emotionally that you don’t want things to stay this way?

Also read: How to tell someone you just want to be friends without hurting them? (10 Tips)

When confronting someone about their behavior, the key is to be direct. Your goal is to change how the behavior plays out in the future.

Show them how their behavior affects you. When you communicate your thoughts and feelings, you give them the chance to change.

Even if the person doesn’t agree or accept their toxic behavior, they still need to know that you care about them and want to fix the issue. Let them know that you don’t want to end up being hurtful all the time.

So, how to deal with emotions, pain, and suffering irrespective of the situation? What to say when someone hurts your feelings? and What to do when someone hurts your feelings? 

Let’s try to find the optimal solutions for such emotional outbreaks and prevent it from happening ever again to control us.

Related: How to be honest: A guide to build trust, be truthful and show honesty in life.

How to deal with someone who hurt you emotionally?


The first thing you should do is to reflect rather than react to any negative emotional situation. Secondly, recognize what influenced someone to hurt you.

If the problem is you yourself, then try to figure out your flaws and improve your emotional connection with that person to resolve the conflict

Otherwise, if that person is unhealthy, analyze their toxic behavior. If you really care for them and want to continue the relationship, help them to realize their ignorance.

Even if that doesn’t help them to change their approach to treat you well the way you deserved, then take some time alone and space for yourself to bounce back from the emotional pain and move on and just be peaceful.

Also read: How to tell someone they hurt you? (5 Steps with examples)

Let’s discuss the situation of how to deal with someone who hurt you emotionally, step by step.

What to say to someone who is hurting emotionally?

What- to-say-to-someone-who-has-hurt-you-deeply

Definitely, it’s hard and heartbreaking to face conflicts with people. Especially, we do not know what to do when we are hurt by someone we love. For the time being, we can avoid the issue.

However, that’s only a temporary fix. If we do not act right then, it will consume us from within and the misunderstandings will grow and create different problems. Therefore, the best obvious solution is clear communication between each other.

So, what to say to someone who is hurting emotionally?

Ask questions that would make them question themselves.

Questions like –

What are your intentions behind hurting me?

Do you really mean to hurt me or is it accidental outrageous anger?

What Can I do to fix this issue, if all my actions hurt?

Do you have any solutions to clear this conflict?

Do you think we need to solve or go in separate ways?

These kinds of questions will convey to him/her that you truly care for him and do anything to solve the conflicts. 

Also read: How to tell someone they are hurting you emotionally? (7 ways)

Here my tip is – If you communicate the conflicts in terms of statements, only more arguments will arise and misunderstanding and rage grows.

So, asking powerful questions will make them analyze the situation on their own. 

Don’t force any relationship situation. Just give time for them to realize their own mistakes. But just help them to do that if you clearly see the situation from both perspectives.

Also read: How to get over someone who hurt you and used you? (23 tips)

Ways to deal with someone who hurt you emotionally.


1. Give yourself time.

If you have been through a painful relationship, it will likely take some time before you truly feel like you can start healing.

Give yourself time to work through your emotions, but be careful not to give yourself too much time. But soon enough to bounce back and approach them with a fresh perspective and open yourself to that person about the problem.

2. Remember that your feelings are valid.

Ultimately, how you feel about this person and how you process what happened are up to you. By taking the time to understand and process your feelings, you will be able to approach this person from a place of strength and control.

Also read: 15 Situations when someone you love hurts you deeply

3. Focus on kindness.

Whether you have been hurt or hurt by someone, if you focus on being kind, you are one step closer to healing.

And make others realize their own mistakes. Sometimes people are unaware of how their actions are hurting their loved ones. See the good side of everything and let the things flow as they are.

4. Don’t expect the other person to change.

While you might be hoping for certain changes in the other person, remember that the only person you can change is yourself.

You can’t force someone to be better unless they are ready to make an effort for themselves. Be optimistic but don’t expect anything from people once they have broken the trust you put in them.

Also read: What to say to someone who has hurt you deeply? (8 Tips with example conversation)

5. Be patient.

Healing from a painful relationship is a process, and it may take time. Be patient with yourself and the person with whom you are trying to heal. Take time to see if there is any change in their behavior and then accordingly.

