How long does it take to get over someone?

Updated on:

By: Naveen B

Breaking up with someone you love can be one of the most difficult experiences in life.

When you lose the person special to you, it can even feel like your heart has been broken into pieces that will never come back together again.

But though this feeling of emptiness may be overwhelming, it’s possible to get over someone you love and move on with your life with time and effort. But you may think how long does it take to get over someone you love?

We’ve all been there, obsessing over that one person that we just can’t seem to shake from our minds no matter how hard we try.

Getting over someone you love takes time and lots of work to get through the pain and heartache that comes with this type of loss.

The first step to getting over someone you love, however, is recognizing that it’s not too late to learn from your experience and move on stronger than before.

This article will walk you through some of the best ways to get over someone, whether it’s a friend or a romantic partner so that you can focus on the present and future instead of dwelling on the past. Keep reading and reflect on these practical steps and tips to move on faster.

Also read: Is it possible for someone to love you and still cheat on you?

How long does it take to get over someone?

How long does it take to get over someone love How long does it take to get over someone?

People have all kinds of different experiences when it comes to getting over a relationship.

One person might find themselves pining for lost love for years, while another seems to have bounced back from heartbreak in a matter of months.

Research suggests that our brains can take at least 18 days to recover from a breakup—but, contrary to popular belief, getting over a breakup isn’t as simple as just moving on.

The amount of time it takes varies from person to person, but on average some studies say that it can take up to a year and a half after ending a relationship for your brain chemistry and hormones to return to normal.

And sometimes breaking up is just really hard on your body: A number of physical symptoms can occur following a breakup, including headaches and stomach aches.

There are ways to ease yourself through these difficult times though. With patience and effort, you should be able to recover from any major relationship setback!

Also read: How to get over someone who broke your heart?

Why does it take so long to get over someone you love?

Why does it take so long to get over someone How long does it take to get over someone?

If you wonder why is it taking me so long to get over my ex? you need to realize that the process of getting over someone you love is different for everyone. And while there’s no particular time frame that can tell us exactly how long it takes to get over someone you love.

Here’s what happens when you fall out of love with an ex: When people believe they have been rejected by a person they love, research shows two distinct reactions:

The first is grief; much like an actual death, people experience strong feelings that resemble sadness, anger and confusion.

The second reaction is anger; people feel violated by a perceived betrayal and view themselves as victims of unfair treatment.

These are normal reactions that show up whenever any type of intimate connection breaks down, be it between lovers or friends.

There are also a few factors that make a difference in how long it will take any one person to get over his or her own heartbreak. 

Consider what you can do to manage your sadness and begin putting yourself back together again.

Also read: How to get over someone lying to you?

6 Reasons why it takes so long to get over someone

1. How You Were Hurt Matters

One of the things that may help determine how soon you feel ready to move on from a painful experience is just how you were hurt. 

We all have our very own unique defense mechanisms—reactions we use when we become stressed out and anxious about something, and some people tend to cope with grief more effectively than others.

Those who seem to bounce back after losing someone they care about might simply be good at distracting themselves, which keeps them from obsessing over their loss. 

Others might find greater success by focusing on their emotions rather than trying to numb them.

Both of these coping strategies can be effective in managing anxiety and pain—it just depends on what helps each individual person get through their situation most comfortably.

If you had little say in your relationship ending (perhaps because he left you), then it’s likely that your feelings will hit harder and last longer than if you had more control over whether or not he stayed around.

That doesn’t mean that one way of coping is better than another; it just means understanding how we come to terms with heartache is important so we can create healthy habits for ourselves moving forward.

Also read: How to get over someone you never dated?

2. What Happened Might Influence Your Recovery

 As much as we’d like to think we can keep distance between our personal and professional lives, many times those two worlds cannot coexist without affecting each other.

Whether it’s because you feel embarrassed or ashamed of your failed romance, or perhaps even guilty about moving on before your ex does.

The reality is that what happened during your short-lived romance might impact how quickly you’re able to recover. And since no two relationships are alike, neither are all of our experiences once they’ve ended. 