6. Make the decision to forgive.

Forgiveness isn’t something that happens while you’re sitting passively by. It’s a decision you have to actively make. Remind yourself of the benefits of forgiveness — your peace of mind, your healing, your ability to let go of the past.

Also read: How can someone say they love you and then hurt you?

7. Express your feelings.

It’s normal to feel angry, disappointed, or hurt when someone hurts you. But expressing your feelings can be cathartic and can help you work through those feelings.

And let them know what caused the conflict. If they feel sorry for their actions then you can have the hope to work on the issue.

If possible, make an effort to make them understand how their actions are affecting your mental health.

Also read: What to do when you are hurt by someone you love?

8. Let go of anger.

When you feel angry, it’s natural to want to lash out or defend yourself. Instead, take a deep breath, let it out, and then let it go. Resist the urge to blame the other person.

Don’t engage with negative thoughts. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking, “This person is so evil, how can I ever forgive them?”

Resist the urge to indulge in those thoughts. Instead, avoid talking about the person who hurt you.

9. Forgive in small doses as you heal.

It’s impossible to forgive someone for every little thing they’ve done. Instead, forgive in stages, forgiving smaller things when you can.

Set aside resentment. As you forgive, it’s important to set aside any resentment you have toward that person. Holding on to resentment can feel like a shield against the hurt you feel, but it’s best to let it go.

Also read: How to tell someone they hurt your feelings? (7 Tips with examples)

How do you stop letting someone hurt you?


During negative situations or when someone hurts you, allow the emotional pain to guide you to gain strength.

When you have enough experience with the suffering, eventually, you will come to a stage, involuntarily you do not react to any situations that make you feel low.

 Instead, you will be able to see the situation from the rational mind’s perspective. This will help you stop letting someone hurt you ever again. 

Emotionally broken people often resurrect with powerful personalities and insights into every human they interact with.

Just because of their negative or traumatic experiences, they always become better at understanding the existence exclusively of humans and their behaviors. 

This approach develops a certain level of empathy in them towards other people. That’s the true inspiration behind going through suffering and allowing pain. 

Just be aware of your thoughts and clear with your intentions. In such a way, no one controls you with their dishonesty and decisive plans.

Just be as persuasive as you can. Try your best to understand humans, fix what you can, and continue to learn, evolve, and live in this world with harmony and peace.

Also read: How to get over someone who hurt you and used you? (23 tips)

Tips to deal with someone who hurt you emotionally.

When someone hurts us, we often don’t know how to respond. Overwhelmed, we might go into denial, withdraw, or lash out. Or we might try to take revenge, hoping that the pain will go away.

But dealing with trauma — and the healing process — requires honest, authentic connection. And that can come through words.

“When I hurt someone, I often just wanted them to go away. And that’s not healthy. We don’t get to walk away from each other. We learn how to live with each other when we’re with each other.

It took me a long time to realize that I can’t always change other people, but I can change myself. And learning to see me as God does — with the love and acceptance that every human being deserves — is the best thing I can do for the other person.

Also read: Can you ever stop loving someone who hurt you? 4 Steps

Here are some tips to deal with someone who hurt you emotionally.

First, know that this pain will pass. You’ll have a chance to process what happened and work through the feelings of hurt. And you’ll be able to move on with your life.

Second, it’s normal to feel sad, disappointed, depressed, or angry. And it’s important to understand that these feelings are normal reactions to someone’s hurtful behavior.

Third, remember that sometimes people act in hurtful ways as a way of expressing deep pain, disappointment, or fear.

Instead of getting caught up in other people’s pain, try to connect with them by focusing on what’s important to you.

You can’t control other people’s actions, but you can control your own. And being honest with oneself is the best thing one can do.

Also read: How to let go of someone who hurt you? (15 Tips to move on)

The best thing you can do is be there for the other person. And the only way you know how to do that is by opening up your heart and giving that person your full attention, even when you are scared.”

Be gentle with your heart, and be kind to yourself.

Sometimes we’re scared. Sometimes we’re not. But we have a choice. We can choose to be kind. To ourselves and to the other person.

Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, be gentle with your actions and remember that you’ve been loved and not alone.

Related: How to stop being emotionally attached to someone?

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Naveen Bommakanti

Naveen is Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry.

Naveen’s expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few.

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