For example, A friend who lost her boyfriend suddenly after a whirlwind romance may bounce back from her loss faster than her best friend who dated a guy for years before discovering she was one of many women he’d been sleeping with behind her back. 

The end result is still similar — love has gone wrong — but some people react differently to different types of romantic rejection and betrayal.

3. Where You Are In Life Matters

Besides how your former flame hurt you and where you were when things went sour, there’s also where you currently stand in life that will influence exactly how long it takes to move past what happened.

Being older or younger can make a big difference here. Younger folks generally have less experience dealing with breakups and tend to rely more heavily on others for support as they work through their grief.

Older adults who don’t have kids yet might not get distracted from missing someone new simply because they don’t yet have anything else going on in their lives besides obsessing over their breakup.

Children, spouses, friends, and family can all help us through hard times

But only if we let them, The point is that everyone processes loss differently based on where they are right now in life. 

Also read: How to get over someone cheating on you?

4. Physical Health Can Impact Emotional Wellbeing.

One of the things that’s interesting to note is that physical health can actually play a role in recovering from emotional setbacks.

Being overweight, out of shape, and/or physically unhealthy are known risk factors for depression, which can lead to substance abuse issues later on.

Additionally, smoking and excessive drinking make getting over your own heartbreak more difficult. 

5. Low self esteem. Feeling Bad About Yourself.

It’s normal to question yourself after a breakup, because it’s human nature to wonder what you did wrong or what you could have done differently.

Maybe you questioned your relationship too many times and drove him away, or maybe your actions made him realize he didn’t want to deal with your mood swings anymore.

Whatever happened, it can be easy to blame yourself for everything that didn’t work out. But instead of dwelling on what might have been, try your best to remind yourself that not every relationship is meant to last forever.

That said, it’s always good to reflect on what you learned from your time with him so you can learn how to act differently in future relationships.

6. Unhealthy Emotional Attachment Styles

Unfortunately, many of us learn after a breakup that our partner wasn’t really worthy of all of our time and energy after all.

Most experts agree that it can take anywhere from weeks to months or even years for some. 

However, if you’re suffering from an extreme heartbreak or recently got out of a serious relationship you might be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder, wherein case you might need medical attention to aid your recovery.

Also, unhealthy attachment styles can impact severely on your mental health and emotional health. And that’s why it takes so long to get over someone you love deeply.

Recommended reading: How to get over someone you love who doesn’t love you back?

How to get over someone you love?


Overcoming someone you love is a heartbreaking and traumatic experience. In fact, it is probably one of life’s most difficult experiences.

As overwhelming as it can be, with time and effort you can regain control of your life and overcome your broken heart. No matter how terrible you feel now, things will improve in time. You just need to give yourself some space to heal.

There are several approaches that have proven effective at healing a broken heart—and improving self-esteem after rejection or relationship failure.

It’s important to learn how to heal and move forward after a relationship ends—not just because of how it will affect your emotional well-being, but also because those who move on quickly are more likely to find new relationships than those who stay mired in their past.

5 Steps to get over someone you love deeply faster

Research suggests that our brains can take months or even years to recover from a breakup—but, contrary to popular belief, getting over a breakup isn’t as simple as just moving on.

Just keep in mind these five steps for getting over an ex.

1) Remind yourself why things didn’t work out.

 It helps to put some distance between yourself and your hurtful breakup before trying to move on.

This way, you won’t make hasty decisions during times of stress (like deleting all his pictures off your phone). Instead, give yourself time to adjust to being single again.

Try looking back at photos together—you may see him differently now that you aren’t in love anymore. Or think about why he wasn’t right for you and remember what you want from your next relationship.

2) Don’t let yourself turn into a stalker.

Many people don’t realize their behavior is stalkerish until they look back on it. If left unchecked, stalking becomes habitual and completely ruins your chances of getting over them.

For example, if you’re tempted to watch his social media accounts 24/7 to catch him doing something wrong with another girl, try reaching out instead—give him a call, send over some texts…whatever works best.

You can prevent yourself from becoming your own worst enemy by taking control of your thoughts and actions early on in the healing process.

3) Give yourself time to grieve.

Grief is normal for anyone going through a breakup because love is so profoundly personal—it affects us at every level.

At first, you’ll probably go through a period of denial, followed by waves of sadness. Eventually, you’ll reach a point where you just accept that you were not meant to be together.

Be kind to yourself throughout each stage—try not to rush anything. Remember that everyone moves at their own pace.

4) Find positive distractions.

It’s easier said than done, but turning your attention away from your broken heart can actually help relieve some of your pain. Surround yourself with family and close friends, or do some fun activities you enjoy.

Make sure your workouts are healthy and that you’re eating a healthy diet—exercise and eating right can actually boost serotonin levels in your brain, improving mood over time.

Keep in mind, however, that we tend to eat more than usual when we’re sad or depressed—making it especially important to maintain a healthy diet. 

5) Get busy building your life without him/her and move on.

Whatever you do, don’t wait for him to come back. He’s not coming back, and if you really love yourself, you won’t force yourself to sit around wondering why.

Move on by thinking of your future self—imagine what she needs from a relationship and start looking for people who can offer those qualities to you.

Sure, it might be hard at first. But if you remind yourself of why it’s worth it, you’ll gradually start to move on. And one day, you might even be able to laugh at how silly your breakup was!

Also read: How to get over someone faster?

5 Tips to get over a breakup

tips to get over a breakup How long does it take to get over someone?

Here are a few tips on how to get over someone

1. Act rationally and see reality as it is. 

Do not rush into anything; especially falling in love with somebody else! I’ve seen many people rushing into relationships after their breakups thinking that another love will make them forget about their ex-partner.

But as it turned out they fell in love again and again and suffered twice as much! It took me two years to recover from my last relationship; some wounds heal faster than others but be patient, there’s no need to rush.

If you feel like your heart is broken, stop dating other people or looking for love for now; focus on healing yourself instead of putting more pressure on yourself.

But what if you meet Mr/Ms Right during your breakup? Then don’t worry – enjoy your new romance without feeling guilty (your ex doesn’t deserve that).

2. Don’t suppress your feelings.

Don’t bottle up your emotions or try to act like everything is okay when it isn’t! Cry, scream, rant, rave; do whatever makes you feel better about it! Just remember that there is a time and place for everything.

3. Do something that makes you happy!

 Spend time with your friends and family; travel, watch a movie, read a book, visit your favorite place in town – do what makes you feel good and distracts from thinking about your ex.

4. Do some physical activities.

Exercise is very important for our health and well-being, but it helps with stress management as well.

Remember that even if you don’t feel like doing anything, go jogging or take a walk around your neighborhood; exercise will energize you and make you happier.

If physical activity isn’t your thing, try a different form of exercise: yoga, Pilates, swimming – they all have their benefits and can be a great way to relieve stress.

5. Surround yourself with people who love and support you!

Remember that breakup is not about getting back at your ex or becoming more attractive to somebody else – it’s about being happy on your own terms, so if being single is what makes you happy right now, then go ahead and enjoy it!

Final thoughts:

Breakups are difficult, and whether you’re on the giving or receiving end, it can feel like your heart will never recover.

After all, you probably developed some strong feelings over the course of your relationship, and those feelings don’t just disappear overnight.

But as tough as it may be to accept, those feelings will eventually pass. Hope the above strategies that can help make the process easier on both your heart and your mind. Good luck.

Recommended reading for you:

How to get over someone you never had?

How to get over someone you love deeply?

How to get over someone who used you?

How to get over someone who hurt you?

Image credits: People vector created by stories –


  • Naveen B

    Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry. His expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few. To be updated with his latest work, connect with him by following his social media accounts.

    View all posts
Photo of author
Experienced Psychology and philosophy Writer, self-help and relationship Coach and thought influencer. He has 7 years of experience in Personal development industry. His expertise as a self-help and relationship Coach has been highlighted through his articles in medium and substack to name a few. To be updated with his latest work, connect with him by following his social media accounts.

Leave a Comment